from ruin we bloom

"Maybe we should let them find us. Let them watch us. Can you imagine the look on IV's face when he sees that pretty frown you make when I tease that wet little cunt. Or how Ves will come crawling to you on all fours when he hears those squelching noises?"

That recent memory took care of your smile for you.

But what happened, just now, despite of what it meant for III, for you it meant you chose him. That he was the one you wanted to be with, from all of them, even if just for fun.

Right?

Ugh.

The afterthoughts swirling in your head weren't nearly as kind as the ones tumbling around you when you were making out with him. You touched your lips with the tips of your fingers, kind of hoping you would still feel the ghost of his kisses there. You were making out with him, with III.

He had his tongue shoved down your throat and his fingers over your aching core.

Your legs trembled. Whatever it was that you needed to figure out would have to wait, because now every attempt to think would melt away from you like hot wax.

Hearing footsteps coming your way, you bolted towards the opposite direction, scared to death that you would be caught in that situation. Running through the dark hallways trying to find a restroom, you ran into someone, and thanked whatever god was taking care of you that it was just Andy.

"Rookie, what—", it took him a second to understand your current appearance. "What did you do? Who did you do?"

You quietly wept on his shoulder. "Not now, please", you begged.

He chuckled at you misery. "Okay now, come on. Let's get rid of this paint."

Andy took you to the nearest restroom, where you could get a real good look in the mirror. After a split second of shock, you bursted into laughter, making Andy laugh with you. Feeling like a teenager, it took a while for you to compose yourself while he helped you clean your face.

"Okay, you gotta tell me what happened", he demanded after you stopped laughing.

"I swear I would if it didn't involve someone else", you stated, eyes twinkling in the dim lights.

Andy's eyes went wide in a panic. "Aah come on!", he whined. "At least tell me who", he begged.

"Nope", you shook your head. "Only after I check with him if it's okay for other people to know. I also don't want it to spread, my life's gonna become a living hell here if this gets out."

He put his hand on his waist, looking offended. "I'd never tell anyone!"

"I know, but even so!", you were both hushing the words, as to prevent any eavesdropping.

"Darling? Are you alright in there?", you heard IV's voice from the other side of the door. "You vanished and we were a tiny bit worried."

"Is it IV?", Andy whispered, eyes wide as saucers.

"No", you whispered back, exasperated. "Yeah, IV, I'm okay, sorry I disappeared. Had a little accident, but I'm coming right up."

"Okay...", he simply said, and you realized he might wait for you to come out.

You looked at Andy, and he sees all colour leaving your face.

Then, realisation washes over his face. "No one could find III just now", he blurted.

You hid your face in your hands and said a little prayer. "Andy, please..."

"Oh my God!", he exclaimed. "How was he?"

"Shut up!", you cried, putting your hand over his mouth.

"Darling?", IV insisted.

"I'm coming!", you said louder, on the verge of tears.

Andy took off his hoodie and you put it on top of your scrunched and stained shirt. Most of the paint on your face was gone, but it left a red patch where you scrubbed. The only thing to do about the stains and bruises on your neck was to let your hair down to hide them, which wasn't the best solution since it was matted and messy.

You opened the restroom door, with Andy standing behind you. IV's icy blue eyes went from confusion to pure rage in a matter of seconds. It took you a while to understand why he seemed so pissed.

"Get out, Andrew", IV said. It wasn't a request, it didn't sound nice, or pleasant, like IV usually does. "Now. Get out."

"Whoa, IV, she was just—", Andy started to explain, already stepping out of the restroom with his hands up.

"Didn't ask, don't wanna hear it. Get back to work", he just observed Andy rounding him, stepping forward to put himself between you and your friend.

Andy scurried away, and you were left stunned with him in the dark hallway. IV huffed, he wasn't annoyed, he wasn't mad, his eyes indicated much more than that.

"So, is this the professional posture you're going for?", he pressed, stepping towards you.

"What? IV, what the hell—"

"You push us away, just to crawl into a toilet stall with a roadie? I thought you had standards", the scowl on his face felt like it was meant to hurt.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!", you exclaimed, shoving him back by his solid chest, making him step back again. "Andy is my friend, and I can assure you he isn't interested in me, you moron!"

He takes another step back, blue eyes finally wavering. "He's..."

"Yes!", you exclaimed, throwing your hands up. "And even if he wasn't, even if I was messing around, with him or anyone else, I fail to see how that's your concern!"

Suddenly, all of that icy exterior melted away, and he was back at being the IV you knew. His eyes softened, his hands twitched.

"It isn't", he simply said. "But I need to make sure you're safe. That you are with the people you want to be", he eyed you up and down, unreadable expression. "Whoever they may be."

Your shoulders relaxed involuntarily. A small part of you even wanted to be mad, but something in him was so genuine, so warm.

"Yeah, but how can you do that if you don't trust me, don't trust my judgement?", you genuinely asked, stepping towards him again. "Andy was helping me with a small accident I had", you finally conceded, not ready to tell him more details than this.

His eyes travelled all over your face, stopping on the red patches where you scrubbed, and on a poorly concealed hickey on your neck, and on the wet wisps of hair that still had a small amount of black paint on the tips. "What kind of accident?", he asked, reaching for your hair.

You looked up at him, trying to find words, and you realized something terrible. It wasn't just that you wanted to protect both yours and III's privacy. Deep, deep down, you didn't want IV to know about it because you knew that being with III ruined your chances of being with him.

You never felt worse in your life, sickened by your own selfishness, your own... Lack of character.

"She was with me", III appeared at the end of the hallway, approaching you both in a relaxed way, hands shoved down his pockets. "I'm afraid I left her in a messy state and she needed to clean up", he waved his painted hand towards IV. "This fucking thing..."

Well, at least III decided for you. Perhaps that was for the best, you thought to yourself, trying to settle the uncomfortable, burning feeling in your stomach. IV looked at you, eyebrows slightly raised, and then looked at III.

You waited for him to blow up on either of you, like he blew up on Sam and Andy for even looking at you in a way he didn't like. He didn't. He smiled towards III, slightly shaking his head.

"IV, I—", you started, feeling like you had to fix this mess, but IV cut you off.

"Did you want it?", he asked.

You couldn't read what was slithering behind his eyes. "I did. Of course. III would never—"

"Then why did you ask for space? II is always making sure we're leaving you be. He's worried about you. And he's worried we're gonna crowd you", again, he didn't sound hurt, he sounded... Something else entirely.

"I didn't know what I wanted", you told him, feeling the relief of being honest with him for the first time that night. "I'm still... Not sure."

IV's eyes were kind. The snort coming from III not so much.

"You felt pretty sure to me", he snickered, making you blush violently.

"Don't be an arse", IV suddenly defended you, a soft scowl turned towards the bassist. "Darling, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for getting it all wrong."

Thankfully, III cuts in again, because you had no idea of what to say to him. "I'm not sorry", he said. You kind of expected to see a smirk on his face, but he was very serious, looking at you with eyes filled with adoration. "He's right, II was very worried, and he wanted us to stay clear so you could move freely, which is fair, I suppose, but I'm not a machine, Giggles", he slightly hopped into place, restlessness oozing out of him. "I've been craving you, and I can't just toggle it off, so I needed you to either accept me or let me go."

It wasn't exactly a question. Your heart jumped inside your chest, thrumming against your ribs, ringing in your ears. When your eyes found IV, he was smiling softly, still that unreadable expression.

"Does that mean we can approach you again?", IV asked, a tinge of hopefulness staining his voice, making your heart ache a little.

As much as you wanted to give him a straight answer, you didn't have one yet. "I'm not sure of what any of this means yet, IV", you replied, almost whining.

He simply nodded, analysing you. "Yeah, I understand."

You looked for III, almost begging him to have an answer for you, any answer. He seemed to understand.

"Can I have a word with you in private?", the bassist asked, motioning towards the end of the empty hallway.

"I'm gonna join the others. We'll head back and will be in Ves' room if you need us", IV informed, already turning on his heels to leave.

"You can wait for me, I'll only be a second", III informed.

The seriousness in his voice wasn't something you were used to, and it made your stomach twist in itself. III placed a gentle hand on the back of your neck and guided you further into the hallway, stopping by a road case and taking a seat there.

"I need you to be honest with me, Giggles", he said, looking straight into your eyes, leaning forward. "Do you wanna do that again? Or was it something you did in the whim of the moment?"

His straight-forwardness made your hands tremble and he saw it, grabbing ahold of them, kissing your knuckles softly. "Do it again? You mean—"

"I mean kissing the living fuck out of me", he mended, still loving your hands. "I mean making out until my knees are weak and you're all I can think about. I mean giving me the most painful boner I remember having", he finally looked at you, blue eyes sharp in your direction. "Is it something you would want to do again?"

Your breath hitched in your throat, because there was no doubt in your mind, but still, voicing it out loud for him was a whole different story. "Yes...", came out pitifully, only a thread of voice.

His eyebrows raised and his whole expression relaxed, sighing a soft, relieved breath through his nose. "That's good, luv", he sighed again. "That's really good."

He pulled you by your wrists until your mouths collided. It wasn't a deep, long kiss, but it was almost unbearably sweet.

"What does it mean, though?", you asked, unable to contain yourself.

Normally, you wouldn't be the type of person who keeps asking "what are we?" after a first kiss, but there were so many things at play there. There was nothing normal about that situation.

