h o n e y ;

REMI CASTILLO - INTRODUCTION

–

He’d never really had to explain himself to Remi. She knew him. The two of them were so different and yet he knew that Remi understood him in ways no one else ever would. Her rebuttal only confirmed that. A soft, yet surprised laugh sputtered out of him as she described him so effortlessly, like she knew him better than he knew himself. Maybe she did. “Pretty much sums it up,“ he murmured, "Always been that way. Had to be when we were growin’ up,” Sawyer admitted, shrugging his shoulders. Over the years he’d known Remi, he’d never divulged much about how he and Jodie had grown up, or why he was the way he was. He wondered if she could see it scrawled all over him— the abuse, the way he’d been forced to grow up long before he ever should have. “Guess I just ain’t ever figured out how to stop.” Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he grinned crookedly at her words, “I can do that.” He didn’t think he could change even if he tried, but he could at least try and behave well enough to stay out of prison. “Promise.“

As if by instinct, he found himself threading his fingers through her hair and tracing random patterns along her skin as she pressed in close again. “We’re good, darlin’,” he assured her, offering up a brief yet warm smile. Laughing softly at her words, he dipped his head in a nod. Absence did make the heart grow fonder and after years without her, he’d never been more certain of how he felt about her. The night of the storm, he’d told her how much he kicked himself over the things he hadn’t said to her five years ago. Now, as she tried to process how her father fit into all of this, it was his chance to say them. “He knew I wanted to be with you,“ Sawyer confessed, blowing out a heavy breath. “Point blank asked me one day at the garage,” he laughed, head shaking as he smiled fondly at the memory. He’d been working on Grayson’s bike, installing a few new parts when the older man had decided to interrogate him. Sawyer didn’t know how Grayson had pieced it together, but he hadn’t seen the point in lying about it— he’d been just as serious about Remi back then as he was now. But if her father had ever been okay with the idea of Sawyer pursuing her, it ended the moment he’d landed himself behind bars, and Grayson had been quick to drive that message home. “When I went inside, he paid me a visit. Told me to leave ya out of it and let ya go,” he continued, frowning gently, “Didn’t want me to complicate shit any more than it already was.” Sawyer hadn’t blamed Grayson for that. Behind bars, staring down a ten year prison sentence, he knew he’d never be able to offer Remi a future, so why dangle it in front of her? Why torture himself with the thought of what could have been? And so he’d agreed not to call. “I could handle the leavin’ ya out of it part…but lettin’ ya go?” Sawyer shook his head, “Couldn’t do it then, can’t do it now.” He’d still thought about her every day over those five years, longed for her the way he’d never longed for anyone else, because even then he’d known— Remi Castillo was the woman he wanted by his side, come hell or high water. “‘cause I want this, Rem. I wanted it five years ago.”

☀

The unexpected dips and weaves that their date night had left Remi’s mind racing in a frenzy, and she just hoped to god that not all date nights were going to follow the same pattern. Despite how effortless the changes in their relationship felt since Sawyer’s release from prison, Remi also knew that nothing worth having came easy, and there were bound to be hicks in the road. She would be naïve to ever think there wouldn’t be any considering her dislike for the club, and his devotion to it. But what part Remi’s father played in all of this, that shook her the most. Her deep frown slipped away, soon to be replaced with a soft smile. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes, knowing that was her father to a T. He had never been one to beat around the bush, if he had something to say, then he would say it. Although the truth behind Grayson’s visit to Sawyer in prison caused Remi’s gaze to fall downwards, that same familiar frown quickly taking residence upon her brow again. Again, her mind was battling with itself. Her father was only trying to protect her and keep her safe, away from a life he knew she never wanted. But she couldn’t stop herself from feeling a brief twitch of betrayal, now knowing that her father had stolen Sawyer away from her. But he had done it out of love for his daughter, and wanting her to have a better life than a prison wife.

“My father was a pretty intense man. Cruel, sometimes.” Remi chuckled lightly as she nodded her head, her eyes finding Sawyer’s again with a gentle smile. “But he had a good heart. And he loved his kids, he would’ve gone to the ends of the earth and further for us. But I also know that he loved you, he respected you and I know that it wouldn’t have been easy for him to ask that of you. But,” her fingers that had tucked themselves away between his knuckles squeezed his hand lightly. “I don’t blame him for it, and I don’t blame you either.” Remi was well aware that Sawyer could’ve easily brushed aside Grayson’s words and followed what he wanted, but he didn’t. And that was how she knew Sawyer was a good man, that was how she knew waiting five years hadn’t all been for nothing. “Because I don’t think we were ready for each other five years ago.” she had convinced herself over the years that they couldn’t have worked anyway until he had a handle on his anger, and she had a better grip on her career. Only then would everything fall into place, if that was what fate intended. “I knew that somehow, we would find our way back to each other. And we did, that night of the storm when you came over to me with that big, stupid smile of yours.” Remi’s own grew wider as her hand moved to his cheek, the familiar texture of his beard tickling her palm. “I want you, us. And this time, I’m not letting go.”

