grlbrlborpglopplbl

how about i list some potential answers and you guys get to guess which one actually happened

got shot at

homestuck cop follows me

i'm on house arrest

my identity was stolen

helping my neighbor file a complaint after an officer called her a slur

i was a witness to a robbery

someone mixed up my number with a guy who's car got stolen and they're supposed to let me know when they fix it

post cool art (i want to see it)

be funny

hack into my account because they think i won't notice

start drama

resolve drama

find themself in a specific problem/crisis that only i can fix (you're on your own)

deactivate

change their pfp or url

ask their crush out

similar events to those described above in which something interesting happens and i'm not around to witness and/or post about it

once i have finished the campaign, i will most certainly have brainworms about it and will, as a result, be unable to not post about it. so if you want to avoid spoilers (or don't care about splatoon) feel free to blacklist the tag "#splatoon 3 spoilers" (these will be under a readmore as well)

@abraxas-calibrator2 (actually me)

@blue-swimmerz

@gold-swimmerz

@red-swimmers

@red-sinkerz

@redswimmerz

@abraxascalibrator

@antibraxas-calibrator

@abraxsaint-peter

@abraxas-calculator

@abrasive-california

@abraxas-cailbrator

@abraxas-halibrator

@rotarbliac-saxarba

post "you all can pry starbucks vriska out of my cold, dead hands"

accidentally reoly to post saying "swimz nobody is trying to take starbucks vriska away from you" on main instead of secret alt account that is used to start fake drama

i am exposed for being a conman

hate club screenshots the post, callout is written, etc etc

with the exception of 4/22 and a few days back in august, yep it's just me!!!