"It means you want me and I want you", he shrugged. "And we'll have to figure the rest out together. Is it something you would want to do?"

You smiled, still tense, but all molten on the inside. "Yeah... Yeah, I'd like that", you nodded.

"Good", he smiled brightly at you, kissing your hand one last time before letting it go. "Now, as much as I want to take the wheel here completely, it has to be your decision... I'd tell the rest of the band right away, and close this gap between the five of us for good", he got up again, making a point in relation to his lack of patience. "And even though I hate being patient and understanding, I know there are reasons for you to be careful around all of this, so just this time, I'm gonna leave it in your hands. You can either pretend nothing happened and we can see eachother in private, or you can join us for our late-night chat in Vessel's room", he eyed you up and down. "Although I'd really like it if you chose the latter."

"I don't know, III...", you whined. "What if you regret it later? You're high on stage-induced adrenaline, you won't want to have anything to do with me the next time that bus stops and you lay your eyes on a pretty girl."

III looked at you as if you were crazy, furrowed brow and worry-stained blue eyes. "What on earth are you on about? Did you hit your fucking head, Giggles?"

Your mouth shut with an audible clack. "I mean it, III. I can't get stained if that's just fun—"

"I think I deserve more credit than that", he said, chuckling. "Wasn't the moment we shared in the wings not genuine enough for you? Because I think it was, and I think you know it. I think it felt so true you're panicking now, looking for exits, for ways to go back", he grinned wickedly at you, as if he was seeing your feelings glowing underneath your skin like x-rays. "But I know how I feel and there's no going back from it."

His sharp, fast honesty was certainly something you felt like you had to get used to. III didn't seem to have insecurities, shame, and reservations like normal people do. Feeling too small in comparison of his eloquence regarding his feelings, you just licked your lips and nodded, suddenly aware of the taste of him sitting on your cupid's bow.

"I might just... Sleep on it, think... See what happens tomorrow", you suggested, more insecure than you've ever felt before.

III's eyes rolled so hard you were afraid he would go permanently blind. "Okay, fine, that's your call. But you're crazy if you think you'll just lay there on your big, lonely bed, and stare at the ceiling. You'll be thinking about that kiss, about me, until the sun comes up, and you know it."

You huffed a small laugh through your nose, forced to acknowledge the fact that he was very right. "You don't know that", you said playfully, allowing him to snake his arms around your hips and pull you closer to him, both of you chuckling lightly.

"Like I said, it's your call. Just... Just think about it, eh? I understand if you don't want me to eat you out in front of the crew", you snorted and slapped his chest, pulling a laughter from him. "I don't agree with it, but I understand. But the boys are different. Those aren't just my bandmates, Giggles, they're my lungs. I can't breathe properly if I'm keeping a secret like you from them."

He dipped his head, kissing your lips again, then the raw skin on your jaw. "Don't make this a fling, or a dirty secret, that we hide in dark corners like teens. That's for roadies and groupies, and you're none of that. Walk in there with me, show them you're with us."

Us?

You shook your head. "What if they hate me for it? What if Ves or II decide to fire me?"

He chuckled, looking at you in disbelief. "Gods, you really are clueless, aren't you. That's so cute. Vessel and II are on their hands and knees for you. As IV and I", oh this was so confusing. "We need you here, pet. No one's, gonna hate you, no one's gonna fire you. And we'll get rid of anyone who tries to hurt you."

You wanted to accept it, you wanted to believe in it. It was so surreal though, too impossible, too good to be true. You weren't able to give him a straight yes or no, and he didn't wait for it.

"We'll be in 1402", he just informed you, kissing your forehead one last time. "I'll leave you to your work."

His hand slipped from yours as he walked away.

Getting back to work was hard, to say the least. Every muscle, every nerve ending in your body complained, wanting to be somewhere else. When you were almost finished with the checklist, you set to look for Andy, to see how he was doing after IV's outburst.

You found him helping the lighting guys with the rest of the equipment. He smirked knowingly at you.

"Hey", the smirk didn't fade, he offered you a nod before refocusing on the delicate gear.

You started helping. "Hey", you responded. "How are you feeling?"

He snorted. "Yeah, I'm okay. Not the first pissed off guitarist to blow off on me."

He was chuckling, but you couldn't bring yourself to do the same. "Andy, I'm so sorry my mess spilled on you, this wasn't—"

"Oh, quit it, rookie", he dismissed you with a flick of his wrist. "I was helping a friend and everything is okay."

"I'm still embarrassed though. IV wasn't mad at you, he was just—"

"Jealous. I know", he cut you off again, resuming his work. "He told me so."

"He told you he was jealous?", you asked a little skeptical, not knowing if he was being serious or just fucking with you.

"Yeah, he dropped by before they left to apologize. Said he saw you with me and lost his mind, that he's jealous but he's working on it", he shoot you an amused glance. "Now, since you feel like you owe me something, you could at least tell me why he would think he has any claim over you?"

You groaned. "I don't know! He just... Likes me."

Andy tilted his head back to laugh. "Oh no, baby, I just like you. That was something else entirely", he looked around him to see if anyone was listening, and got a little closer to you. "Does he know about you and III?", he whispered.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing. "Yeah...", you whispered back. "III told him."

Andy's eyebrows shot up fast. "Did they fight?", he asked, leaning over you, grabbing your forearm with his mouth hanging open. "Did they fight over you?!"

"No," you hissed back. "Shut up!"

"Huh, but that's interesting", he mused. "Anyone but his bandmates, then?"

Your face glowed three different shades of red. "I have no idea of what's going on."

"Will you please tell me when you figure it out?", he chuckled, way happier than he should. "'Cause that's just gold."

You elbowed him and decided to finish helping them in silence. When you were heading to the van, everyone else went ahead and you were left with Andy lagging behind.

"So...", he started very low, even though no one was around to hear you. "Are you and III a thing now? Or was it a one time thing?"

"I've no idea", you said honestly. "I mean, I know we're not a thing, even if we get together a few times, III will get tired of me so fast. This is just a distraction from everything that's going on with him."

Andy didn't agree or disagree with you. He put his hand on your shoulder, squeezing and shaking it slightly. "I know why you'd think something like that, and I actually do to. At the end of the day he's a man, and he's in a touring band and all that...", he echoed what you've been thinking. "But they all seem pretty stand up guys to me. I don't think they'd treat you badly in any way, just... Stay wary, hm? No matter what happens, keep in mind this is just good fun for them, that way you're either prepared or positively surprised."

You smiled at him, nodding. Andy was right, of course he was. He's been around those artist for way longer than you, he knew how those things work. Would you be able to, though? Running with it, in case III wanted to keep you around for longer, and not get attached? Not let your expectations get the best of you?

You spent the ride back to your hotel completely silent, pondering on the decision you had to make now. III made it clear that if you decided not to join them that night, you wouldn't be closing any doors, but he also tried to get his point across when he said it would mean a lot to him if you did. Needless to say, it was a tough decision.

Just hiding in your room dreading whatever would happen the next day in the bus was more your style. But every time you thought about how you were actually curious about what would happen if you'd just show up at Vessel's door, a little smile tried to fight its way to your lips. Two options, two very different outcomes, and in the end, the final victims will always be your heart and your career, the only two things you actually had.

Were you really that horny that you'd be willing to give those up?

Your mind shot back to that moment with him, the way he kissed you, the way he held you, the way he promised there was much more to come. Yep, apparently you were that horny, you bitterly laughed to yourself as you pressed the 14th floor button instead of the 8th, which was where your room was. You stood alone in the elevator, frantically pushing the button to close the doors before anyone else came in.

Your prayers fell short, as a sound tech pushed his hand inside to prevent the elevator door to shut. You scrambled away from the panel, pushing your back against the other corner of the metallic box. The tech grunted a greeting, and then looked at the button panel.

Your instinct was to stare at your shoes. He realized the eighth floor wasn't pushed, and his eyes went to the button that was lit up instead. You heard a gruff of a laugh leave his nose, and when he stared at you with a knowing smirk, you sustained his gaze, deadly serious.

Maybe it was time that you showed a little more courage, as III kept suggesting. You fought everyone you knew and held dear to be there, and now you were shying away from the these misogynistics nobodies who thought they had anything to do with your private life? That wasn't you.

And if you were to keep making stupid decisions such as to go up to the band's hotel rooms in the middle of the night in front of everyone, you might as well sustain it. The elevator dinged, and the tech looked at you again over his shoulder.

"Have a pleasant night, rookie", he drawled, humour dripping from his voice.

"You too", you replied, leaning against the wall.

Once the doors closed again, you turned to look at yourself in the mirror. You still looked like a holy mess, the small amounts of paint on your hair had dried up again, the skin on your jaw and corner of your mouth red and raw from scrubbing, lips chapped and swollen, black smudges on the collar of your white t-shirt sticking out from Andy's hoodie. Speaking of which, you decided to take the hoodie off and tie it around your waist, and there were black handprints all over the t-shirt, but especially at the hem.

Since you were doing this, maybe you shouldn't hide anything else. Ever since you caught yourself mourning the fact that you wouldn't have any chances with the other band members now that you got with III, the thought still rattled in your brain. That was oh, so very wrong.

You were never like that, and you couldn't understand why you were behaving this way. Quickly, you attributed it to the fact that all of them offered a level of care and warmth your brain was craving, and it has gotten you confused. They were all too kind to you in a scary moment, and you got too attached.