–

It didn’t surprise him to learn that Jodie had reached out to Remi that night. He wasn’t the only Graves who’d learned to lean on her and the mere thought roused a soft smile to his lips. It brought him comfort, knowing that his sister had had someone to turn to when he couldn’t be there. But the more Remi spoke about what she saw, the quicker Sawyer’s smile faded, soon to be replaced by some sour mix of both shock and shame. Horrified, he slowly sat up, rife with the need to move around and shake off the discomfort settling on his shoulders. “Jesus Christ,” he whispered, steepling his hands together over his nose and mouth. “I’m sorry ya had to see that.” Cursing softly to himself, Sawyer pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “You must think I’m a fuckin’ monster,” he muttered, lips curving into a bitter smile. At the time, he hadn’t thought about just how far his sins could reach— all the people they could touch— but he’d never wanted Jodie or Remi to see what he’d done. But that was who he was, and Sawyer needed her to know that he would always leap to protect the people he loved, no matter what that looked like or how bloody it got. He’d never quite figured out how to make that part of himself lay down and die. Truthfully, he didn’t think he could. Warmth stung his eyes but he quickly blinked it away and glanced over at her, “I would’ve done the same for you, Rem. Still would.”

Was he stupid to think this could work? As she spoke, his gaze flickered between the two of them, as if mentally tallying up all the ways he could fuck this up. She was a nurse and he was a career criminal. But more than that, Remi was good— in all the ways that Sawyer never could be. His hands were far too stained for that. But that was who he was at his core, who the patch on his back demanded that he be. He didn’t think he could change even if he wanted to. And yet, they kept landing in each other’s orbit time and time again— so much that Sawyer wanted to think that they were supposed to be there. Swallowing thickly, he twisted to eye her a bit better and lifted a brow. She’d been falling for him? Sawyer blinked, unsure that he’d heard her correctly. It was the confirmation he’d been subconsciously longing to hear for a while now— that what happened between them five years ago hadn’t been some fluke, that there had been more to it. Exhaling a shaky breath, he pocketed the information and leaned back, settling against the pile of pillows and blankets once more. “C’mere, Remi,” he murmured when he couldn’t listen any longer. “I don’t want ya to be sorry, or have regrets,“ he pressed, reaching out to try and tug her into him again, “Not over me, babe.” She’d had far more important things to worry about. Easing out a long sigh, he glanced over at her, a hint of his usual lopsided grin threatening at one corner of his mouth, “I wanted to be so angry at ya,” he admitted with a laugh, amused by how stupid his plan to get over her had been, “I thought that maybe if I was angry, it wouldn’t hurt as much, or maybe I’d be able to figure out a way to stop thinkin’ about ya.” Rolling his eyes, Sawyer scoffed and smiled sheepishly, "Didn’t work.” He thought that part was obvious, considering just how quickly he’d crammed himself back into her life once he’d been released. “It ain’t fair for me to lay all the blame at your feet though,” he continued, shrugging his shoulders, "I never called ya— and I shoulda. But,” He paused, lips pressing into a thin line. The list of things Sawyer wanted to tell Remi felt endless, but he’d never really had a good starting point. Until now. Clearing his throat, he hesitated for a moment, knowing if he didn’t tell her now he likely never would, “I promised your old man that I wouldn’t.”

☀

Remi’s frown dipped and weaved deeper as she watched Sawyer try to shake the clear discomfort from knowing that she had seen all the damage he had done to Travis. “No.” she was quick to correct him, her voice barely just above a whisper as her throat still restrained from allowing herself to grow more upset. “For a while, I didn’t know what to think.” Remi confessed, knowing that it had taken her five years of pretending everything was okay and that she had moved on. It had taken her a long time, but she had come to terms with Sawyer’s actions, just as Jodie did. The two women were lucky in that they had each other to lean on for support, and encouragement to move forwards. “I don’t think you’re a monster.” Remi reiterated as her hand reached for his, her fingers curling and resting gently between his knuckles as if they had found a home there. “I think you’re a man who feels so intensely and loves so passionately that when something or someone dares to even encroach on the things that you love, your instinct is to protect them. Just like you protected Jodie for all those years. You react the only way you know how. Instead, all of that intensity is driven in the opposite direction and - it takes over.” Remi’s shoulders sunk lower as she exhaled slowly, knowing that this wasn’t exactly how she had imagined their date night would go. “I would never ask you to change. All I ask is that you try and stay away from prison.” her lips curled into a half-hearted smile.

