Untitled @redgeraniumsclimbingivy - Tumblr Blog

I finally draw a comic for the first time and it's Markiplier making out with Ryan Gosling of all things

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sexy-people-contests-2026

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 3 Part 11

Percival de Rolo (Legend of Vox Machina)

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)

Remaining time: 5 days 26 minutes

authormars

Reblog to claim your badge! Also, Doof voters, I get it, but PLEASE vote for Percy because he needs a win 😭😭😭 I have nine reasons for him to win PLEASE

Percy is a mad scientist just so everyone knows. And a girl dad. And also a boy dad. And also PRIME Tumblr sexyman material

proxy616

Nightcrawler didn’t have a cover for last year’s swimsuit special, so here is my contribution to the brand new beach day.

initially meant for last years Nightcrawler week day 3, but the first version got destroyed along my device :(

bealzebub-after-hours

Thinking about Seb x Yancy.

Yancy working as a bartender at seb's when he gets parrol and falls desperately in love with the way that man plays the piano, the face he makes when concentrating, the way his hands dance across the ivory keys, the way he sways to the song. All of it pulls him deep into a pit of yearning he's never felt before.

The first time Sebastian properly notices Yancy is when he's whistling to himself while whipping down the bar after hours. It's then that seb decides he needs to get that man on stage. He needs to see the way he sways as he sings, he wants to hear every noise that man can make and it's driving him to the brink of insanity!

ratarmorjpeg

is this anything

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viktormaru

foda-se, Mollymauk rainha da bateria kkkkkkk

vulcandroid

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

roachpatrol

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

lilian-cho

@sineala

star-lord

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

moonsofavalon

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

evilminji

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

lierdumoa

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

adreadfulidea-deactivated202402

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

kaijuerotica

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

tanukiham

actual footage of first contact makeouts

saucefactory-deactivated2019103

The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.

That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.

I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.

No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”

explorerrowan

And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.

zinglebert-bembledack

Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.

gallifreyanwriter

#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)

hazeldomain

Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture

Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job

mythunderlegion

idgabuck

Is lixian canon to the streamer Simon au?

That would be hilarious. Just Simon playing a game for a YouTube video and he says “I miss my husband Lixian. Put him in” and Lixian just appears with a drawing of a buff nerdy fox guy and Simon goes “thank you Lixian. I need him for emotional support.”

saffronsagodlyherb

Grace gay as hell statement

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drdunceskull

Zero Gravity

I didn't make them kiss last post... so ya'lls wish is my command!

sexy-people-contests-2026

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 2 Part 32

Dabi/Toya Todoroki (My Hero Academia)

Percival de Rolo (Legend of Vox Machina)

Voting ended onJun 15

sorbusaucuparia

send me a screenshot of a percy vote and a request and I'll make u a doodle

authormars

stinson-png-deactivated20210103

“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”

You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.

bairnsidhe

Listen here, wannabes: My boi Clark is 240 lbs of PURE KANSAS BEEF trained from a young age by Ma Kent to Love and Respect women as the Intelligent, Independent beings they are. He is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pen falls behind it and he would NEVER demand I be sexually or romantically interested just because he’s nice.

Y’all ain’t Clark Kent.

chaosinacoffeecup

I have never hit the reblog button so damn fast.

therobotmonster

“barely a Guy Gardner” is the sickest comics related burn I’ve heard to date.

pollsforadults

Spin the wheel. Now, imagine you're on a first date with someone who says they`re a [result]. How does this affect the odds of a second date?

100% guarantee I'll want a second date

It's significantly more likely

The odds don't change

It's significantly less likely

There wont be a second date. Absolutely not

Voting ended onJun 13

Picker Wheel is a wheel spinner for a random picker. Various functions & customization. Enter choices or names, spin the wheel to decide a r

(anon submission)

#Had to look up what moonies were #Some crazy sect of christianity with mass weddings and the idea that Eve fucked the serpent #No second date from me thank you very much

tobiosty

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8xhale

this was sitting in my head and i finally cleaned it up

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They're just silly

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