You weren't a groupie, you weren't a horny fangirl, none of that. Yeah. Now that you are with III, at least for tonight, this is settled.

The elevator dinged again, and you gulped.

Your feet took you to room 1402 on their own, and you stood there for a while, thinking about what you would say. You realized you didn't have a clue.

That was so stupid, what were you even doing there?

You tilted your face down and your ear picked up some soft sounds inside the room, as well as some chattering. Then, you could hear the distinct sound of IV's bubbling laughter, the one you came to hold so dear, and your hand knocked on the hardwood by itself.

"I asked for room service", you heard the guitarist through the door. "I'll get it."

Seconds later, the door was opened and you were hit on the face with a pleasant warmth, and the smell of hotel shampoo. IV was a gorgeous man, wasn't he? His eyes went a little big, making it clear that you were the last person he expected to find standing there, but his expression quickly melted into a happy, satisfied smile.

"Room service", you joked, smiling shyly at him. "I just forgot your order."

"This is exactly what I asked for", he replied, pulling you inside by your wrist.

The proximity and his joke sat heavy on your chest. IV had just showered, short dirty blonde hair damp and falling on his forehead, soft white t-shirt clinging to his biceps and torso, comfortable sweatpants. The sight was so domestic, and yet so alluring.

He opened his mouth once, and closed it again quickly, signaling that whatever was on his mind wouldn't come out yet. Placing a gentle hand to the small of your back, he guided you to a small lounging area where the rest of the band was resting. Your eyes quickly mapped out the whole place.

III was sitting on a small leather loveseat, bare feet buried in a fuzzy white carpet. II was sitting on the floor next to that same couch, Vessel laying sprawled on the carpet with his head on II's lap. The drummer was running his fingers through the singer's hair with a tenderness you don't remember seeing, between them or otherwise.

"Room service here is better than I thought", IV said, claiming their attention.

All three pair of eyes snapped at you. II's back straightened up like a cord pulled too tight, and Vessel quickly sat up. III's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, making it clear that it seemed he stopped hoping for you to show up a while ago.

Then, his expression melted in the happiest you've ever seen him.

Your heart hammered in your throat. They were all recently showered, in comfy clothes, back at being the men you loved to be around.

"Is something wrong?", II asked quickly, eyes skimming over your whole figure. "Did something happen?"

You shook your head. "No, I'm fine", you reassured him, but he remained tense. "I just... I came here to...", gods, this was hard, especially with all shades of blue and green eyes staring at you, unblinking.

IV rounded the carpet and went to sit beside III, waiting for you to say something. As for III, he leaned over his thighs and reached for your hand. His firm but gentle grip actually helping to soothe your nerves.

"I wanted to thank you all for giving the space I asked for a few days ago", you said. "You were all very respectful and understanding, and I really appreciate that. That said...", your eyes found IV's, and something in them grounded you. "This space you've given me showed me that it wasn't what I wanted at all."

They all kept staring, as if waiting for you to say something more, but you didn't. III lightly tugged at your wrist, and you looked at him. There was no trace of that sly expression he always wore, just sweet loving eyes peering into yours.

"And what is it that you want, then?", Vessel asked, the sound of his voice smooth like silk, tickling your nerve endings.

Hah, great question.

"I... I don't know yet. To be honest, I'm very confused, and I have no idea about what I'm doing", you confessed, hanging your head low in shame. "This confusion isn't like anything I've ever felt before... All I know is that I'm missing you guys. And I wanna stay close."

"We want you close, Giggles." III said against the back of your hand. You put your other hand on his hair and he purred.

"We really, really do", II confirmed, raising an eyebrow to the affection between you and the bassist. "May I ask what prompted your change of heart?"

One heartbeat, one glance at each of them. "III did", you said.

Your body tensed, waiting for disapproving looks, disgust, jealousy, or anything in the likes. You got none of it.

"I kissed her", III said, tugging your arm down until you were facing him. "Right here", he put his long index finger over your lips. "And here", he ran his fingers on the corner of your mouth. "And here", he finally grazed your jaw, where the skin was irritated.

You sighed heavily, dreading to look away from him to see the expression on the others' faces. Until you hear an amused laugh leaving Vessel's nose, which perked up your interest. You straightened up to look at him.

"III definitely knows how to kiss", he mused, looking at you with an expression you don't remember seeing before. "I don't think any of us have the talent for chaos that he has", he looked at II and then at IV, seeing both of them shaking their heads no and chuckle. "Or the slight disregard for stuff we directly ask him not to do. I envy him for it, but I'm glad he pulled you back."

You were stunned, to say the least. It was hard to understand their dynamic, and what exactly they wanted from you. You could see it in their eyes that they wanted something.

The air was charged with a collectively held breath. And you felt suddenly small under their gazes, as if they would pounce on you at any moment. Like a hunger that has been denied all this time, and that III just opened the door for.

"Are you really okay with it, love?", II asked. "Aren't you uncomfortable or anything like that?"

Being called "love" by him felt like quenching a thirst you've been ignoring to your limits. You let III's hands go to turn your body in the drummer's direction. You knew your eyes were smiling as much as you were.

"Yeah...", you murmured, smiling at him. "Whatever this is, I'm more than okay."

His eyes twinkled in the dim lights, not leaving your face for a second. "You look beautiful", he said very, very low, voice dripping with awe.

Something in the way he said it, or the way he looked at you made you very self conscious. You looked down at yourself, seeing the mess that you were, and suddenly extremely aware of the exhaustion in your bones. Exhaustion from the work, from what the work demanded, and from having to do it without anyone to share or support you.

The weight suddenly felt too heavy to carry, and you feared your knees would buckle under it at any moment.

"I think that's it...", you said awkwardly, as you observed Vessel getting up from the floor. "Thank you, guys. I'm gonna let you rest, you must be exhausted, I know I am."

"You're not leaving?", Vessel asked, turning his back to you to pad to the bedroom area, where he started rummaging through a suitcase. "We missed you, you can't leave now."

"You guys need to rest", you argued. "And I desperately need a shower."

"We are resting", Vessel replied, coming back with a bundle of fabric in his hands. "And you can shower here."

He placed a soft cotton white t-shirt and a piece of clean underwear in your hands. It felt scandalous, to say the least.

"I could easily go take a shower in my room and come back here?", you offered, extending the clothes back to him.

"You spent almost a month running away from us, darling", IV said, looking at you amused. "Stop looking for exits out of habit."

You looked at him, and your shoulders relaxed.

"Take a shower, relax, sit with us and just talk for a couple of hours. If you still want to go back to your room after you're nice and relaxed, I'm sure III will be happy to take you back", Vessel offered, all certainty and poise, as he usually is.

If I still want to go back to my room?

"Yeah, Giggles, I'll take you", III offered, wiggling his eyebrows in a comical way.

You didn't say yes, not literally, but you were already giggling, whole body caving in relaxation.

"There are clean towels in the cabinet", Vessel informed with finality.

You went to the ensuite bathroom in the small hallway, and II got up to follow you to show you said towels. He leaned against the door frame, eyes swimming with worry and care.

"Are you sure about all of this, love?", he asked, hands shoved in the pockets of his black Adidas sweats. "What about everything you told me? What people have been saying about you, your work? Or you suddenly don't care about it anymore?"

Your smile was bitter, and a little hurt. "I do care about it, I wish I didn't. I just...", you sighed and took a step forward, watching his whole body open up to welcome you, small smile dancing on his lips, shoulders sloping, hands leaving his pockets to come and rest on your wrists, gently, not possessively, not demanding, but tentatively. "I had a hard time being away from you guys, and I'm done fighting it."

II sighed heavily through his nose, his eyes scanning your hands for a while, already a little rough from the nature of your work. His eyes travelled upwards to the necklace where you still had the ring from IV and the pendant from Vessel. Then to your face, and he reached out to touch your jaw.

"What happened here?", he asked, softly brushing his thumb over the irritated skin.

You cleared your throat, considering stepping away but finding your body unresponsive under his touch. "III left that damn stage paint on my face", you replied weakly. "Tried to scrub it off before anyone saw it."

"Shouldn't have done that", II said, not scowling, just gently disapproving. "Fuck what they think."

You diverted your eyes, and the drummer pulled you back, closing the small space left between you two, bringing his other hand to hold your face.

"I was scared about what you would think too", you confessed.

II huffed and amused sigh, not quite a laugh, eyes studying your face with precision, feathery, long, blonde lashes casting shadows over his high cheekbones, making your breath hitch. He pulled your face even closer, and yet again, your heart leaped, for a second thinking, or maybe hoping, he was going to kiss you.

"Wanna know what I think about it, do you?"

"Mhm", was the best you could muster.

"Shouldn't let you shower", he mused, his nose trailing your cheek to your hair, inhaling so deeply you could feel his chest puffing against yours. "Love the way you smell", your knees almost buckled under the weight of his voice, gruff and gentle at the same time, like a harsh but much needed massage. "I'll tell you what I think about it when you're feeling better. Go on now, go take your shower."

And he stepped away, leaving you stunned, as he often does, closing the door behind him. You exhaled a deep sigh, as if all the air in the world had just left your body in one push. You ran your fingers through your hair, staring at your reflection in the big mirror over the sink.