Without even realising it, she had released a sigh of relief as Sawyer pulled her closer again. Their conversation felt as if it had been forcing a wedge between them, pushing them apart. But they ignored the tides and pulled to one another again, almost instinctively. Remi had settled beside him again with ease, her arm curling around his waist as she rest her head upon his chest, his heart beat almost like a gentle melody. “I just want us to be okay.” she half pleaded half asked as she tilted her head upwards to look at him. “Well they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Remi teased gently, a smile finally warming her cheeks. That had certainly been the case for her anyway, no matter how hard she tried to fight it by fooling herself into other relationships. Although the sudden mention of her father caused her smile to drop instantly, a shiver running along her spine. “My dad?” she repeated, the confusion contorting her voice. “Why would you promise him that? When did you-” Remi’s frown burrowed deeper as she stumbled over her words, her mind trying to make sense of what he was telling her. Clearly her father had a part to play in all of this, but what part? And why? Did he know something that she didn’t? Did he know something that Sawyer didn’t know? She swallowed hard and blinked furiously, trying to stop her mind from spinning. “What do you mean you promised him? Did he make you? Sawyer-” Remi breathed out shakily, knowing that she was getting way too ahead of herself

–

As Remi spoke, he thought to shake his head and maybe even put up a protest as she apologized, but he didn’t. He kept quiet— his thoughts were already spinning around wildly enough without his mouth making an even bigger mess of them. But he’d have been lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this time and time again over the last five years. It was no secret that Remi had been noticeably absent, and for the life of him, Sawyer hadn’t been able to figure out why. Shifting uncomfortably against their makeshift bed, Sawyer frowned, hating the way her guilt sounded when it mixed in with the usual warmth in her tone. But still, he couldn’t help but wonder— if Remi knew she should have been there…why hadn’t she been? “Can I ask ya somethin’?” He began, finally breaking his silence. Swallowing hard, Sawyer tilted his head and looked over at her, “After that first visit…why’d ya never come back?”

Letting the question hang between them for a moment, he propped himself up on his side with a soft grunt and peered down at her, “I just…I guess I’ve been tryin’ to wrap my mind around it, y’know? We’ve known each other for years, Rem. Been through a lot together,” he murmured, lazily washing a hand up her side. “When ya didn’t come back, it just…” Sawyer trailed off, head shaking. “Made me wonder if any of it even meant anythin’ to ya,” he managed, his jaw clenching with an emotion he couldn’t name. It wasn’t anger— not even close. It was a potent mix of confusion, hurt, and maybe even a little bit of embarrassment too. He felt stupid, airing all of this out to dry now because he’d convinced himself over the last five years that he had no real right to feel this way…right? They’d slept together, but they hadn’t actually been together. She’d had no obligation to him— but it wasn’t even about that. It was everything else— how she’d been one of the few constants in his life since he’d moved to Olympus, how she’d been there to comfort him when his uncle had been killed, the way he’d helped her with her father and whatever heartbreak some stupid boy had hurled at her, and so much more. And yet in some ways, he’d felt discarded— forgotten as though that history between them hadn’t even mattered. Shaking his head, he shoved his own feelings aside and glanced down at her, “Sorry—“ Sawyer whispered, muttering a soft curse beneath his breath. This felt like the last thing he needed to dump on her, and yet he’d been holding it back for years. If not now, then when? “I’m not tryin’ to hurt you, babe,” he promised, lifting a hand to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear, “I just need to know.”

☀

There was no hiding from the man Remi was falling for, and there was no hiding the way her expression flickered like a lightbulb losing power. She was perhaps naïve to think that they could continue dancing around the topic and hopefully further away from it, but she knew that relationships were built on communication and their bubble of blissful ignorance was hurriedly coming to its end. Her guilt had immediately switched to embarrassment as her eyes cast downwards, her hands moving to pull the blanket tightly underneath her arms almost as if it offered the warmth of safety. Luckily for Remi, her cheeks had already been pinched a rosy hue from the cool evening air, and it masked the heat that raised upon them. Although her stomach lurched at his words -  made me wonder if any of it even meant anythin’. With a quiet sigh, she closed her eyes tight knowing that was all the confirmation she needed to know she had hurt him, all the while trying to protect herself.

“The night of your arrest, Jo rang me.” Remi began as she opened her eyes, almost her gaze refused to meet Sawyer’s just yet, and focused on her hands instead. “I picked her up from the side of the road where it all happened and... All I can remember is seeing so much blood. And then a couple days later, I was at work and I knew that Travis was being treated there. I don’t know why but I found myself outside his door.” Remi paused, her heart racing so fast it was almost jumping into her throat. She hadn’t even told Jo about the time she went to Travis’ room to see Sawyer’s anger for herself. It had been something she had locked away in her mind, a memory she had never wanted to resurface. “And I can still see him so vividly, even now. I can hear the sound of the machines and he was just... Lying there. And I couldn’t seem to understand how the Sawyer that I knew, the Sawyer who had picked me up from house parties when I was too drunk and purposefully went out of his way to make me smile could do that. But I really tried to understand, I tried to understand who you were and what this all meant. But I couldn’t-” finally, her gaze dared to meet his but it only caused her heart to rattle harder against her chest, her stomach doing somersaults as she tried to keep it at bay. “It was really fucking hard.” Remi confessed, and that was where the seed of her embarrassment lay. Because no matter how difficult she found her plight, it was nothing compared to Sawyer’s over the last five years. "But mostly I was scared, and I was hurting.” she felt her voice waver as she spoke, her throat stinging as she fiercely held onto it. “Because I was falling for a man who had been sentenced to ten years in prison and I didn’t know how I was supposed to do that. It wasn’t that it meant nothing to me, it meant everything, and that was terrifying. And I’m so sorry-” Remi shakily exhaled, her eyes falling downwards to quickly hide the tears beginning to well. “I wasn’t strong enough then and it’s been my biggest regret.”

