After I Act Impulsively on a Behavior

“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.” 

“Using drugs is my passive way of being suicidal. I want to die but i am often too scared to make the attempt. so instead I engage in self destructive behaviors like getting high. I’m very aware that if I don’t stop the drugs will kill me one day. Part of me wishes that day would come soon, while the other smaller part wants me to live.”

Mental illness has a way of desensitizing you to your pain. You're aware you're broken and that it fucking hurts but you've become so accustomed to the tears of your heart that you can spend hours thinking of your own suicide almost casually.

“every time i put myself back together i watch myself fall apart again. and every single time is worse than before.”

“Slipping up doesn’t mean you’re weak, and it does not erase all of your progress. Take some time to care for yourself afterward, and then continue forward.”