II called you beautiful, and said he loved your smell, even though you don't remember being messier before. Your eyes scanned the bathroom, and there on the sink you saw four toothbrushes, a pile of used towels discarded on the floor, a bunch of clothing on the edge of the white porcelain bathtub. It all felt so domestic, something in your chest fluttering gently and lovingly, so much so you reprimanded yourself for it.

Peeling off the clothes from your body, you stepped in the shower and murmured a silent thankful sound when the high pressure water jet hit your hands and chest. You turned around, letting it massage your shoulders, and soak your hair. It was the best shower you had in ages.

You washed your hair thoroughly, and came out of the shower feeling like you were smelling just like IV. Staring at Vessel's clothes like it would start talking to you, you grabbed the underwear, deep in thought. It was just a pair of dark grey boxer briefs.

No big deal, right?

You put it on, slightly chuckling to yourself seeing how big it sat around your hips, before putting your bra back on and pulling his white t-shirt over your head. It was incredibly soft and huge, the collar exposing your shoulder, the hem reaching the middle of your thighs, and it smelled just like the singer, warm, woody, and earthy, that smell that reminded you of sandalwood incense and black tea. Figuring you were alone, you hugged yourself with it, and sniffed his shirt deeply.

Emerging from the steam of the bathroom, combing your fingers through your hair, trying to smooth out the knots without your faithful brush, you heard them talking and laughing. This time, they didn't stop upon your arrival, talking about something funny that happened during the previous tour. You approached them, standing next to the couch in a sort of awe, kind of hoping not to be noticed so you could keep watching them.

III re-told an incident in the plane where he poured ice water all over II. IV finished his sentences for him, correcting the date and minor details, with a fond roll of his eyes. Vessel reached across the table and casually stole a sip of II's wine without asking, while laughing along.

When III felt your presence standing there, he merely extended his hand to you. "Sit with me, Giggles", he said softly, so low you almost didn't hear it, while IV talked to the others.

You saw the tiny space between him and the guitarist, and thought you'd be very tightly packed between the two of them. Nonetheless, you aimed for it, and felt yourself being pulled sideways onto the bassist's lap instead. You felt horribly shy, but let yourself be engulfed by his embrace.

Getting comfortable in his arms, you rested your head on his chest, right under his chin, inhaling his flowery perfume, your feet neatly tucked in the small space between him and IV. His facial hair growing on his jaw and his upper lip twinkled in the soft yellow light, and if you could have mounted on him and kissed the shit out of him again in that moment, you would have.

He softly pulled your hands away from your hair and started raking his long fingers through it, working delicately on the remaining knots. The tips of his fingers massaged your scalp in a tenderness you would never credit him for, and he would separate your hair in smaller pieces and twirl them around his index finger. You inhaled deeply, let your shoulders down, and closed your eyes, hands falling limp on your lap.

The boys included you in the conversation easily, telling you stories of the past, feeding you details that made you feel as if you were there. It didn't escape you how Vessel covered his mouth with his glass when he laughed, and how II hugged his right knee close to his chest. How III always looked for the most ridiculous memories to tell, and how IV tilted his head up to the ceiling while trying to recall something in detail.

"Tell her about the hotel in Australia, Ivy", III said, resting his chin on the crown of your head.

"Oh God", IV squeezed his eyes shut and chuckled, being followed by all the other three. "III and I had a bet that he wouldn't be able to give II a jumpscare", he said between giggles.

"Oh God indeed", you whined and giggled at the same time, already imagining where this was going.

"This fucker is never taken by surprise!", III jagged a finger towards the drummer, who was already laughing out loud, shamelessly, a wonderful sound you haven't heard before. "Ever!"

IV threw his head back laughing, talking in between breaths. "He kept hiding in the corners, behind doors, inside cabinets, under beds", he took a breath to chuckle. "Once he scared Ves so bad he hit his head on the wall. He scared the living fuck out of me several times."

"But never II", Vessel said.

"Nope, never", III shook his head, his short beard grazing your forehead.

II just shrugged, taking another sip of his wine.

"Until one day", IV continued, also taking a sip of his whiskey. "He was hiding under II's bed at the hotel in Australia."

"I think I was under that damned thing for hours!", III told you, making you giggle again. "Until I hear the door open, and saw someone approaching. As soon as the ankles were within my reach, I grabbed them and stuck my head out to scare him."

"We heard dishes flying and breaking everywhere", IV said, already chuckling again. "So we went running to II's room."

"He had ordered room service!", III exclaimed, arms leaving your body to be thrown in the air. "That wanker ordered room service and he was in the bathroom the whole time!"

You threw your head back laughing, kicking your feet in place out of joy. "Oh no!", you exclaimed.

While kicking your feet, you felt IV's hand wrap around your ankle and staying there, a surprising strong and firm grip that almost made you yelp. You let it rest there. Just out of curiosity.

"Oh yes!", III continued. "I scrambled out and stood up, and saw food and the drink spilled all over the room, on the bed linen, on the curtains, on II's clothes", he made an ample gesture. "I saw in that lad's eyes that he was hating me in a way he never hated anyone before", you were laughing so hard that you pulled the laughter out of him too. "And I saw in II's face that I was gonna get so much shit for it too."

You eyed II from across the coffee table, and he was just openly laughing and shaking his head. Suddenly, a knock on the door silenced everyone for a second.

"Room service", the lady called from the other side of the door.

You all erupted in laughter again, the kind that she could certainly hear through the door.

"It's open", Vessel called through his chuckles.

The lady excused herself and wheeled a little cart in with a couple of trays. You meant to look at her to thank her, and caught the woman eyeing you up and down, an almost imperceptible scowl on her face, observing a young woman like you surrounded by men, fresh out of the shower, wearing clothes that clearly weren't yours, sitting on someone's lap while other man held your ankle and smoothed the skin there with his thumb. You decide to tilt your head down and divert your eyes.

III felt your body tense while you watched the dark haired woman setting the trays on the coffee table. His hand left your hair, and smoothed down your back, pulling you even closer to his chest. He kissed your temple until you tilted your neck upwards again, then the tip of your ear, and the skin behind it.

As if by magic, you completely forgot about that lady's presence. You might have even forgotten about the other boys, had IV's grip on your ankle not being so grounding and warm.

"Can I get you anything to drink, angel?", Vessel asked you while the attendant was preparing to leave. "II ordered a nice wine."

"Yeah, sounds good, thank you", you said, watching him grab a clean glass and pouring a couple of inches of tinted wine for you.

While you reached out to take it from him, III reached his arm across the loveseat and wiggled his fingers to IV, nonchalant, and you watched as the guitarist handed him his glass of whiskey. III took a sip and returned the glass. As the attendant excused herself eyeing you once more, you all thanked her and Vessel followed her to the door, locking it behind her.

You took a sip and turned to II, wanting to get back to the previous subject. The drummer got up from the floor and handed you a small plate with a club sandwich triangle and some fries, that you rested on your thighs while III picked on your food with you.

"Do you guys fight often?", you asked, not directly at the drummer, but looking at him.

He scoffed. "Oh, yeah."

"Frequently", IV confirmed. "It's impossible not to fight with III in the family."

Family.

"Yeah, right", III sounded way more offended than he probably was. "That's precious coming from you! The most reasonable, mature human in the world, are you?"

IV laughed out loud, eyes shining brightly in III's direction, a gruff and crunchy sound coming from his chest.

"Fuck you, at least I'm able to listen to something aside from the sound of my own voice!", IV replied, delighted.

"See? You just started a fight", II joked, making you giggle.

"Even you get into fights like that?", you asked Vessel.

"Me?", the singer asked, scoffing. "No. I'm stoic. Wise. Sensitive. Understanding."

"You're a knobhead, that's what you are", II spat, trying to swallow back his chuckles, making Vessel bark a laugh. "He starts being passive-agressive merely out of boredom! He gives us crossed statements just to watch us react, and when we do, he gets offended!"

"And then all hell breaks loose, and the four of us are fighting four different fights, for four completely different reasons", III swung both his arms in the air, and you fell in yet another laughing fit. "Bet you're wondering what you got yourself into now, aren't you?"

You were, but not for the reasons he thought.

"She's lucky, we're much better nowadays", IV mused, casually grabbing your ankle and placing your foot on his lap, and then the other. "If you think this is bad you should've seen us during the previous tour."

They all groaned.

"Why? What happened then?", you asked.

"What didn't happen", III said, looking in the distance. "Well, for starters, we didn't have anyone as competent as you to help us through it", he offered, taking an adoring sniff from your neck.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. "Well, that's incredibly inconsiderate with the people who actually worked with you", you snorted.

"And you're incredibly modest", II interjected.

"Everything that could've gone wrong went wrong", Vessel recalled, sounding slightly traumatized. "And every concert something new came up."

IV took your right foot in his hands, he closed his right hand in a fist and pressed two knuckles on the ball of your heel, running them upwards to the arch of your sole.

"We had all kinds of tech issues too", IV continued, so casually, it took you a moment to understand he was actually giving you a foot massage. "During one concert, Vessel even kept getting little shocks from the equipment throughout the whole thing."

"Jesus", you breathed out, and you weren't sure if the exclamation was from the information or the massage.

"Yeah", Vessel confirmed, taking another sip from II's glass while picking on the fries. "Our lighting desk was a literal relic, everything was twice as hard to achieve."

IV repeated the motion, but with both his thumbs now, applying the right pressure. He seemed to have found a sore spot you failed to notice. You smothered a whimper inside your throat, but III seemed to have heard it.

