I can live alone, if self-respect and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure, born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.

WHY MUST SHE BE KEPT? AND WHY IN THIS PLACE SHE MUST BE KEPT? AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF YOU ARE NOT ASKED? AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF YOU ARE NOT ANSWERED? AND WHAT IS IT TO SEE AND TO KNOW, BUT TO BE TOLD YOU HAVE NOT SEEN. YOU HAVE NOT KNOWN. AND WHY IS HER TONGUE CUT OUT? AND WHY IS HER DEATH PROLONGED AND WHEN WILL IT STOP AND WHO WILL STOP IT? AND WHY MUST THEY, MUST WE, MUST I, MUST HE, MUST THEY, AS THE MILLENNIA, UNFOLD? WHY THE GIRL CURLED? WHY HER EYES LOWERED? WHY ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD? WHY LIMP IN THE STRAW? I AM THE GIRL! I AM THE GOD! I AM THE VOICE! I AM THE SONG! I AM THE NIGHT AND I CAN ANSWER! I CAN ARRANGE IT! I CAN SAY RISE, AND I CAN SPEAK! AND I AM HER! AND I AM SHE! AND I, I, I, I AM THE ANSWER! 

Transactional: everything has to be exactly 50/50 all the time, pay me back for the £5 sandwich or buy me something worth exactly £5, I refuse to make an effort for you if there’s nothing in it for me

And so you waited for death in order to wake up…