when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro

there is something erotic about irritating a man. i’m really enjoying pissing you off. do you want fuck me yet

This is the best fanfiction of any fandom I've ever read

"lol can't believe they just let rizzo the rat do a full on zero-irony cover of a currently-popular song" you guys don't get itttt this is what the muppets were literally created to do. we're so back. you have no clue.

It kind of fucks with me that somebody killed ötzi the iceman because ötzi himself is like whatever but the silent presence of human hands that drew back the string of the bow that shot the arrow that killed him is crazy. the idea that there were various people involved in that situation and while one of them has had his last hours painstakingly reconstructed and studied to no end, the others now only exist insofar that an arrowhead had to get into his shoulder somehow. imagine killing someone and then suddenly your entire existence is only a vague shadow implied by the fact that you killed them. much to consider

Testing the mummified bone marrow of ötzi to figure out his ancestry whole time there’s definitely another person, maybe more than one, standing in the room with us but I can never see or speak to them because I only know them through the assurance that they were there too in the form of one single arrowhead. I hate prehistory so much it’s unreal