♥

Jodie couldn’t help but look down because she knew exactly what Remi was thinking about. Sawyer was always careful until the night he wasn’t, when he damn near killed someone in the middle of the street. “We can’t,” she licked her lips and let out a deep sigh, “but we have to have a little faith in him too.” She had hoped that her brother was at least trying to work on his anger, his impulse control. As much as she should’ve known better with Travis, he should’ve known better than to do something so reckless and public. “I know he does, I know,” she nodded slowly, “I think we need to talk about it all but it means facing things that neither of us want to face. He still doesn’t know about, you know, the pregnancy.” Remi was the only one who knew, the only one Jodie had told. She didn’t even tell Laura, not with all the court shit that had been going on with Sawyer. “I testified, you know,” she cleared her throat, “when he was coming up for parole, I testified for him. You know, he wasn’t around to stop me from getting involved.” There was a small smile on her lips because they both knew that Sawyer took the plea deal to avoid anyone getting swept up in his situation.

☀

“I trust him, I do.” Remi was quick to add, not wanting Jo to think that she had any doubt in Sawyer. “I just don’t know if I trust that anger in him from making another appearance again.” she knew that it heavily relied on the right time, place, and circumstance, and Remi just hoped and prayed the three of them didn’t present themselves on a platter to the man. “There’s still things that he and I haven’t talked about.” Remi mentioned as she pursed her lips together, hoping that her confession would ease Jo’s mind a little. “Talking to him won’t be easy, but it’s also not impossible. But if you are going to talk about it, I think now is the time. He wants to fix things and he’ll be receptive to what you have to say. He’s been going to therapy so... He’s trying.” Remi offered her friend a small, warm smile. “And you know that I’m always here, for anything.” Jo was more than Sawyer’s sister, she was Remi’s friend throughout her childhood and teenage years. They had remained friends as they grew older and always managed to ground each other when it came to the club and the lifestyle it demanded. “Well I for one am glad that you testified.” Remi offered as her lips twitched into a small smile. Who knows, maybe it was Jo’s testimony that swayed the judge. “But unfortunately for Sawyer,” she inhaled through her teeth, “he needs to learn that he can’t protect you forever. You’re not that same baby sister you were when you guys were kids. He needs to let that ideology go so he can see the kind of woman you’ve become.”

He wanted to stay wrapped up in their little bubble, hidden away from the rest of the world with only the sound of their laughter echoing in the silence, but as the conversation shifted, he knew that the foothold he had in this reality was quickly slipping. For months, he’d been happily avoiding the subject of his arrest and all the atrocities that had come with it, but Sawyer had known that he wouldn’t be able to outrun it forever. Sighing softly as Remi’s question reached him, he tipped his head, nodding slightly, “Yeah,” he answered quietly, seeing no point in trying to lie about it. "Whatever happens out here directly impacts relationships inside,” Sawyer explained, lazily tracing the slope of her collarbone with his fingertips. "Guys from another crew apparently had some beef with the MC and wanted to send a message, caught me unprotected.” He left out the part about how it’d been meticulously orchestrated with the prison guards, who’d ensured Sawyer would be alone and exposed in that hallway at exactly the right moment. He didn’t mention how the whole thing had nearly killed him either— but Remi was smart, she was a nurse, and so Sawyer knew it would only take one look at the location of his scars to recognize just how dangerously close the blade had been to his heart. Feeling her head shift against his chest, Sawyer frowned at the apology that was just barely loud enough to puncture the silence that had fallen over them. “For what, darlin’?” He murmured as he reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers, “Hey— look at me, Rem.” Shaking his head, he raised their hands to his lips and trailed a few kisses along her knuckles, “Got nothin’ to be sorry about.”

☀

Remi didn’t know if it was better or worse that the incident was club related, either way it still left her feeling nauseated with a bitter sting in her throat. She tried to swallow back the waves of thick guilt, but it was constant and tumultuous. The only thing grounding her from her own spiral of thoughts was Sawyer’s voice, confessing his sobering truths. It was difficult to hear, and even more difficult to process, but Remi knew that if she was going to be a part of Sawyer’s life in such an intimate way, then she needed to meet his monsters lurking in the shadows. She smiled softly as Sawyer dotted kisses along her knuckles, noticing the juxtaposition of his actions and his words. “No but I do. I’m sorry because I wasn’t there, and I should’ve been.” Remi had known that all along, but she had done incredibly well at distracting herself from the overwhelming anxiety of not visiting Sawyer in prison. “I should’ve been there for you, supporting you and helping you-” she knew that her active presence in his life wouldn’t have changed his circumstances in prison, but maybe it would’ve helped him feel less alone and less isolated. “I know that I should’ve tried harder, and I’m trying to make up for that.” Remi confessed, squeezing her eyes shut with a gentle sigh.

