You probably weren’t told to settle for less. You were told:
“be grateful for what you have.”
“don’t ask for too much.”
“relationships take sacrifice.”
“you’re lucky to even have someone.”
“you’ll regret it if you leave.”
“good things are hard to find.”
“just be patient, they’ll change.”
“love means sticking it out.”
“stop expecting so much.”
“other people have it worse.”
And slowly, your standards didn’t feel like standards anymore… they felt like problems
You weren’t told to be a people pleaser, you were told:
“don’t make things awkward.”
“think about how they feel.”
“why are you so sensitive?”
“just say yes, it’s easier.”
“they didn’t mean it like that.”
“don’t make everything about you.”
“no one likes difficult people.”
And without realizing it, you learned that being loved meant being low maintenance… quiet about your needs and easy to keep
You weren’t told to abandon yourself. You were told:
“you’re making it bigger than it is.”
And slowly you stopped trusting your own feelings… and started questioning your own reality
You weren’t told to shrink yourself. You were told:
“not everything needs to be shared.”
“don’t make people feel bad.”
“you don’t need all that attention.”
“don’t get ahead of yourself.”
“not everyone needs to know your business.”
And over time your confidence started to feel like too much… and your light started to feel like something to dim
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