It didnât surprise him to learn that Jodie had reached out to Remi that night. He wasnât the only Graves whoâd learned to lean on her and the mere thought roused a soft smile to his lips. It brought him comfort, knowing that his sister had had someone to turn to when he couldnât be there. But the more Remi spoke about what she saw, the quicker Sawyerâs smile faded, soon to be replaced by some sour mix of both shock and shame. Horrified, he slowly sat up, rife with the need to move around and shake off the discomfort settling on his shoulders. âJesus Christ,â he whispered, steepling his hands together over his nose and mouth. âIâm sorry ya had to see that.â Cursing softly to himself, Sawyer pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, âYou must think Iâm a fuckinâ monster,â he muttered, lips curving into a bitter smile. At the time, he hadnât thought about just how far his sins could reachâ all the people they could touchâ but heâd never wanted Jodie or Remi to see what heâd done. But that was who he was, and Sawyer needed her to know that he would always leap to protect the people he loved, no matter what that looked like or how bloody it got. Heâd never quite figured out how to make that part of himself lay down and die. Truthfully, he didnât think he could. Warmth stung his eyes but he quickly blinked it away and glanced over at her, âI wouldâve done the same for you, Rem. Still would.â
Was he stupid to think this could work? As she spoke, his gaze flickered between the two of them, as if mentally tallying up all the ways he could fuck this up. She was a nurse and he was a career criminal. But more than that, Remi was goodâ in all the ways that Sawyer never could be. His hands were far too stained for that. But that was who he was at his core, who the patch on his back demanded that he be. He didnât think he could change even if he wanted to. And yet, they kept landing in each otherâs orbit time and time againâ so much that Sawyer wanted to think that they were supposed to be there. Swallowing thickly, he twisted to eye her a bit better and lifted a brow. Sheâd been falling for him? Sawyer blinked, unsure that heâd heard her correctly. It was the confirmation heâd been subconsciously longing to hear for a while nowâ that what happened between them five years ago hadnât been some fluke, that there had been more to it. Exhaling a shaky breath, he pocketed the information and leaned back, settling against the pile of pillows and blankets once more. âCâmere, Remi,â he murmured when he couldnât listen any longer. âI donât want ya to be sorry, or have regrets,â he pressed, reaching out to try and tug her into him again, âNot over me, babe.â Sheâd had far more important things to worry about. Easing out a long sigh, he glanced over at her, a hint of his usual lopsided grin threatening at one corner of his mouth, âI wanted to be so angry at ya,â he admitted with a laugh, amused by how stupid his plan to get over her had been, âI thought that maybe if I was angry, it wouldnât hurt as much, or maybe Iâd be able to figure out a way to stop thinkinâ about ya.â Rolling his eyes, Sawyer scoffed and smiled sheepishly, "Didnât work.â He thought that part was obvious, considering just how quickly heâd crammed himself back into her life once heâd been released. âIt ainât fair for me to lay all the blame at your feet though,â he continued, shrugging his shoulders, "I never called yaâ and I shoulda. But,â He paused, lips pressing into a thin line. The list of things Sawyer wanted to tell Remi felt endless, but heâd never really had a good starting point. Until now. Clearing his throat, he hesitated for a moment, knowing if he didnât tell her now he likely never would, âI promised your old man that I wouldnât.â
Remiâs frown dipped and weaved deeper as she watched Sawyer try to shake the clear discomfort from knowing that she had seen all the damage he had done to Travis. âNo.â she was quick to correct him, her voice barely just above a whisper as her throat still restrained from allowing herself to grow more upset. âFor a while, I didnât know what to think.â Remi confessed, knowing that it had taken her five years of pretending everything was okay and that she had moved on. It had taken her a long time, but she had come to terms with Sawyerâs actions, just as Jodie did. The two women were lucky in that they had each other to lean on for support, and encouragement to move forwards. âI donât think youâre a monster.â Remi reiterated as her hand reached for his, her fingers curling and resting gently between his knuckles as if they had found a home there. âI think youâre a man who feels so intensely and loves so passionately that when something or someone dares to even encroach on the things that you love, your instinct is to protect them. Just like you protected Jodie for all those years. You react the only way you know how. Instead, all of that intensity is driven in the opposite direction and - it takes over.â Remiâs shoulders sunk lower as she exhaled slowly, knowing that this wasnât exactly how she had imagined their date night would go. âI would never ask you to change. All I ask is that you try and stay away from prison.â her lips curled into a half-hearted smile.
Without even realising it, she had released a sigh of relief as Sawyer pulled her closer again. Their conversation felt as if it had been forcing a wedge between them, pushing them apart. But they ignored the tides and pulled to one another again, almost instinctively. Remi had settled beside him again with ease, her arm curling around his waist as she rest her head upon his chest, his heart beat almost like a gentle melody. âI just want us to be okay.â she half pleaded half asked as she tilted her head upwards to look at him. âWell they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.â Remi teased gently, a smile finally warming her cheeks. That had certainly been the case for her anyway, no matter how hard she tried to fight it by fooling herself into other relationships. Although the sudden mention of her father caused her smile to drop instantly, a shiver running along her spine. âMy dad?â she repeated, the confusion contorting her voice. âWhy would you promise him that? When did you-â Remiâs frown burrowed deeper as she stumbled over her words, her mind trying to make sense of what he was telling her. Clearly her father had a part to play in all of this, but what part? And why? Did he know something that she didnât? Did he know something that Sawyer didnât know? She swallowed hard and blinked furiously, trying to stop her mind from spinning. âWhat do you mean you promised him? Did he make you? Sawyer-â Remi breathed out shakily, knowing that she was getting way too ahead of herself