“The only type of cheese that matters. If there’s a riot, I’d have to try and stop it. But if you’re offering, I’ll go on a riot. I mean, it’s American cheese.” Though he did wish they had American cheese. “I guess I could get a milkshake since I”m at a diner to begin with. It only feels fitting. Are you going inside? Cause then I’ll join you and get a milkshake.” He didn’t have a problem being alone by any means but if she was going in, he’d rather hang out with someone. 

☀

"So if I see on the news one day that there’s a cheese riot, then I’ll have to assume you’re the one leading it.” Remi laughed airily. “Although worryingly, I think you’d be able to rally up quite the following.” if the town’s chief deputy was pissed about something, then that would give cause for everyone else to follow suit. “I was going to get a milkshake too, c’mon-” Remi entered the diner and quickly found the two of them a booth. “How are things down at the station?” she wondered as her eyes perused over the menu, although she already knew she was going to order a strawberry milkshake. “Things with the Rogues seemed to have quietened down a bit,” although Remi wasn’t naïve enough to believe that things were fine now. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing, or if they’re rallying up for something big.” the thought was nauseating. 

∞

“Go bright and fun,” she pointed at some of the non-traditional stuff, the stuff that wasn’t like what you’d find in a grandma’s house, “You’re giving them a Christmas, Remi, it’ll be a good time.” She gave a small smile and then shook her shoulders, “Okay, that’s about as mushy as I can handle getting.” Kaya didn’t lack sentiment but her delivery of it might lack tact and warmth at times. “Oh, yeah,” there was no stopping the grin on her face, “Someone had to take over it and I’ve been working there for five years so I guess now I’m a business owner. It’s pretty awesome actually.” At Remi’s question, the brunette gave a small snort, “Still trying to figure that out but so far nothing.” She perked her brows playfully before giving a small sigh, “My mom was a freelance artist so I learned a lot from her, turned it into a career when I was eighteen.”

☀

“Bright and fun, okay.” Remi nodded with assurance, a sudden flash of focus upon her brow. “Well good for you.” she turned to Kaya with a wide smile. “We don’t often get good news here in Olympus so, it’s nice to celebrate the small things.” although she was sure becoming a business owner was no small feat. “At least you’ll always have a steady stream of customers since bikers and tattoos always seem to come hand in hand.” she chuckled lightly. “What came first? The tattooing or the club?” Remi found herself wondering aloud out of general curiosity. She was still trying to figure out just who Kaya was, and she seemed like a woman who was always so certain of who she was - a trait that Remi certainly was envious of. 

➖

“NOT an expert or anything but I hear the girls at the club talk a lot.” The strip club, not the club house but it didn’t really matter, did it? If he could go the rest of his life without seeing his ex-girlfriend, he felt that he’d probably be better off. Not that there were any lingering feelings but because he was often left more tired than anything. “Christmas tree should probably be the main decoration but since the space is bigger, I’d say you can go up to fifteen.” Sounded like an accurate number but he didn’t know how big Remi’s space was or even where she lived. “You good with all the decoration advice?”

☀

"Oh, right.” Remi popped her lips together as she turned to look at the decorations again. She could only assume he was talking about the sirens who lingered around the clubhouse like leeches - and Remi certainly wasn’t their biggest fan. “I’m surprised they talk about more than just which club members they’ve fucked.” she jabbed, rolling her eyes along with her words. She leaned down to grab some cheaper yet cute decorations and placed them in her basket. “Yeah, I’m all good, thanks. When the kids tell me how I did a good job, I’ll tell them I have you to thank.” Remi joked lightly.

–

Tracing lazy patterns on her shoulder as she spoke, Sawyer grinned wide, “Well, you know me, baby— I gotta keep ya on your toes, or at least keep ‘em curled,” he pointed out, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth to help try and fight off his laughter as he reached down to give her side a playful squeeze. Blowing out a contented breath as Remi settled in against his side and chased a trail of kisses across his heated skin, Sawyer sank deeper into the pillows, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I like the sound of that,” he murmured, tipping his head to the side so that could watch her. He didn’t know that he’d ever get used to the image in front of him, or the feel of her lips against his skin, her body beneath his fingertips. His thoughts seemed to stall, however, the moment Remi’s movements did, because he knew what had snagged her. When he’d left her house that fateful morning five years ago, the jagged scars she was tracing hadn’t been there. Over the last few months of them sleeping together, he’d wondered if and when the subject would come up, but he was no better prepared to talk about them now than he was the day he’d gotten those scars. Swallowing hard as he glanced down and met her gaze, Sawyer frowned softly, “Ya really wanna know?” Licking his lips, he leaned his head back and stared up at the stars overhead as he debated on his answer. Sawyer had yet to figure out how to talk about what had happened, but he couldn’t lie to Remi. He hadn’t been able to lie to Kit either, but he could keep it brief and spare her from the gory details the same way he’d spared his best friend. “Happened while I was inside,” he began, clearing his throat, “Got jumped by a few guys in a back hallway. Never saw ‘em comin’.”

