Loving The White Liar

guys, he sick again hoft! what is wrong with his body?!! omygod, im tired being ignored. i just enjoyed a week with his love, and attention. then he got sick, again. what happened.... God r u testing me again?? or is this kinda punishment for me????? please, make it stop. it hurts and hard....

the most hurt when he sicks is... i cant ask his brother when he did not reply my message. like i deserve for news about him, does he get in to the hospital? or is he just take a loooong sleep. or what.. i know he is sick, but can he at least think about me??? comeon he is a boy with a girlfriend, not a single boy. he cant just leave his phone like this!!! 

ive called him a thousand times, spam his whatsapp. and i dont get reply/call back... man what kind of torture is thisssss!! please, make it stop. this is just hard :(((( for once in a time i want to be loved and cared by him, not always get ignored like this.

First of all, I am sorry I am so obsessed with gifs, so here’s the gifsss lolol

guys, even tho he is annoying as hell, and sometimes he does something that makes me hate him more, i still can say that i am lucky to have him in my life. even, he got this adhd problem, and mostly adhd behaviour cause problems in our relationship.

I AM SO DAMN LUCKY. this guy came in to my life 2 years ago, he was so damage. he got suspended from his uni, he got expelled form his major from computer science to economic. why did i willing to be his gf? lol im so stupid. but no regret!!! seriously, i mean it. he changed me to become a better person, he told me what is wrong what is right. he guided me. and maybe he protected me too hehe not sure bout this, because he is kinda an ignorance boy.

so guys, did u kno dat.... im going to go through long distance relationship................. just imagine adhd+ldr=....... chaos lol. So, if my bf visa application succeed, we will go thru this shit on this August, but if its not, on September, which is I am the one who go to Nottingham, UK. i am taking my master degree there, and I REALLY HOPE that my bf visa application will success, and he can continue and graduate soon from Minnesota aamiin!!

So...... this relationship.... if its success, if we succeed.. it would be a miracle, and if its not i will stop writing on this blog haha.

we aware that LDR itself is already hard, and tough. and i am so lucky to have this situation with my beloved adhd bf -__________- I have no idea that my love life would be so..... pathetic -_-

I met this boy in high school. He is not my type, at that time. Plus he already had a girlfriend. He did not notice me, so did I. Until he moved to the United State. Here is when everything became so complicated between me and his new girlfriend, which was my good friend.

They broke up, and my friend blamed me. She thought I liked him, but i was not. because these kids were fighting all the fucking times, and both of them always updated me with their problem, and i became so intense did skype-ing with my friend and him.

until in 2014,  he came to my hometown. He told me that he liked me, I like him too, because he has changed a lot, physically. to be honest, i don't know him at all, we never talked when we were in high school.

He got suspended from his university, I guess it is because the ADHD, he too focused on his ex-girlfriend (this is another girl he met in university) and he forgot his obligation to study. at that time, he already told me about he has ADHD. but i did not take it seriously, i was so unfamiliar with this disorder. Until we started dating on July 2015. this ADHD things is serious issue in our relationship. After the first month, he has changed a lot, he ignored me and that makes feel lonely, unwanted, unlove, and these kind of feelings is really.... something, i can describe the sadness. man, this is hard and hurt. he started lie to me about the small things, when i asked him why he do that. he said, it makes him comfortable, and feel accepted in the society. yes, this is another problem for those people with ADHD. they are too much worried about something.

Now is May 2016 and this shit is real, we fought all the time. It is not only the ADHD but also his life issues. he is trying to get his ass back to the United State, and he has no interest at all in this relationship, and i am the one who struggle to make this relationship better, and ofcourse, understand him better. this is hard, but things get easier and brighter too. dont loose hopes, keep believing. and this is my story..