He hummed a pleased note, resting his forehead against your temple, caressing your waist over the t-shirt. "During one gig, the whole left-stage circuit stopped working right during The Offering", III recalled.

"I'd have a heart attack if it happened during my watch", you tried to sound casual as they did, and they all smiled at that.

"You stress too much, love", II pointed out. "And if I didn't care so much about the toll it takes on you, I'd find it cute. It's funny to see you extremely stressed and wonderfully happy in the wings while we play. It seems you really love your job."

"It does take a toll on her", IV commented, smoothing his thumbs over the arch of your foot with a little more force. "I can feel it."

The tension you felt IV untying there was overwhelming, and it almost made you cry when relief washed over your nerves. You didn't know what was crazier, the fact that you didn't realize how much tension and pain you were carrying around with you, or the easiness with which IV was pulling them out of you.

"I love my job", you managed push out. "I do it out of love. It's all I have."

The last statement seemed to perk all four pair of ears up. They exchanged looks among themselves, but no one said anything about it.

"We can see that", Vessel offered.

IV started pulling firmly on your toes, and it felt like putting a dislocated bone back on its place. Afterwards, he would caress your foot a few times, and then repeat the exact same movement on the left one. "How long have you been on your feet today?", the guitarist asked softly.

"I couldn't know", you replied. "Fourteen, fifteen hours?"

He merely nodded, focusing his eyes down on your shins. His hand travelled upwards, smoothly, slowly, and he pressed his index and middle finger on the hollow right underneath the tensed muscle of your calf. A pained moan formed in your throat, and this time you were barely able to hold it back.

"I feel like you'd never let some of that stuff happen", IV continued, recalling some of the old concerts. "You're so in tune with our music. You notice the smallest flaws. We've been all more relaxed with you around, we stopped expecting the roof to fall over us."

Your heart was beating so fast and your face felt so hot, you were sure III could feel it. Again, you weren't sure if what caused it was IV's hands massaging your leg, or his words massaging your ego.

"IV...", you called, trying to inject a warning tone into your voice.

He just ignored you, now holding your calf with his whole hand and kneading on it.

"But everything was smaller then", II recalled casually, a knee propped up against his chest while he rested his chin on it. "Granted it was grittier... But we were able to breathe. Now...", there was a pause, and a sigh. A kind of vulnerability, of tiredness, you wouldn't think you'd see on the drummer in a million years.

"Now we got everything we wished for", Vessel continued for him, placing a hand on the back of his neck in a comforting touch. "And nothing this beautiful comes without a price. Now everything is a production. Everything is a statement. We love what we have. Even more so. But there are aspects of it we seemed to have forgotten between tour legs and stage production."

For a second, IV's thumbs working up the side of your calf up to your knee was a second thought. The sheer honesty and vulnerability in the room knocked the air out of your lungs.

"It's exhausting, babe", III confessed in one breath. "Now we're... Statues in a park. Everyone wants to touch us, but no one wants to hear us breathe. And it got harder and harder to remember to just have fun, and love what we do, and love each other."

"And then I saw you", IV chimed in. He stretched your leg across his lap, placed both thumbs on either side of the calf and ran them down back to your ankle with force, tearing down any tension on his path. "Suddenly I was reminded of how and why some people love what they do", he made a point by pressing on the gap between your calf and your shin, so much hidden pain there made you yelp and hiss. III held you tighter, and IV started caressing the spot with the tip of his fingers in circular motion, until the pain soothed.

"You'll have to forgive me, darling, but it's very pretty", IV continued. "Watching you work, that is. You look immersed, but also so deeply present, aware."

"So happy too", II added. "Are you aware that you smile the whole time?", he asked, watching you shake your head. "You do. And during the concerts is when you shine. It's a shame we can't just stop and watch. You sing a lot too, seem very enthralled by the concert."

"I wish I could stop and watch you guys", you smiled, getting another one in return. "And I try, when I can", you confessed.

IV's hands left your leg for just a second. He only meant to take the now empty plate and wine glass that were resting on your lap and place them down on the coffee table. You had to bite back a complaint about the absence of his touch, and suddenly realized how ridiculous your situation was.

This was the band you worked for. Granted you were hired under their label, but they were practically your employers. Getting caught in dark corners with their bassist was bad enough, but being served wine and food by them while you sit on his lap?

Their guitarist giving you a foot massage while you wear the singer's clothes? You should be ashamed of yourself.

And yet, you craved more.

"Having you loving the music so much, having so much fun with the concert, helps us remember to love it and have fun with it too. Performing tastes different with you watching", Vessel completed.

Your face and neck felt hot, but you didn't find any words to answer them.

IV was back with his hands on your legs. Now, it didn't feel like a massage anymore - just caresses. His whole, open hand slid from your calf to the back of your knee.

When he found the tensed tendons there, at first he merely tapped his fingers there, almost as he plays his guitar. Your skin has been permanently pebbled into goosebumps since he started, but now that seemed to amuse him, a relaxed grin playing on his lips. His fingers stopped tapping and found the soft flesh in between the tendons, at the center of the back of your knee, and he just caressed you there, tight circles that seemed simple, even a little weird, but so imbued with promises.

"IV...", you tried to warn again.

"Yes, darling?", he sounded annoyingly innocent.

"I really appreciate your care, but I think you should stop." You really would've sound convincing if your voice didn't waver so much, and if your phrase hadn't been punctuated by a half-broken moan you had to let out when he pressed a sore muscle on your thigh.

"Why?", he asked, fake innocence shining bright in his blue irises. "Doesn't it feel good?"

"That's not the point", you stuttered.

"What is the point then? That this is unprofessional?", he asked, never interrupting the massage.

III pushed your hair away from your neck and start peppering kisses on it, squeezing your waist.

"To say the least", you tried to scoff, but it just came out as a dreamy sigh.

"Good thing you're off the clock then", he simply said, kissing your knee.

You looked around, and Vessel and II were talking amongst themselves. You couldn't focus on what they were saying. Your eyes turned back to IV when he placed a chaste kiss slightly higher.

Suddenly, you realized the grip IV had on you might've been strong and firm, but it wasn't demanding or possessive. If you wanted to, you could just pull your leg back and stand up, put some distance between the two of you. The problem is that you didn't.

He kept peppering your knee with kisses, looking straight at you, reminding you of an elegant big cat, waiting to pounce. It felt like at the slightest slip, the faintest permission you give him, he would be on you in the blink of an eye.

"I shouldn't... I can't", you managed to whisper. "I should get back to my room..."

"Oh, I hear you", IV cooed. "But 'shouldn'ts', and 'can'ts' aren't very convincing, are they", he considered, grazing his teeth on the skin of your knee, making you gasp. "Tell me you don't want this, and I'll let you go."

It sounded sweet, but it was a challenge nonetheless. He looked straight into your eyes, and you held your breath, hating yourself for not being able to say it.

II and Vessel stood up and came closer to you, making your stomach drop. You were crazy, that was the only reasonable explanation. You were imagining all of this.

Vessel sat on the floor next to the loveseat, and stretched his arm towards you, grasping your wrist and bringing the back of your hand to his mouth. He kissed it, and it wasn't sexual, maybe not even romantic, just caring, soft. Something you had to brace yourself for, something your mind needed and only now let your brain know.

II sat down on top of the coffee table, in front of you, eyes guarded.

"I have to be up at 6 am for load-out tomorrow", you tried to tell the drummer. He's the most reasonable of the four, you were sure he would understand. "What would they think if I—"

"The door is closed, love", he said, eyeing the door, making you look in that direction too. "They aren't allowed in here, as well as their opinions. Is this the only thing stopping you?"

No. No, it wasn't. But there wasn't enough time in the world to voice all your fears.

Fear of losing your job, fear of using them, fear of being used by them, fear of trying to reach for the stars and ended up falling in a ditch. You must've looked so lost in his eyes. II smiled with the warmth of someone who's trying to comfort a frightened animal.

"You don't need to blindly trust us right away", he continued, brushing a piece of your hair from your forehead, rough fingers leaving a blazing trail on your skin. "I know you're suspicious of us, as you should. But it's been a while since I wanted something as bad as I wanna keep you safe. Whenever you feel unsafe, come to me, and I'll take you back, I'll take you to the bus, the green room, to your room, to anybody else's room, wherever you tell me you wanna go. I'll do it. When you feel you shouldn't be where you are, remember this."

You swallowed dryly, licking your lips. His eyes followed your tongue, and then snapped back to your eyes. He nodded, and you mimicked his action. II huffed through his nose and smiled.

"That said, tell me, love", he leaned closer, his breath fanning over your face, while IV continued to kiss and caress your leg, III kept squeezing your waist, Vessel kept his lips pressed on your hand. "Should I take you back to your room?"

For a second, you felt a fast pulsing all over you, and thought it was your heartrate going nuts. Then you realized III's heart was beating almost as fast and hard as yours.

You shook your head no, and his smile grew bigger. "Stay with us, then. And leave your work - our work, outside, eh?", and when you nodded yes, he breathed "Good girl", which sent the butterflies in your stomach into overdrive.

"You've been taking such good care of us, of our work, for weeks now", IV continued, now kneading the soft flesh on the back of your thighs. "You've given us everything in you, haven't you?"

You managed to push out a small chuckle. "No", you said, feeling III nibble on the tip of your ear. "Not yet."

III huffed a laugh against your ear, giving you chills.