☀

“You are so full of yourself.” the autumn evening was suddenly interrupted by Remi’s laughter as she wriggled her body to gently jam her elbow into his side. Quickly though she resumed her position tightly against Sawyer, burrowing under the comfort and security of the blankets. Their conversation had suddenly turned sobering, and those bubbling giggles were soon silenced by Remi’s need for answers. Deep down, she knew. Of course she knew, but part of her wondered if they were just scars that she had been too busy to notice before. Maybe they were from an injury from Sawyer’s childhood, or maybe Remi was just being foolishly naïve. As she watched him watching the stars, she swallowed hard, readying herself for what was the inevitable truth. Although his words still stung as harshly as she had expected, and Remi suddenly felt guilty for even asking. “Was it... Was it club related?” she heard herself asking, and pleading that it wasn’t. She didn’t need another reason to hate the club. Her mind began to spiral, thinking of all the things he had suffered and how she hadn’t been there for any of it. Remi had actively made that decision to not be there, and in her shame, she turned away, resting her cheek upon Sawyer’s chest. “Sawyer, I’m sorry...” her confession was quiet, her hand moving to rest upon the scars that stood stark against his skin.

♥

“Oh, god, ew,” she shook her head, “I thought dealing with the sugar high kids would be bad but that sounds awful.” Thank goodness that Jodie opted for elementary level teaching but it doesn’t stop some really gross fathers from looking her up and down at times. “Oh,” the blonde gave a small chuckle, “So you two kids finally worked it all out, huh?” You’d have to be blind to have not seen this coming from a mile away. She knew from the first time she Sawyer with that puppy dog look in his eyes that Remi would be the one to actually get him to settle down. “We, uh, haven’t really talked much,” Jodie admitted shyly, “But he’s always been crazy about you, Remi.” The worry over him still being part of the club while on parole was one shared by both women. As much as she thought of the club as an extended family, she did want her brother to get a little more out of life. All the things he denied himself because he was too focused on taking care of her. “He is careful, you know?” she brushed some hair behind her ear, “The last thing he wants is to go back.”

☀

“I just get to deal with the high kids instead.” Remi sighed gently with a roll of her eyes. Unfortunately in a small town like Olympus, the teenagers there often felt like they had nothing else to do other than get high - much to Remi’s annoyance. “We have, finally.” she laughed airily, still unable to wipe the stupid grin from her lips. Her smile seemed to have looked that way ever since Sawyer had been released from prison, making Remi realise just how much she had missed having him around. “I know he is but,” the words teetered on the edge of her lips. Don’t make me say it. “He was careful before, until-...” her eyes suddenly cast downwards to her glass of wine. Until he snapped. “How are we supposed to know that won’t happen again?” Remi wouldn’t dare voice her concerns to Sawyer, but she knew, or at least hoped Jodie would understand why she felt the way she did. It was a terrifying and sobering thought, and one that Remi tirelessly fought away. “I know that things between you and Sawyer are... Difficult at the moment. But he cares about you Jo, so much.” Remi wasn’t stupid, she could see how the shift in their relationship had been effecting the two of them. “You both just need a little time to readjust, and I promise you, things will heal.” she leaned forwards, squeezing her friend’s hand gently. 

The first of a new month after a holiday seemed to cause immediate focus from her students on an undecorated classroom. Decorating her classroom for and with her students had become one of Tessa’s favourite parts of her job. It was the disappointment from almost half of her students called her out on the remnants of Halloween decorations on November 1st that landed her in the holiday decorations aisle. “Rem…” She was beyond happy to see her cousin - it had been uncomfortably long since she had last seen her, and they had a lot to catch up on. “You’re allowed to transition decorations as soon as you start hearing Mariah on the radio. You are spiraling.” Tessa reached forward and grabbed a few decorations, tossing them into her cart. “Just grab a bunch of stuff…I mean that’s what I do. Kids like anything festive. You could print a massive poop emoji and they’d want it front and centre. The bar is low. Speaking of holidays, I’m gonna need you to come to my parent’s place for Christmas.”

☀

“I know, I know.” Remi followed suit and haphazardly grabbed handfuls of brightly coloured decorations, telling herself that at least it was a start. Maybe something would strike up some inspiration. “I just know spending Christmas in a hospital already makes it their worst Christmas ever, so I just want to be able to cheer them up. Even if it is with a massive poop emoji,” she chuckled gently. “Which, by the way, you might be onto something there. If I decorate it with a Christmas hat and tinsel, I’d instantly become their favourite nurse.” Remi laughed airily, rolling her eyes. “You need me to save you from your parents, huh? I can do that.” truthfully Remi had been feeling somewhat lonely since her sister had left town, it almost felt as if she had been missing a limb. “It’ll probably just be me, James, and Nate this year anyway. I’ll need you to save me from them.” she chuckled. The duo were quite troublesome, especially when they were together.

