truth aficionado

Hey, we’re filling the space here until the podcast is posted, alright? I’m answering asks while Dan and Seth and probably some interns are running around doing god knows what. I just wait until they’re done so I can put my stamp of approval on it like an obsolete monarch.

You see, Tangled is an automatic classic. Why? Because the original story of Rapunzel fucking blows. In this post, I will summarize the ins and outs of why  Tangled by Disney Animations, is better than most Disney movies. 

1. Rapunzel herself:

What a journey this little shorty goes through. I know that the more recent Disney princess movies have been about female empowerment - definitely more-so than they used to be. But Tangled just hit me in the fucking ‘feels’. Rapunzel is so strong and so compassionate and real. She’s strong without seeming forced, she’s naive, she’s innocent, she’s smart, and she is one of the best Disney Princesses in my most humble opinion. 

Like? Yo, homegirl literally fuckin lived in a tower her whole life, being abused and manipulated by her selfish ‘mother-figure’ (she aint no moms), and you can tell how young and naive she is. But she is adaptable, she is quick, and she is so unbelievably witty?

FOH (frizzy old hag, not to be confused with Fuck Outta Here) didn’t teach her shit. And she still handled Flynn Rider so fucking well. I just. have so many feelings about Rapunzel. I’m proud of her. 

2. Flynn Rider:

Okay listen. Not only is he funny, he’s real. He has flaws. He admits them. Just like Rapunzel he adapts, he grows, he learns from his mistakes. I feel like I relate a lot to Eugene. When I was younger, back in my college days, I was an asshole my guy. Like. Wow. I don’t know how others put up with me sometimes and I honestly could hardly put up with myself. The office still sees me as that college dude they had to drag home from the bar, check pockets for pills, and try and set me on the straight and narrow even tho I refused. I relate to Flynn in that I had a shitty lifestyle and I grew from it after some tough life shit. The only thing I lacked was a kick-ass chick to help me (I had Dan, but Dan is like blood), but thats gucci. It’s never too late 👀

3. That fuckin horse:

The fuck was his name? Idfk but he wins best Disney side-kick award (aside from Mushu. But ngl Mushu, your methods are questionable. Terrible judgement. I’ll take Horsey Homie any day)

4. lil’ bar scary brothers

Yo. Okay. But terrifying bar brothers were the best. That song? I’ve Got a Dream? I felt that in my fuckin bones. 

AND MY TEMPER AND MY HOOK. IVE ALWAYS YEARNED TO BE A CONCERT PIANIST. Okay yo, but like my guy. 👀schmood. 

5. The music:

The music was so good. Honestly, Tangled Soundtrack and J.Cole can fuckin throw hands for #1 (I’m joking. No im not)

Mother Knows Best fuckin slaps and I will fight anyone that disagrees. Despite FOH singin’ it. 

Mandy Moore nailed it. She invited to the cookout. 

I can go on, but Dan just walked out of Wymack’s office and she yellin.

i have a list. send in your disney questions.