IV did the same against your knee. "Not yet", he repeated. "I watch you all the time in the wings", he continued. "You're the only one not checking your watch, anxious for it to be over, so you can rest, even though you're the one who deserves it the most. To everyone else here we're just... Schedule. But not to you. We're not work to you."

"No...", you swallowed.

And it was true. Everything that involved the concerts might've been work, but not them. Not making sure they were safe, that you did everything you could, maybe more even, so they could do their best on stage. No, that wasn't work for you. That was... Something else.

"So you can believe me when I say you're not work to us, either", IV suggested. It wasn't exactly a question.

"I don't wanna ruin this", you confessed, hoping that he, or anyone of them, would have a solution for you.

III laughed beside you, a set of teeth skimming over your jaw. "But I think you'll ruin us", he joked, making your stomach clench.

Both the bassist and the guitarist chuckled.

"You wouldn't ruin anything, angel", Vessel said softly against the palm of your hand. "And we don't wanna ruin anything for you either. As IV said, you've given us so much already, but I'm greedy", he placed your hand on the crook of his neck, where you could feel his heat, where you could feel the way he was breathing heavily. "Just give us this one thing. Stay."

IV's hands hiked up to the middle of your thigh, and he placed a few kisses there, while his hands travelled all over the skin as if he was trying to memorize it. "Give me this, darling", IV nothing but begged, "Please."

You sucked in a jagged breath, your legs trembling as you opened them slightly, almost imperceptibly, out of reflex. "Okay...", you finally managed to say. "Okay."

Something in the air shifted, the room suddenly charged with a different energy, as if they all took a collective breath. IV looked up from your leg into your eyes, a mixture of excitement and surprise, like even he couldn't believe you finally said yes. His eyes darkened, and your breath hitched.

You heard a low, victorious growl from III by your ear. He sank his teeth carefully on the soft skin of your neck, pulling on it a little. When you turned your head to face him, he attacked your lips, his mouth on yours until you're were sighing in relief.

IV adjusted his position on the loveseat, placing your legs on each side of him, now focusing on your left thigh, running his fingers from the inside of your knee up to the hem of the boxer briefs you were wearing. When his lips joined his hands, you whined and grabbed his wrist, not to stop him, but in a futile attempt to ground yourself. He laced his fingers with yours.

II stood up beside you, and every muscle in your body tensed. You pulled away from the bassist to look at him, lips red and swollen, hair messy again from where III was holding your head with his whole hand, eyes glassy. Something dark lingered behind II's eyes, something that made your stomach coil, you tilted your face upwards, and he placed a firm, rough hand on your jaw.

The feeling of having your head cradled by II's powerful hands in such delicate way made your eyes flutter shut. His fingers slid from under your chin to the base of your ear, and then they hooked on the hair at the back of your neck, his powerful fingertips massaging your scalp there. You opened your mouth to say something, but you forgot what it was.

"I'm not gonna overwhelm you tonight", II said, exhaling heavily as if it pained him to say such thing. "Make sure she's well rested tomorrow. And take her to a proper bed."

"Oh, we will", III mumbled against the hollow of your throat.

He stepped away, and you had to use every fiber in your body not to grab onto his arm and beg him to stay. You just watched as his hands left you to touch Vessel's shoulder.

"Come to bed, luv", II said to him.

Vessel stood up, leaned over you to kiss your temple, and they both disappeared behind the bedroom door.

Your eyes finally went back to the men on the loveseat with you and your heart fluttered. You've never seen hunger quite like the one you saw in your guitarist's eyes. It felt like he was hanging on for dear life onto his last thread of sanity.

III gathered your hair on the back of your head in a ponytail he could pull on. You thought he would yank you into one of those kiss that knocked the air out of your lungs, but he just kept your face turned to IV's direction. Your chest heaving while the guitarist kissed a trail from your shin to the top of your thigh.

Getting again to the hem of Vessel's boxers, he licked a hot stripe across your thigh and scraped his teeth there. You hissed and pulled your leg back in an impulse, but a strong hand around your ankle kept you there.

"Your skin feels better than I imagined", he mumbled against your thigh, breathing hot on your skin. "You had me the moment I laid eyes on you during that soundcheck, did you know that?"

You shook your head, overwhelmed to know he had been thinking about you since the start. "No...", you whined again.

"It was so hard for us, to stay away, to let you breathe", III said from your hair. "The way you move, the clothes you wear, I watched you, thought about you, everyday, and fucking II", he snorted and you turned to look at him. "He kept us at bay, saying we better stay away, let you come to us."

"Fucking torture, is what it was", IV continued. "Then I had to sit back, watching you look at me like this", he tipped his chin towards you, reaching up to caress your face. "Watching those tossers in the crew flirt with you, crowd you, breathe you air", he bit on the skin of your thigh rather harshly.

III scoffed again, voice suddenly laced with irony and rage. "Fuck's sake, yeah. Had to hear Sam talking about you to his friends more than once. Wanted to rip his jaw open", you would've rolled your eyes if you had any control over your body. "Tell her, Ivy. Tell her what you felt when you heard Sam talking about her. Tell her what you thought about Andy when we thought he was interested in her."

IV huffed and groaned against your skin. He hiked up your leg, coaxing you to wrap yourself around him. "Whenever I saw you smiling at one of them I wanted to just take you. Pull you into one of those empty hallways and make sure I'm the one on your mind, like you were on mine. I thought...", he hesitated for a heartbeat. "I thought they weren't worthy of you. No one's gonna treat you like I can."

They both groaned, each nibbling on the piece of skin they could reach.

It was like interacting with two heads of the same beast. They laughed together, completed each other's sentences, panted in unison.

The guitarist moved to lean over you, his hips now pressed against your core. He deliberately skipped your underwear, pushing Vessel's t-shirt upwards slightly, bunching it up over your ribs. His hands splayed over your hips while he left scorching kisses on your navel, up your stomach, on your lower ribs.

"IV...", you moaned, hands reaching to grab tufs of blonde hair.

He groaned against your skin at the feeling of your nails on his scalp. "I observed everything", he let out in a breath, raising his head to look at you in the eye. "How your hair falls over your face when you're tired. How you talk to our equipment like you're training puppies when no one's looking", he huffed a small laugh.

III pushed you delicately until you were sitting up, and he moved to sit sideways, his back against the armrest, you between his legs. "Are you good with dogs, Giggles?", he asked, sliding his hands up your t-shirt, cupping your breasts lightly while IV lavished on the skin on your stomach. "Because Ivy over here can be such an obedient one. He'll do anything for the right treat."

Anything?

"Anything", IV echoed. "I remember thinking I'd be happy to sleep curled up by your feet forever. You'll say jump, I'll ask how high", he pushed further, sandwiching you between the two of them. "Let me show you what I mean. Please."

Your touch in his hair slipped down, you caressed his face, and your index finger traced his lips. He sucked your finger inside his mouth, and you felt his hot tongue against it. "Show me", you said.

He hitched even closer, practically laying on top of you. "I'm not a nice bloke, darling", he nuzzled into your face. "And I'm not an easy man to hold. If you let me in, it's gonna be messy, so I'm giving you one last chance", he kissed your cheek, and your hands went to his face, making him groan and sigh at your touch, eyes fluttering shut, while III's hands traveled all over your torso. "Tell me to go away. If you don't, I'm gonna take everything."

The proximity of his face coaxed you to finally kiss him. Even though you felt desperate, your first kiss was shy, merely a touch on his upper lip, when he exhaled a shuddering breath on your face, and deepened the kiss. With III, it was a thunderstorm, pouring down over you all at once.

But with IV, it came in waves.

The first thing your brain noticed was his breathing pattern, erratic, desperate, carrying with it a whimpering, almost pathetic little sound. Then you noticed how much he uses his teeth, not to hurt, just an attempt to take more from you than you were giving, nipping at your lip and the tip of your tongue. And finally, the flick of his tongue on yours, a simple, slick gesture so terribly imbued with something sweeter than promises, and twice as dangerous.

III pulled you up flushed against his chest, and he reached for your thighs, nudging them to open further for his bandmate. IV braced himself on one arm, the rest of his weight pressing you down on III, protective, comforting even, something that could help you sleep if it wasn't so hot. His other hand left your hip and came to rest on your jaw, tilting your face up so he could deepen the kiss even more.

He caught your upper lip between his, pulling on it as he backed away, opening his eyes slowly and smiling at you, a drunken expression on his face, a fine thread of saliva stretching between you two. He dived in again for another kiss, this one more frantic, his tongue exploring, inquisitive, swirling with yours while you tried to keep up. The tip of his tongue tickled the roof of your mouth and you sobbed inside the kiss.

Before breaking the kiss, his lips closed around your tongue and sucked on it lightly, a wet, gentle, slippery pull on the muscle, tugging a moan from the back of your head. Hot, sexy, grounding in equal measure, like he was. Every nerve in your body trembled, every breath felt shallower, your hand shook violently as you tried to hold onto his shoulder.

He took the hand and kissed it, and then handed it to III in the same way they were sharing that bourbon glass earlier. The bassist took your wrist, pulling it slightly over your head, kissing your knuckles, the tips of your fingers, lapping at them to taste the salt from IV's skin on you. Meanwhile, IV leaned down for yet another kiss, holding your jaw, licking inside your mouth as if he was trying to drink you up.