∞

Barely two weeks ago the aisle she was looking at was filled with cheesy Halloween decorations. Man, they wasted absolutely no time in ushering in the merry feeling of commercialization. She noticed Remi staring at some of the decorations and when she started spewing out questions about them, Kaya’s head tilted back a little bit. “Damn girl,” she walked over and looked at the stuff Remi was looking at, “You really think the kids would hate any of this?” Kaya would not know, kids were not really her thing. “Maybe you should just have some fun with it, you know?”

☀

“No but... I just really want them to have a good time.” Remi pursed her lips together with a gentle frown as she turned to look at the Christmas decorations again. Perhaps just was just simply placing too much pressure on herself, but she knew spending Christmas in a hospital was bad enough, they didn’t need terrible decorations on top of that. “Hey, so I heard you’re the new proud owner of Killer Ink.” she turned to look at Kaya with a smile. “So you can kickbox and tattoo? What can’t you do?” Remi joked playfully. 

Location: Open field, a few miles outside of town

With: @remicastillo​

“Goddamn, we’re good at that,” Sawyer laughed a bit breathlessly as he settled back down beside Remi on their makeshift bed of pillows and blankets smushed together in the bed of his truck. Chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath, the biker ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it back and away from his sweaty forehead. He fumbled around for a sheet as the chilly November air nipped at his skin, but the way his body trembled couldn’t be blamed on the breeze. Slipping an arm around Remi, he pressed in close, his grin nearly turning wicked as he dragged the sheet up over them. Admittedly, when he’d first started pressing kisses to her neck earlier that night, he’d half-expected her not to go along with it, but way out here in the middle of nowhere, there was no one to hide from, and Sawyer didn’t care if the moon knew their secrets. “Wasn’t quite what ya were expectin’ outta date night, was it?” he asked with a laugh, fingertips ghosting over the trail of lovebites he’d peppered along the inside of her thigh. He could take her out and show her off anywhere at any time, but tonight, he’d wanted something solely for them. “Just wanted ya all to m’self tonight,” he murmured, lifting a hand to her cheek, “Is that alright?”

☀

The cool night air was a welcome embrace as Remi stared up at the stars dotted in the deep evening sky, an airily dumbstruck smile tugging at her cheeks. It felt freeing, almost, to be out in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but Sawyer’s voice to ease her mind and his body warmth to keep her company. As he tucked his arm underneath her, Remi rolled onto her side, her breath still hitching in her lungs slightly. She shimmied closer to him as she burrowed under the sheet, her own arm hooking around his waist. “To be honest, I still haven’t learnt yet what to expect from date nights with you.” Remi chuckled gently. Her head had been resting upon his chest but she lifted it up so she could look up at Sawyer. “You can have me to yourself as much as you like.” she hummed as she haphazardly trailed lazy kisses along his chest, until she stopped, lingering over one particular spot. A quiet frown pressed her eyebrows down slightly, her hand sneaking up from the blanket to delicately trace the scar. Her hand moved downwards, noticing another, and that was when the frown deepened. They weren’t there before, Remi would’ve noticed, surely? “Hey,” her voice was soft as her eyes drifted upwards to meet Sawyer’s. “Where did you get these?”

Open

Outside of Little Dove Diner

Matt had an hour to get food and of course the diner was a staple in his life considering that was like only one around. He got the same thing virtually every time he went, a grilled cheese with a pickle on the side. But today they had run out of the cheese he used, which left him a little too stunned to stay inside. Instead, he went out for a smoke, something he did when he was stressed. “If you’re planning on going in there and getting a grilled cheese, they’re out of American cheese.” He tried to sound casual about it, obviously not wanting the other person to pick up on the fact that he was stressed. “Please tell me you know of other good options on the menu.” 

☀

Remi’s relationship with the chief deputy was a strained one to say the least. He had been the officer to arrest Sawyer, and then three years later he had been the man Remi had made a pact with. Perhaps in hindsight it probably hadn’t been the best idea to make a deal with the devil, so to speak, but her emotions had gotten the better of her. She had wanted answers, and she knew Matt could’ve provided them for her. “They’re out of American cheese?” Remi questioned as she approached him. “I’m surprised there isn’t a riot. Or is that what the smoking is trying to avoid?” she teased jokingly. “They do pretty good burgers here... Although they require cheese.” Remi drifted off as she frowned gently. “Oh, their hotdogs are good. Or milkshakes.”

–

Barking out a warm laugh, Sawyer shot her an incredulous look as she tried to justify all the frogs she’d kissed over the years, “Ohhh, just makin’ up the rules as ya go, aren’t ya?” Sawyer shook his head, his wide grin never fading from view as he took another sip of his beer. He coughed, nearly choking on his drink as she hurled her accusation at him, but it wasn’t like he could put up a fight— outrageously horny was putting it mildly. Another laugh stuttered past his lips, “Last time I checked, me bein’ outrageously horny has been workin’ out pretty well for you lately, so I don’t wanna hear it,” he teased, shooting her a wink and one of his usual crooked smiles. “Yeah? I should get some sort of award for puttin’ up with ya for that long,” Sawyer whistled low, managing to hold a serious expression for only half a heartbeat before warm laughter broke it apart. If anything, Remi had been the one putting up with him for so long, not the other way around. Sawyer shrugged his shoulders, lips twisting into an innocent smile, because buying her drinks when she was underage was probably the mildest sin on the list of all that he’d committed, "Hey, I never claimed to be a good influence.”

