Hurt But Healing

They typical anorexic is shown as the perfect, smiling student, studying the whole night, getting perfect grades, doing workout after workout and never eating

And while that may be true for some, in my experience most people are totally different from what's known as the perfect anorexic.

For me it's struggling the whole day and night, if I should eat, what I should eat.

It's struggling to even get up because your body can't take starvation anymore.

It's sleeping the whole day, because you're missing nutrients and you were kept awake by your thoughts the whole night.

It's being freezingly cold, which results in you not being able to do anything with your fingers for example writing.

It's the time consumption taking everything away from you. Your family, your hobbies, your school work.

It's binging that makes you feel like you failed as an anorexic.

Not only your organs failing but also your will to live, your energy, your grades, your hygiene, your hobbies, your friends, your family.

me: “well, either i eat nothing or i binge trash. you decide.”

For me it's a split between Kim Possible's Shego and the hypnotised-Princess Jasmine in the red outfit. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be them or be friends with them. Now I understand that I wanted to be WITH them!