YOUR OWN DECEIVER

𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖏𝖚𝖘𝖙 𝖌𝖔𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖘𝖔 𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖑, 𝖜𝖆𝖘𝖓'𝖙 𝖎𝖙?  two  minutes  in  and  they  were  already  fighting.  it  isn’t  unusual  for  them.  whether  their  off  or  on  their  relationship  remained  intense—  and  messy.  this  was  the  messier  side.  one  where  he  didn’t  know  when  to  leave  well  enough  alone  after  shutting  her  out  for  weeks.  but  he  wasn’t  about  to  simply  leave  and  let  this  lie.  fingers  move  quickly,  wrapping  around  her  wrist  before  she  could  pull  away  after  poking  him  in  the  chest.        “ and  i  made  the  WRONG  choice.  is  that  what  you  want  to  hear?  that  i  fucked  up  and  shouldn’t  have  pushed  you  away—  again. ”        he  releases  her  then,  even  removes  his  other  hand  from  the  door.        “ i  miss  you.  and  i’ll  keep  saying  it  whether  you  like  it  or  not.  even  if  you’re  DONE. ”        there  is  emphasis  on  that  final  word.  because  that  is  the  feeling  he’s  getting  now.  that  after  six  years  of  this  she  may  actually  have  had  enough.  enough  of  him.  and  he  wants  to  hear  her  say  it  before  he  leaves  tonight.

dawn loved the fair. everything about it was exhilarating. the sea of people, eating one’s weight in sweets, and even the endearingly janky rides. she loved it all. where some saw an endless array of health code and safety violations, dawn simply saw unabashed charm. she hooked her finger into one of the hollow balls before them, patiently watching as their fellow contestants tried and failed to land theirs in one of the few colored cups. goblet pitch was a simple game, but even more so when the rules were bent. with so few chances left, and even fewer wins under their belts, dawn was tired of playing shy. 

“okay, new game plan.” dawn wrapped her stuffed neon serpent around her neck like a scarf, and leaned into her partner. she smelled sweet; a mixture of perfume and a particularly choice funnel cake. “try hittin’ someone else’s ball before the girls can clear the board up. that way it’ll fall in easier--like pool, or whatever.” she smiled then, genuine and true. dawn went every year with one mission in mind: to win. the prizes were never much, but they meant magnitudes more to those she’d gift them to in the pediatric ward. it was all about the little things, right? “watch this.”

this would be the third time in a long 12 hours that allegra had attempted to swallow her pride & ask for help. the sheer thought of it alone made her insides crawl. the first two times she simply refused to speak, hating herself more each time for the weakness taking over her ability to withhold pain. this third time however, an involuntarily loud sharp inhale escaped her lips as she glanced down at the gruesome wound that had re-opened at her torso due to the vigorous tasks given to the prospect recently - that, or the fights she gladly placed herself in. it was infected; she didn’t have to be a doctor to realize that. ignoring it, much like the mental wounds that terrorized her at this time of night, was her way of coping.

cold-sweat poured over her forehead as she stammered for the right words to say through the burner phone, shaking both in consuming pain & anger. “dawn,” was finally uttered louder than expected, trying to compensate from the weakness she felt. “i… i nee—” she couldn’t. “are you working right now?”

dawn blinked into the endless night. for hours she’d been restless: tossing and turning, mind unable to succumb to a much needed rest. it was a miserable affair disrupted by none other than the sound of a familiar voice. she sat up and brushed her too-warm comforter to the side. “no, i’m—i’m home right now.” dawn’s voice came out slow, unsure. she’d received too many late night calls to not assume the worst, and allegra’s eager work ethic didn’t help. it was a reality she’d long learned to accept ever since she started getting cosy with stratford’s most wanted. 

𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖑, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖘𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖆𝖘.  the  dawn  he  knew  and  loved.  a  firecracker  ready  to  give  him  a  well  deserved  tongue-lashing.  which  wasn’t  something  he  tended  to  take  in  stride.  now  very  well  likely  wouldn’t  be  any  different.  cal  didn’t  move,  hand  firmly  planted  on  the  door.  he  wasn’t  about  to  budge  and  let  her  off  easily.        “ damned  if  i  do,  damned  if  i  don’t,  huh?  you’re  pissed  when  i  don’t  want  to  talk  and  now  you’re  pissed  when  i  do.  make  up  your  fucking  mind,  woman! ”        he  is  making  things  worse.  he  knows  it  as  the  words  come  out  of  his  mouth,  yet  he  doesn’t  stop.        “ you  really  just  going  to  stand  there  and  act  like  you  don’t  miss  me?  come  on,  dawn.  we  both  know  better  than  that. ”

𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖆 𝖙𝖔𝖚𝖈𝖍 𝖔𝖋 𝖘𝖚𝖗𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖊.  deep  down  he  wasn’t  expecting  her  to  open  the  door,  not  even  a  crack.  but  she  did.  and  he’s  greeted  by  wide  blue  eyes  and  cooper-red  hair.  it  is  almost  like  a  punch  to  gut,  he  honest  to  god  didn’t  realize  how  much  he  missed  her  until  she  was  staring  at  him  dead  in  the  eyes.      “ to  see  you. ”        he  answers  after  a  beat  of  silence  between  the  two.  the  blunt,  honest  truth.  but  now  it  isn’t  enough  just  to  look  at  her.  he  wants  in.  wants  to  talk.  about  what?  fuck  if  he  knows,  they  could  talk  about  the  weather  for  all  he  cares  as  long  as  it  is  with  her.        “ you  look  good—  as  usual.  you  gonna  let  me  in? ”        cal  steps  closer.  hand  on  the  door  before  she  can  tell  him  no  and  slam  the  door  in  his  face.        “ please?  i  just  want  to  talk.  no  funny  business,  i  promise. ”

@redsdawn !

𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖆 𝖇𝖆𝖉 𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖆.  cal  knew  that  good  and  well  before  he  even  drove  over  here.  they  hadn’t  talked  in  awhile—  not  since  their  latest  breakup.  his  fault,  the  not  talking  (  although  the  breakup  is  his  fault  too  if  he  cared  to  be  honest  with  himself  )  he  has  a  knack  for  shutting  her  out  the  moment  they  fall  apart.  cal  knows  it  hurts  her,  and  maybe  that’s  why  he  does  it.  some  childish  way  to  make  himself  feel  better  for  a  fleeting  moment.  or  a  self-destructive  hope  that  she  won’t  take  him  back,  because  really  she  shouldn’t.  six  years  of  this  same  song  and  dance,  she  should  have  told  him  to  FUCK  OFF  for  good  a  long  time  ago.  but  she  didn’t  and  he  couldn’t  find  it  in  himself  to  stay  away  even  if  he  wanted  to.  which  is  exactly  how  cal  finds  himself  knocking  on  her  front  door  right  at  this  very  moment.  he  isn’t  sure  what  he’s  going  to  say—  it  isn’t  like  he  came  here  armed  with  an  apology  and  looking  to  get  back  together.  really,  he  just  wants  to  see  her.  even  if  she  ends  up  slamming  the  door  in  his  face.        “ dawn,  hey,  it’s  me.  open  up? ”

– “Look I really need you to pay these dues. My boss is having a fit over all these missing books and she thinks that I, for some reason, having a better chance of getting you to pay.” Irey said as she played around with a knife in her hand. She’s been watching YouTube videos on butterfly knife tricks and she wanted to learn how to do it.

( jessica chastain. forty. cis female. she/her. ) in stratford, dawn wright  is more commonly known as red. they’ve been living in stratford for thirty years and currently work as a nurse. some say they are malapert  & rancorous but i’m more inclined to believe those that say they’re ballsy  & dependable. if you walk by their house, you can sometimes hear cloudbusting by kate bush playing from their window. ( the sting of comments better left unsaid, driving with the windows down, subjecting oneself to the unknown, and never knowing when to stop. )