While kissing III made you feel like you've never been truly kissed before, kissing IV felt familiar, like you two have been kissing for incarnations on end. And he felt it too, you could tell. You felt in the way he seemed to know when to flick his tongue inside your mouth, the exact position he would slot his body against yours to make you feel him pulsing, how much force to use to grip your jaw to rile you up without hurting you.

Like he had loved your body a million times before.

III pushed you forward gently, making you sit up. IV welcomed you in his arms, sitting up on his calves, pulling you into his own lap now. The bassist wrapped the longest, strongest looking fingers you've ever seen around your jaw to the point that it hurt slightly, a stark contrast to the sweet, worshipping touch IV had there.

He sank his teeth on your neck, and when you winced, he licked the same spot lovingly. IV's eyes were big and swimming in adoration, his breathing laboured. He licked his lips and swallowed thickly.

His voice was wavering, thin, desperate. "Let me take you to my bed", he asked. "Please. I wanna lay you down on it, have your smell on my pillow when you leave in the morning. Please, let us carry you. I don't want your feet touching this floor again tonight."

You swallowed slowly, nodding once, overwhelmed with his devotion. IV wrapped his arms around your waist, and you wrapped your legs around his hips. The guitarist lifted you up, both strong, veiny, firm hands under your thighs.

Once you were both up, III rose from his spot on the couch, adjusting himself in his sweatpants and running his fingers through his hair. He went ahead of you to get the door open.

In that moment, it didn't cross your mind the possibility of being seen by someone in the hallway in that situation. Your brain was foggy, your muscles completely relaxed, every nerve ending pulling you to lean into the heat of the man carrying you. Luckily, no one was there to see you being carried by IV into his room, while his lips pressed kisses in your neck and chest, like dots on a map he already knew by heart.

III opened the door to IV's room and instead of turning the lights on, he went to the bedside table and only turned on one lampshade. The room was flooded in that dark amber, soft light, that seemed to take the edge off of everything. The guitarist put you down on the mattress carefully, letting your back rest softly on his pillows.

It was slightly disappointing, in a way, that hotel rooms are so impersonal, and the only thing smelling like IV there was himself. With that in mind, you clung to him, not wanting to spend even a second apart from his heat and his perfume. The guitarist held you close, lightly chuckling against your hair.

III climbed on the bed next you, and you tilted your head to take a better look at him. He looked criminally good in that setting, dark grey shirt and black sweats, messy white hair haphazardly pushed away from his forehead. He caught your gaze and kept you there, staring you down for an instant before cradling your head between his hands.

"Are you alright, Giggles?", he asked with a surprising softness. "Do you need to tap out? We're here for you, we'll only go as far as you want us to."

Something in your stomach turned with the implications of his statement. You hesitantly pulled away from both of them, scurrying against the headboard, pressing your back on the pillows.

"I, uh...", you started, fidgeting with Vessel's shirt. "I've never done this before...", you motioned between the three of you.

They exchanged a look between them.

"Do you want to stop here?", IV asked, voice strained but contained. "Do you want one of us to leave? Tell me what to do."

"No", you said way too fast, earning a chuckle from III. The idea of having to choose between them, or not having any of them close to you almost unbearable to your nerves. "No, please don't stop", you breached closer, reaching for the bassist, who groaned a low, rumbling sound, as if he was doing everything in his power not to pounce. "I'm just nervous", you stated.

III gathered you in his arms and kissed the corner of your mouth. "No need to be nervous", he said, kissing the other corner. "Just wanna make you feel good. Wanna appreciate you for all that you are. Do you trust me?"

Did you? This was a question your mouth wanted to answer yes to without giving your brain the chance. Logic would say you had no reason whatsoever to trust these men.

You only knew them for over a month, there was a powerplay aspect to your relationship with them. You could barely call them friends. And yet...

"Yeah...", you gulped. "Yeah, I do", and you close your eyes to the feeling of III covering your mouth with his.

His lips brushed against yours and nudged them open, his tongue slipping in to taste you. He kissed you like he did at the wings, as if he was trying to prove something, if it was to you or himself you couldn't know.

"So trust us to take care of you", IV asked, inching closer while you lost yourself in III's kiss. "I don't want anything for myself this time", he whined, running his big hands over your legs. "I just wanna see you."

You whimpered what was meant to be a yes. III shifted, leaving your lips and going to sit with his back on the pillows beside you. Taking it as your cue, you got on your knees and went to straddle him.

He grabbed your hands and watched as you settled on his lap. He placed your hands on his chest, and groaned when your pussy slotted against his hardness. "Fuck", he moaned, his hands coming to grab you by the hips in a vice hold, to stop you from moving. "Don't look at me like that, Giggles", he murmured, lost in your eyes. "I'm trying really hard here", he huffed an exasperated laugh.

And he was, you could see it, in the way his jaw was set, the harsh grasp he had on your hips, forcing you down but stopping you from moving. They gave you a kind of power you never had before, made you feel drunk on it. You merely smiled.

Taken by a surge of confidence derived from sheer need, you looked over your shoulder. "Won't you join?", you asked IV.

His big blue eyes were glassy, and he was on you in no time. Kneeling behind you, he leaned over to lick a hot stripe from your exposed shoulder to the base of your neck, his hardness pressing against your back. You relished on the weight of his body against you, and despite III's hold on you, you started to move.

III let his head fall back on the headboard and moaned, pushing his hips upwards. IV inhaled deeply with his nose on the back of your neck and chuckled. "You smell like Vessel", he commented, his voice a mixture between amusement and arousal.

The guitarist hiked up your t-shirt. "Let me", not a question, a need. You just raised your arms, and he pulled the shirt over your head, discarding it beside you.

He kissed the newly found skin, pressing his lips to your spine until he reached the clasp of your bra. You looked over your shoulder and nodded once, feeling a deep breath fan over your back while he unclasped it and pushed it off your shoulders, making it fall on III's stomach. The bassist groaned a low rumble as he laid eyes on you.

IV's hands immediately came up to cup your breasts. He rolled your nipples between his fingers, moaning against your shoulder, rutting against you. You whimpered and sobbed, already feeling overstimulated, your hips grinding harder against III.

The three of you kept dry-humping eachother for a while, at some point you managed to get both of their t-shirts off. You sucked on III's neck, kissing down his chest and pulling one of his nipples inside your mouth. His hips stuttered, pressing harder against you.

"Bloody hell", III sat up to breathe against your mouth. "Please don't do that again, I'm gonna burst in my pants like a teenager", he chuckled in between gasps, making you and IV giggle.

Your hands went behind your head to rake your fingers on IV's hair, making him whine pitifully. Something in the way IV's movement dictated your own, making III squirm, as if IV knew how to push the bassist's buttons just right.

The wetness was already seeping through Vessel's boxers, your quiet moans tumbling down your mouth easily. "You're getting frantic, luv", III pointed out, breathlessly. "Come here", he grabbed your face and kissed you deeply. "Turn your back to me. Let me give you what you want."

You turned away from him, pressing your back against his chest. IV looked like a mess, his hair pointing in all directions, pleading eyes unfocused. He lunged towards you, hooking his fingers on the waistband of the boxers.

You lifted your hips, licking your chapped lips. He pulled them down at once, and left them there by your feet. III wrapped his arms around your torso, pressed his lips on your ear, and looked at IV straight in the eye.

"Tell him to watch us", III told you, like a little devil on your shoulder. His hand travelled down, from your breast, to your stomach, resting on top of your right thigh.

You gulped, watching IV leaned over your legs, his eyes travelling over your body to stop on your face. "IV...", you cooed, your voice soft and small across the room. "Look at us", you coaxed, opening your legs for him.

A quiet gasp left his lips, his expression feverish, borderline crazy. He watched without blinking as III cupped your sex, hissing at how wet you already were. The bassist's soaked fingers trailed upwards across your slit, stopping on your clit and circling it tightly and harshly.

You tilted your head back and cried, feeling a relief you couldn't quite name. "Fuck...", you moaned out loud, unable to focus.

"Think you can cum for me like this, pet?", III asked, his breathing laboured, you could feel his chest heaving against you. "Would you be a good girl and soak my fingers for me?", you merely whined, unable to form words. "Answer me", he demanded, slapping your pussy with more force than you expected.

You yelped. The obscene splashing sound seemed to catch both you and IV off guard. Looking at the guitarist was almost unbearable, he just sat back on his knees and watched III's fingers working on your slit, that glistened in the soft light, his icy blue eyes wide, head tilted to the left, mouth slightly agape.

"I can", you managed to push out. "I will", you cried.

III cooed, nuzzling the side of your face. His index and middle finger rubbed up and down each side of your lips, stopping at your clit and squeezing it from time to time. You were escalating quickly, too quickly, and III could feel in the way you started shaking on top of him.

He brought his other hand to your pussy, his ring finger started drawing lazy zigzags on your clit, while he dipped the middle finger of his other hand in your streaming hole, just his first knuckle, that kept pushing in and out of your entrance, not to penetrate, but not to tease either. Just to stimulate. You grabbed his forearm, some form of lifeline, anything.

IV saw your need for grounding as an opportunity. He came crawling to you to stay by your side, one hand on your thigh to keep your legs open, and the other he offered for you to hold.

"You're doing so well, darling", he cooed, kissing your knuckles. "Don't hold back, don't try to prolong it. We have all the time in the world to do it again, right now we just wanna see it. Let us help you get there."

