i don’t want to feel small anymore, i know you’re tired but you change so quick. i’m so scared, i just pray you won’t lose your love for me.

i’m so in love with you <3

i’m so close to figuring it out almost all the pieces make sense. i think i’ll ignore the mean voices that remind me everytime u didn’t want me, because i know you’re sorry just like i’m sorry too. we deserve love, i only hope you still love this me.

u love me ?

what’s wrong with me? why am i like this? we’re so messy, we’re so mean. why do we pretend? which thing is it that we’re actually pretending? i’m so sad, i’m so scared. i’m okay, i’m okay. i’m okay!

why didn’t u want me before? how come u want me now? i’m so confused and i’m trying so hard but i’m just so lost and i’m not doing good and i miss you so much. but why didn’t u want me before?

i’m reading again and i drink tea twice a day and make myself go on walks. but ur not here so none of it feels that good. but if u were here, would u mine? would u still love me? can u bathe in the rain and trees with me?

u still have to want me (present) because i still want u (present) and we’re going to figure this out (future) once we get over this mess (present & past).

it’s all in my head, u would have me if u would’ve wanted me. i’m sorry i say too much. i don’t know what i’m doing.

i’m here you’re gone i’m here you’re gone i’m here you’re gone

i think about you all the time, more than i’d care to admit, enough to make me an awful person. but you’re always on my mind and everything reminds me of you, and i so selfishly hope you only think of me just as much. i’m so miserable without you and i’m drowning myself in the most horrid things, and you’re living your life and making your own mistakes and everything’s so fucking weird. but somehow our paths arent connected and we’re a whole star split in two. so i’ll spend the rest of my days dreaming of you and what was, because that’s all there really left.

four years ago i was crying to a friend abt you, 3 years ago i was watching sunsets with you, 2 years ago i swear i couldn’t ever forgive you, a year ago we were happy, this year i’m trying to convince myself just because everything reminds me of you doesn’t mean it has to be a sign.