mvmckinnon:
Marlene was always taken aback, somehow, by Regulusâ blunt and often harsh tone, no matter how many times they heard it. They supposed, although they had no evidence to support the idea, that it was their differences in upbringing that made them so obviously opposed in so many ways⌠He was hard in all the same ways they were too soft, he rejected the very comforts they had always relied on from their family and from others⌠They didnât know how to imagine his parents, but they couldnât picture them as the kind and loving type that their own had been, especially not after Siriusâ account of things. And they couldnât help but wonder how different Regulus would be if heâd escaped them like his sibling had, or if heâd been treated with a little more softness when he was young. Marlene tried their best to live as their own parents had taught them, but what good was it now, when faced with someone who rejected all the love and care they tried to give him?
But, that wasnât entirely true either⌠just because he didnât return their careful touches and their open sympathy didnât mean he didnât want or need to be looked after⌠Heâd stayed this long, after all⌠there had to be something he was getting out of all this besides the security⌠But then again, perhaps he stayed simply because he truly had nowhere else to go⌠Marlene couldnât pretend to know his true intentions or feelings, and it was clear that he withheld them on purpose. Whatever was in his head, it wasnât something he wanted them to know. And it hurt, in a way, that after all this time there was still something in them that he didnât trust⌠that heâd rather sit there in silence burying any apparent emotional reaction to what they said, even when it was about people he cared about, or had, once upon a timeâŚ
The weight in the pit of their stomach solidified and dropped as they sat there and watched him not eating. The energy between them had always been⌠nervous at best, but this was something else⌠There were needles in the air, electric and with a slightly charred smell⌠It reminded Marlene of missions with the Order at night, when the only sign they had of any action taking place was that same smell and the faint glow of spells cutting through the darkness. It was the distinct ambiance of discomfort and worry, they had felt it often enough to know for certain. What they werenât sure of was whose discomfort they were feeling, although looking at Regulus for another long moment, they managed to piece it together. They got up abruptly and then, as if looking for an excuse, they crossed back to the kitchen to retrieve their coffee which theyâd left on the counter. When they returned, they sat in the chair nearby rather than next to him on the couch, and sat their untouched plate in their lap. Taking a deep drink, they watched him for a moment, to see if some kind of release of tension occurred, to see if they really were the problem here⌠and then they finally ate some of their breakfast, as nonchalantly as possible, although they didnât feel hungry anymore in the slightest.
Their stomach flopped at his question, unsettling the food they had just swallowed and making them regret ever making it, ever putting it on a plate for Regulus to not eat, and for them to gag over at the slightest provocation. They managed to finish chewing without incident, but that particular bite went down hard, and they had to chase it down with another swig of coffee before answering. And perhaps they needed that time as well, to consider his question, and the potential consequences of what helping him would mean⌠They could tell he wanted out, that he wanted to be free of this place just as he had for all the years heâd been captive here, but Marlene couldnât bring themself to ask if that was what he wanted their help with⌠How could they, when it would mean giving up everything they had lived for, for the past ten years?
âOf course,â they said instead, keeping their voice quiet in the hopes that he wouldnât hear how it wavered. âI want to do anything I can to help you, Regulus⌠What do you need?â They were almost frightened to hear the answer, couldnât quite chase their pulse back down to a normal level now that the proverbial axe seemed about to fallâŚ
He could tell they were upset, as he said it, and he let out a quiet, resigned sigh when they reacted by standing, moving away, making physical distance between themself and him, like they needed literal, physical space in order to handle whatever came next. He couldnât blame them, and he understood -- after this many years sharing their space, relying on them, he understood Marleneâs needs and reactions almost instinctively, as much as he couldnât intellectualize them. Heâd never been the type to run away from things, and the one time he had, it had led him to this-- but Marlene ran away the second they started to lose control, always did, like a bomb trying to minimize the collateral damage they might cause if something went wrong.Â
It was why there was still space, between them, even after ten years. It was why heâd withdrawn quickly when they risked things getting complicated: he couldnât afford for Marlene to feel like they needed to make space between themself and him, not when they were his only lifeline, the only reason he was still alive, still hidden, still had somewhere to go where he wouldnât be found by any of the myriad disparate groups that wanted him dead for any variety of reasons, Sirius or the Death Eaters or Evansâ administration.
But he couldnât live this way forever, tiptoeing around Marlene at the expense of his own opportunity to be something, to make something, to have a life outside the walls that had trapped him for ten years.Â
And besides, if this one favor worked, if he could play his cards right, he wouldnât need their protection for much longer.
   âI need an audience with the Minister,â he said, cutting to the chase, looking at them, really looking at them, as he said it, rather than avoiding eye contact like they might have liked him to do. He needed them to understand that he was serious, and that he wouldnât be persuaded otherwise.Â
He would go in disguise, he could reassure them of that. Not reveal his identity until heâd gotten himself a guarantee of safety -- not just safety, but protection from whatever Death Eaters remained, from Sirius...
But he had the one card Lily bloody Evans didnât know to account for, the one thing she had no idea was in play. And he would have been a fool, now, not to use it, not when it might mean his freedom.













