Mine

Yes, Redlilith is dead and reborn!

THE GIRL YOU USED TO KNOW

I remember her too, that girl you used to know. The fall from Eden an ugly cut From her chin to her groin. She carried it well, like all her other scars. Her insides would often spill out And bleed her dry, Her light chasing worth in the world Instead of keeping her safe In a darkness so cruel She never let herself breathe. She was so beautiful, You forgot that part so soon. So she forgot it too. High on love, high on you Jumping at every little chance To sacrifice some other part of herself For you, To be whoever you needed Because she thought she needed A center to exist, To be a human being. A good one, of course, like you.

I saw it happen and I just stood there. I let it happen. I didn’t know how to intervene. You thought her inconvenient To your eternal retreating And she learned what being invisible Truly means, Turning blind to anything kind. You took away the words, Any true meaning behind them And she learned how to choke on her own. Like a broken horse being put down Over and over and over, she hunted and shot herself After every new silent dismissal.

The girl I knew, the one you remember to miss Now and then, You hardly acknowledged she was yours When you were all she had. You made her ashamed of herself, You beat her to a pulp with surgical precision And Carved on her body that she was less than zero So many times She finally believed you. You taught her to die at will, You taught her well, Customized her coffin to perfection even. Too loud, too hard, too mean, too giving, too demanding… Never enough for you nonetheless, She mastered how to let everyone else rot too, A body count keeping her company In your stead.

The girl you used to know Is still here, She never truly left. You still just refuse to see her. The difference is she finally remembered Who she really is While you keep running away. I forgive her everything. I know she is tired, I know she wants to give up the fight, I know she deserved so much more Than bleeding in a void.

You said it would be easy. You said you’d hold my hand all the time. You said you had a heart and I could live in it.

I look at the hole in my chest now and I wonder If I just swapped one emptiness for another