student of science

got that dog in me and mitski has been showing financial interest in it

Honestly just want all my women of color to know that if you’re a woman of color, and you’re in your 20s, this is such an interesting time to be in… not only are you fighting expectations society imposed on women as a whole, but you are also battling with expectations that might have been instilled in you from your family. This is doubly true for children of immigrants. Like you will be fighting to actualize yourself against many, many groups of people who will try to staunchly tell you how it should be. And that’s why it’s so important to have a very secure sense of self. Like it’s important to know what’s in your heart of hearts. Otherwise it will be so easy to cling on to these expectations, even if you don’t consciously realize you’re doing it!!

I am basking in clarity. I don't understand anything. I love physical chemistry. I'm too stupid for physical chemistry. I am making great progress in my spectroscopy studies. I will never be a good spectroscopist. What the fuck is a unit tensor operator.

I had a dream that people started using the 🪷 emoji as a reaction and it was universally understood to mean “kill [] and you will be reincarnated as a lotus blossom.” Like someone would talk about going to the White House and people would spam 🪷🪷🪷 in the replies, and everyone just knew without having to be told that that meant “hey you should assassinate the president.”

I love being a girl like it’s just me in my milky pink nails w my vanilla lip gloss on shadowing a 6’2 jock ortho surgeon before my piano class this afternoon then planning a pilates class w my new bestie then studying for the hardest test in the country then starting my chemistry masters like I always wanted under my fav PI while simultaneously applying for med school and saving up sm money to travel like a man can never ruin any of this

Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living

So tempting to keep embarking on the same self destructive cycle over & over & over again . But at some point you have to put ur foot down w ur own behaviors & be the thing that truly saves u