ACTIVE JULY 2026

concept: my boyfriend writes songs about me and i paint him

was gonna sh but seIena started playing and she wouldnt want me to do that ❤️‍🩹

i wish i could accept that im never going to be a kid again

migraine. insomnia. intense loneliness and insecurity. i have to get up and do yard work in an hour. at what point do they stop torturing me

i am coming here to post all my thoughts because i feel like it and also because i havent taken my sleep medicine and also because im too mentally ill to share w my irls

OH BUT WHAT IF I TEXT HIM.

okay im normal now what the fuck⁉️ was wrong with me

and maybe the only reason im not in that situation is just cause i dont know where to find those people. i did make a secret discord account years ago just to pretend to be a girl but i didnt know where to go from there. and itd be harder to fake being a girl now that ive been on t for 3 years so. idk

and i should get with an abusive creep btw. because i am very mean and emotionally volatile and nobody actually knows that because i just internalize it all. so he gets a pretty toy to be mean to and i get attention and were both awful to each other AND the time he spends on me just takes away from any time hed spend creeping on another innocent person. and maybe this is just an elaborate form of sh

and yes i do still entertain the thought of detransitioning for the chance that someone will want me

im kind of pretty. in case a boy wants to take advantage of my loneliness

i miss being 14. i miss how edblr was 5 years ago i miss talking to my ex i miss the friends ive cut off since then i miss being on the verge of psychosis and killing myself