All of this was uncharted territory for Sawyer. He didn’t date, he didn’t do romance— hell, he’d never cared about anything more than a night at a time. But all of that had changed five years ago, and after missing out on his chance to see where it could lead, Sawyer was doing everything he could to try and make up for it now. He couldn’t help the way his breath suddenly stilled in his throat though as he waited for her answer. Inwardly, he couldn’t shake that soft, insecure voice in the back of his head telling him that he’d been reading everything wrong and that this was just some fluke. But as her answer reached him, Sawyer unleashed the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and nodded, a warm smile slowly spreading across his face, “Good.” As she turned the question around on him, Sawyer couldn’t help the breathless chuckle that left him, “Yeah, darlin’. We got a good thing goin’.” Swaying gently to the lazy country tune humming through the speakers, he raised their hands to his lips and pressed a kiss against her knuckles, “Let’s see where it goes.” Sawyer eased in, his lips ghosting against hers, almost daring her to kiss him, until he pulled back suddenly, a sly smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, “You should know I’m a prude on the first date, though,” Sawyer informed her, his grin stretching wider. He was clearly making shit up as he went along, considering this was the first date he’d ever been on and one thing he’d never been accused of was being a prude. Leaning into her again, Sawyer rested his forehead against hers, the tip of his nose nuzzling into her cheek, "You’ll be lucky if ya even get a kiss tonight, Castillo.”

☀

“Yeah,” Remi replied matter-of-factly with an amused smile. “I’m afraid you can only ever paint me in a good light otherwise your horny ass will stay exactly that.” she dared with a chuckle -  although truthfully, one look from Sawyer was all it took for Remi to act against her words. She was well aware that having flaws were what made everyone human, they gave character and charm. But she also knew that when Sawyer looked at her, he saw a version of Remi that she only wished she could live up to. That version of Remi held no flaws, but only the stars and the moon and everything else that was beautiful. His next words caused her to knock her head back with laughter. “God damnit okay, you’ve got me there.” Remi confessed as she shook her head at him, a smile almost permanently fixed upon her lips as she pointed her index finger at Sawyer. “Putting up with me, huh? Is that why you tried so many times to kiss me?” her eyes narrowed and her head quirked to the side as she playfully challenged him. Remi would’ve been a lot more receptive to his advances had she not somewhat disliked him at the time. Her rush of teenage hormones and his constant flow of sirens hadn’t exactly helped the two of them. But they were like a fruit, waiting to ripen. Had they given into temptation and taken a bite, what they would have been left with would have been bitter and full of regrets. 

For all Remi knew, the music could have stopped and the bar could have emptied while she waited with baited breath for Sawyer’s answer. In that short moment of pained anticipation, her thoughts were reeling with all the ways she brush it off if Sawyer turned her down. It wouldn’t be the first time she had made herself a fool for a man with a patch. But his confession left her with no simple way to mask her relief as her smile grew into a wide grin, knowing full well her cheeks had flushed pink. “Let’s see where it goes.” Remi agreed as Sawyer pressed a kiss against her knuckles. Her eyes watched him with pure delight, like she was too scared to even blink in case she missed something. “Oh now you’re a prude?” she pulled back slightly, her eyebrows raising at him. “You have terrible timing.” Remi teased with a gentle chuckle. She pressed herself closer to Sawyer again, her hand coming to stroke the nape of his neck and the other resting upon his chest. “I’ve been waiting for this kiss for five years, I’ll get it one way or another.” Remi reminded him with soft words. And when I do, she thought to herself, this time I won’t let go.

➖

ANDRES was aiming to get some last minute decorations that were on sale. He’d noticed that some kids missed his house during halloween because he only had one lame pumpkin outside until he’d stood at the end of the street with a box of chips and started to hand some out. He was hoping to get in and out and… frankly not to see Remi.. However, she spoke and before he knew it, he was turning towards her. “Definitely too early.” He hummed and then looked at all the selection. “Christmas lights are a must and I’d say one other decoration. The max is probably five types of different decorations outside. Three is a good middle ground.” He spoke as if he knew this shit but the truth was that he was talking out of his ass.

☀

"I didn’t realise you were so into Christmas decorations.” Remi teased gently as she turned to look at Andres. Their interactions were becoming fewer and fewer, and if Remi remembered correctly, the last time she had spoken to him, she had been crying over Seth. Well that was embarrassing. “Well what about inside? Does the Christmas tree count as a decoration or is that like, a staple must-have?” Remi poked with a warm smile. There was a faint memory somewhere of Andres helping her to put out her Christmas decorations, but it seemed to far away now, and so foreign that the man stood beside her almost felt like a stranger now.