Your back arched with the way III was playing you, a devastating orgasm starting to fizz from your bones to the surface of your skin. You called both their names, a strangled moan snagged in your throat, tears in your eyes.

"That's it, baby, let it come. Please let us see it", III encouraged, as it crashed over you.

A strangled cried left your mouth, opened so wide it nearly hurt your jaw. Your eyes closed as your heard both of them moan a prolonged "Fuuuck", as they watched you.

You felt yourself soaked between your legs, still suspended in your high, III's fingertip still moving, not allowing you to fully come down yet. You were seeing stars, muscles shaking from overstimulation. When your eyes refocused, you saw IV's, those Arctic Rivers, frantic, crazy, unhinged.

"That was so pretty, darling", he said, trembling. "You're so beautiful, you're perfect", he offered, forehead pressing against yours. "Please, let me see if I can find the rest of it for you. Yeah?", he pleaded. "I know you have more in you."

IV didn't wait for your answer. He scrambled to sit beside III, and tugged your limp body to him until you were sitting against him, legs spreaded, just like you were with III. His middle finger slid along the center of your soaking slit, from top to bottom, and a shuddering breath fanned over your hair.

"Fucking finally", he moaned, hot and syrupy.

His chest started heaving behind you, circling your oversensitive clit a few times, your thighs threatening to close. III held them down, one hand on your right knee, the other replacing IV's on your clit. He touched you just right, not too much pressure, not too little, just enough to make you sob.

IV's middle finger dipped down and breached you, sliding inside achingly slow to its hilt. You clamped down on it and fluttered around it non-stop, eliciting whimpering moans and curses from him. He stopped there for a moment, sobbing by your ear.

His sounds were doing it for you as much as his finger. You almost asked him to stop, way past overstimulation, feeling like you would burst into tears for the lack of an appropriate response. You closed your eyes shut, your face all scrunched up by pleasure.

"Open your eyes, lamb", III demanded. "Look at him, listen to him. See what you did? He's pathetic for you."

You looked up at IV's face over your shoulder. It was as pained as yours.

"You're even more beautiful than I imagined", he rasped, his finger pulling out of you and plunging in again. "And I imagined you so many times." The confession made you clench around his finger again, imagining him thinking about you. "I stripped you off in my head, again and again," he inhaled your scent. "Do you want another finger?"

Your mouth tied a string of "yes, yes, yes".

IV eased his ring finger inside, exhaling a shaky breath as your tightness clamped a vice grip around his digits.

"Everytime you had your back to me with your hair up, I stared at the back of your neck imagining what you would taste like if I just...", and he licked a stripe on your shoulder, biting down on the skin afterwards. "I laid there on my bunk or hotel room, and reconstructed your voice in my head, trying to pitch it higher, trying to hear what it would sound like if I made you gasp."

His fingers curled upwards in a beckoning motion, pressing against your front wall. You gasped loud, more sob than breath.

"Yeah, like this", he cooed, kissing the shell of your ear. "Beautiful. Perfect. It was torture for me, watching you being 'professional' while I was burning alive. I wanted to scream at you to stop being so competent", he chuckled, and III followed him. "I saw the way you look at me, I saw you looking at my face, in my eyes, at my hands... And ever since then, I've been thinking about having you right here, just like this, my fingers buried deep in you, your juices soaking my sheets, for so long..."

You choked on your moan, your hand grabbing weakly at his bicep. "You can't—", your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he tried to reach deeper inside you. "You can't say shit like this", you breathed, barely able to hear yourself through the noise of your blood ringing in your ears.

"It's true", he said gently. The pad of the two fingers inside you softly, slowly dragging across your front wall, as if looking for something. They found a tender, spongy piece of tissue a little further down, that made you cry out. "Is it here?", he tapped it three times and your eyes filled with tears.

"Fuck, yes...", you sobbed. "Please, don't stop."

"I'm not stopping, darling", he kissed your cheek, nudged the side of your face with his nose until you turned your head to kiss him. His tongue slid over yours and swiped from it to the roof of your mouth. He pulled back with a wet sound. "This is where I'm staying."

"More", you drawled, letting your hands rest on his thick thighs and squeeze him there.

"More what, princess?", he asked. IV didn't stop, a very slow but steady pace, just tapping on that spot deep inside you. "More fingers?"

"Yes...", you cried, tipping your head against his shoulder.

He looked at III. "She wants one more finger", he stated, as if you were a queen making demands.

The bassist stopped his attention on your clit, withdrawing just enough to adjust himself by your side. He leaned over both of you, and kissed you deeply as his hand moved to cover the one IV had inside you. His middle finger breached underneath IV's and pushed up, sliding in easily, longer and thicker than IV's, reaching deeper.

You were convulsing intensely around them, making both of them groan and pant.

"Does that feel good, lamb?", III asked pressing his forehead to yours. "Give it to me one more time, yeah?"

IV increased the speed of his taps, and brought his other hand to your neglected clit, the pad of his ring finger flat against it as he rubbed left to right. III pushed his finger in and out of your streaming hole until your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you were seeing stars. Your nails clamped down on IV's thighs, and you arched your back away from him.

Something snapped inside of you, like a string pulled too tight for too long. Pleasure, relief, overstimulation, and feelings you couldn't name, washed over you, pulling you under to a fuzzy, hot tide.

If someone said the scream that you heard wasn't yours, you would've believed it, if it wasn't for the immediate soreness in your throat. You never heard that voice before. You also never squirted in your life before.

Your squirt drenched both of the men's hands, as well as IV's bed linen. Their fingers remained inside you, relishing on the strong grip your cunt kept pulling them in.

IV nearly sobbed again. "That beautiful cunt of yours doesn't want to let me go", he pointed out, voice strained.

"I think it means she has one more for us", III stated, also out of breath, chuckling quietly when he saw the panicked look on your face.

"No, no, no", you breathed. "I can't take it-" Your plea got caught in your throat when IV pressed on your front wall again, making you cry out. "I can't", you sobbed. "Guys, it's too much!"

"You can, darling", IV cooed. "You're doing so well for us", he kissed your temple. "One more, and I'll be the happiest man in the world", he started moving his fingers in and out of you rapidly. "Please give it to me."

III started pistoning his finger as well, one second slower than IV. The lack of synchronization making sure you're being touched in all the right places at all times, your body almost going limp if it wasn't for the frantic spasms they wouldn't allow to stop.

"Fuuuuck", you screamed pathetically, using the last of your strength to keep bracing yourself on IV's thighs and squeeze their fingers inside you.

"That's it, baby, cum for me", the guitarist coaxed you, his voice muffled against your neck. "Cum for me, darling. Let me see it. Please, just one more time. You're so beautiful like this."

He kept mumbling sweet nonsense in your ear, sometimes sounding completely lost in his own feelings. He moaned in unison with you, making it clear that he was almost getting as much gratification as you were.

"Can't wait to have you under me", III groaned next to your face. "Split that pretty little cunt on my cock while you moan like that. Tell me you never touched yourself thinking about it."

The mental images you had of them, all of them, came flooding your mind. The situations you imagined yourself in with them late at night, making yourself come to help you sleep.

III bouncing you on his cock relentlessly until you're mere putty in his hands, mumbling only nonsense. That does it for you. The overstimulation combined with their relentless touching, and III's promise of more, of future, crashed from behind your insides and came spilling down your legs, your throat scraped raw only letting out strangled moans pushing from behind your closed lips, all bitten and chapped after what just happened.

Only a succession of pained and desperate "Mmmmmm" could be heard from you, paired with their laboured breathing.

All of your bones liquified, your head lolled back to rest on IV's shoulder, hands and legs going completely limp while trying to regain your breath. "Oh, fuck", you used your last energy to moan as they retreated their fingers from you. Your eyes lazily turned to IV as he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking his fingers clean and moaning.

"You taste amazing, darling", he breathed. "Fuck, I'm gonna need a fucking minute."

Your half-lidded eyes followed his hand, now resting on his naked chest while it rose up and down abruptly. "What about you?", you asked before you could think.

They both chuckled, dropping their heads.

"In case we failed to make it clear, tonight was about you, little luv", III offered, laughing. "Is there anything left in you anyway?"

Your lips curled upward. "No...", you rasped. "But I'd certainly try."

They bursted into fits of giggles. "We don't fucking deserve you, darling", IV said softly by your ear. "We'll have all the time in the world, later. Let us end this night taking care of you."

You were too weak to protest, and IV's solid, thick body was so warm behind you, the rhythm of his breathing calming down almost lulling you to sleep. He hugged you tightly from behind, whispering sweet, romantic praise and words of affirmation, making your heart flutter and your body relax even further. III got up wobbly, hard-on on full display under his sweats.

He retrieved a bottle of water and handed it to you, encouraging you to drink. He told you you were perfect, that he was the happiest he felt in years. You could only smile stupidly, raising your hand to rest your fingers on his lips to get him to stop talking such nonsense.

He merely grabbed your fingers, playfully biting on them. IV lifted you up and tucked you both in under the covers, discarding the wet-stained throw on the floor. He laid to your left, and III came to lay by your right side, and pulled you to the best spooning session you ever had, your naked body slotting against his clothed one perfectly.

III had his large hand sprawled across your stomach, warm and grounding. You were facing IV, and he grabbed your hand, pushing forward so you could feel his heat, kissing your palm before placing it on his chest. His eyes were the last thing you saw before the dark, warm slumber pulled you in.