RiRasha

I love yuri, do you gays and gayettes have some yuri anime and manga recommendations? I need some new ones :D tyy in advance sweet thingss

They’re breath feels hot on my neck, their every movement appreciating my body, loving my soul

“I’m what you desire~”

They’re hands… clasp around my wrists, as they gently kiss the back of my head. Cradling me

“This is weird, why are you doing this?? You’re a part of me aren’t you just a hallucination?? Isn’t this narcissistic, strange???

The press their hand against my head, gently patting it, applying the slightest bit of pressure as if they’re afraid to hurt me like the others

“You deserve so much better… don’t you understand that? You are so much better than this…”

Seemingly ignoring my questions… they reassure me instead

“You’ve let yourself be used, harmed, abandoned, burdened, for too long… I need to show you what true romance is, since you skimpily can’t fathom the idea of respect”

“I don’t deserve this kind of love, I’ve hurt so many, ran from so much. I keep running from everything”

Her hands move from my head to my waist, holding me closely as if those words harmed her… hurt her…

“The only person you’ve been hurting is yourself… you avoid control out of fear of hurting everyone around you, you hate the idea of having power. It sickens you… but that idea alone just hurts you. Instead of letting yourself bloom, you’ve let yourself rot, your life stopped being your own… you need to take control…”

“Why would I deserve a life that’s any better? I’ve don’t nothing but wallow in my own suffering”

Her hands move to my neck… caressing my veins… it felt nice… it calmed me down…

“Everyone deserve control over their own life… well most people at least- especially you”

She gently speaks in my ear, her gentle breathing makes me shutter… sensitivity flows throughout my body…

“You have so much more potential than this, so just let me show you the life you deserve… let me show you the life you can birth. Let me show you true passion…”

“I’ll show you undeniable love, so that you won’t let anyone mistreat you ever again…”

Every night, someone joins me in my bed, they show me a love which nobody else could, not just sexual but… romantic. This person isn’t real… I see them. I feel them. I understand why they’re here, they’re trying to show me what true romance is, since nobody else would…

My own mind, desires an incomprehensible kind of love and it’s showing me I deserve so much better, these hallucinations are a message.

My mind is saying..

“Don’t ever settle again”

“You’ve hurt yourself too much”

“You need true love, not this false love born from desperation”

“Find someone who appreciates you… the way we appreciate ourselves”

“Break the cycle…”

“Heal…”

Never again will I fall victim to the pull of desperation

Never again will I let myself be mistreated

I am powerful, valuable, beautiful and sensitive

I deserve so much better

I will finally create the reality I desire.

Im done giving up control

I’m free, it happened again, someone far away wanted to draw me in. I want someone here, who I can feel and love and cut and burn… mark and claim. I always got drawn in anyway, to love that’s far away. I know, it’s kinda stupid, I know what I want, I tell people what I want, I try to run away but my loneliness draws me in. Beckons me to fall into the same bad habits as always. I’ve fallen for this over and over, feeling guilty and lost every time even though I told them what I wanted… I got attached, they become my fp, I can’t escape for weeks until I’m finally able to break it off…

this time though, I felt myself being drawn in, it was a lot, I fought it though. I told myself finally “this isn’t what we need or want” and pulled away, I don’t need love from a million miles away, I need love right here. I finally freed myself from this cycle, I’m so proud… finally… finally finally.

I want to feel your heart in my hands as it desperately beats for life, I want to kiss it, love it.

I want to feel your subtle flinching in my arms as I drive the knife deeper into your soul, I want to taste your blood.