honestly some of y’all want a significant other so badly and can’t understand why you can’t find one, but have no sense of boundaries or healthy expectations of what a relationship is like. in a committed long-term partnership you get left on read, you wait for texts back, and you can forget about each other when you’re busy. sometimes you fall asleep without saying goodnight and sometimes you’re too caught up to text each other before 6pm. that’s how it is. thinking that you can’t be deeply, beautifully in love and still wait more than “1.75 hours” for a text back is such an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of what love is, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t allow the other person to exist on their own apart from you. if you’re projecting your anxieties and insecurities onto a partner who doesn’t even exist yet, then you aren’t ready for one.
I totally disagree with this. I’m one of those people who strangled everything that showed me love and my insecurities would always make me distrust everything. I had no idea how to control it. I just know that I had so much love to give but my insecurities hunted me so much that I became the “clingy” gf. and posts like this would only emphasize how insecure I was an make things worse for me.... post like this made me feel hopeless because it wasn’t something I could control no matter how much I tried. Till I found someone who actually accepted that side of me. No one else did. Everyone felt the same exact way this post feels. But not him. And because him I’m free. Yes I understand this a battle with myself but sometimes you need help. Accept help from people who REALLY care about you. In my case it was only him. He understood and he took on the roaring storm that was my mental illness. It took time but eventually my storm flew past and I’m doing so much better with my insecurities. I went from being that gf who read all the messages to not even thinking about it anymore. From insecure about the relationship to trusting in the person I love. You see for people like us who haven’t ever felt like they could trust anyone makes post like this is very disheartening because we feel hopeless since we already know our minds are winning. For a long time I felt so freaking hopeless because times passed and no matter what I did, I wasn’t changing and I know people disliked the type of person I was... and I hated it... I hated that I had to change soooo much of myself for people I’m just meeting just to give them what they wanted.... someone who wasn’t mentally fucked up like I was.
I met him at my lowest point in life. I had already prepared to commit suicide and was “ready” for it. I stopped caring completely about myself, my “friends”, my family. I was done with everything. I had no. Purpose to live. And something brought me to him and he showed me a different side to people. And then he showed me he could handle my storm of emotions and rules. He understood all of it. Most importantly he understood that this wasn’t who I really was. That so many years of abuse and so many years of heartbreak from friends and significant others had really really made a deep scar in me and he didn’t fucking judge me for it. Instead he helped me out. He wanted to learn my thought process and how to help not trigger things. He took care of me with patience and love. And 4 years later I don’t have a need to look at his phone at all, I have no need to worry when we are apart, and many more things I used to worry about. Coming back from wanting to kill myself because I had lost all hope I would ever feel anything but pain is so hard... so fucking hard. And I’m grateful to him for being through it all and not bringing something like this post up to me. He loved me unconditionally. So yes I totally disagree with this. Never hide who you really are because even though most people don’t accept it because “no one likes a sad girl” there are people out there who will accept that side of you. The only thing is make sure you actually want to get out of your depression and insecurities because if you cling on to it, there won’t be any progression and thing might turn out like this always do. So make sure you actually want to get better instead of dragging someone down with you.
Sorry for shitty grammar and sorry for probably not making sense but not everything is black and white like this post makes it out to be.
