Rebloged Content

Jason Todd stares at him from across the desk, tears and snot streaming down his face, and Bruce freezes.

“I don’t know how to hook up the new dryer i bought for my apartment and now my landlord is asking for bank statements to prove i can pay rent and my wifi keeps fucking up and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WATER PRESSURE IS,” Jason wails, distraught and sobbing harder than Bruce has ever seen before. he fumbles, jaw dropping, as Jason swipes at his eyes, sniffing. “THIS ISN’T FAIR,” he cries wetly. “I DIED BEFORE I LEARNT ABOUT TAXES, WHAT THE FUCK IS A STOCKS ISA??!”

Bruce bites his lip, deciding to not show his slight amusement. “Oh, chum,” he empathises.

“THIS IS SO FUCKED UP.”

“I know, I know,” he soothes, holding his hands up in submission and carefully moving forward so he could place them comfortingly on Jason’s shoulder. did he know what was going on? absolutely the fuck not. was he going to question it and scare away his apparently-not-dead-son? absolutely the fuck not. “How about some warm milk and cookies, and then you can show me the files that confuse you?”

Jason sniffs. “…and then the dryer?”

“I can hook up your dryer, chum.”

“…I’m not gonna stop being a crime lord,” his son warns, shamelessly using Bruce’s sleeve to wipe away the snot dribbling down his lip. Bruce bits his lip again.

“Let’s not worry about that right now. One problem at a time.”

“I also own zero spoons.”

“There’s some in the kitchen you can steal.”

and like, he’d drop it at the most random times, because he genuinely doesn’t believe it’s all that interesting.

so here’s some good potentials.

dinner at wayne manor-

duke: so like, a cult is-

bruce, without pausing his eating or looking up: i was kidnapped by a cult when i was eighteen. they wanted to drain my blood.

everyone:

tim: what the fuck bruce

alfred, passing through: ah yes, i had almost forgotten. no one speak his name, or he will know master bruce survived.

the rest of the table:

in the batcave-

jason: being buried alive is a very traumatizing experience, i’ll have you know.

bruce: yeah, i got mud all in my mouth cause it was raining.

the kids:

bruce: oh, and i broke the casket when i finally got it open, so i had to get my dad a new one.

jason: what the fuck

on patrol-

steph: hey, bruce! if you were to go back in time, would you go to, like, fifties bop or midwestern cowboys

bruce: well, the midwestern cowboys were sort of fun, but there was this one guy shooting everyone with a gun from the future, and i had to fight robot pterodactyls. so i guess if i didn’t have to deal with that, the widwestern would be more fun.

the coms:

barbara: bruce what the fuck

the dinner table, again-

dick: i’m just saying, arkham isn’t the best mental institution to base your opinion on.

bruce: it was a lot worse in the eighties. the food was awful and the doctor only wanted to experiment on me.

the kids:

dick: what the fuck

alfred, passing through: master bruce, how many times do i need to apologize for that before you cease bringing it up?

bruce:

the batcave, again-

damian: from what i’ve researched, dent was fairly intelligent before he succumbed to his insanity, and-

bruce: actually, harvey cheated off of me whenever he could, which didn’t actually make any sense, because he was studying law and i was studying medicine, but most of those grades are mine, anyways. and some are probably harley’s and john’s, i’d bet.

everyone:

duke: what the fuck

on a stakeout-

jason: i’m just saying, old man. if you’d kill the joker i-

bruce: well, i did try.

jason:

bruce: stupid kryptonians getting in the way.

jason:

the coms:

jason: what the fuck.

on patrol, again-

cass: poison ivy and harley quinn were spotted downtown, two of us should-

bruce: oh! i forgot i scheduled dinner with them. you kids have patrol covered, right?

the coms:

damian: what the fuck

in the living room, watching an action movie-

bruce: this reminds me of the time i climbed mount everest.

the kids:

stephanie: what the fuck ?

in the hall, looking at the new family portrait-

bruce: you know, when i was a kid i tried to get alfred into the family portrait because he was dating my parents and we all wanted him to be a part of the painting, but he refused.

the kids:

alfred: master bruce, really?

Imagine an alien species that evolved to be semi-aquatic watching humans (a species evolved to climb and run on land) jump eagerly into the water to swim with them. No safety equipment, no flotation devices, just a thin modesty suit and sheer glee.

And humans, by the alien’s standards, are terrible at swimming. Just…truly awful. They can’t hold their breath for long, their bones and muscles are dense, their lungs make them too buoyant, their hair creates drag, their gangly limbs are slow and clumsy, and they can’t open their eyes underwater because the water will hurt them.

And yet the human laughs and splashes with their alien friend and alien can’t help but marvel as the human seems to adapt in real time right in front of their eyes.

The human streamlines themself to glide through the water as best they can, trying their best to turn their grasping hands into paddles, their feet into flippers. The human watches and copies how the alien moves and mimics them, learns and copies them until they move almost gracefully.

Humans are predators right? But in our day to day lives we don’t really act like predators very often. Very few of us actually have an experience with hunting, with one exception; bugs. Especially flies or mosquitoes.

Imagine you board a ship and all of your crew mates are life forms from other planets, all of them just so happen to be prey. You’re an engineer and general aren’t seen as very threatening. You’re the first human the crews ever had on board so they have no reason to think you would be. That is until somehow a fly gets onto your ship.

It’s meal time and this fly just will not stop bothering you. No one else seems to be doing anything so you decide to be the one to kill it. You go dead still and track it with your eyes, watching to see where it lands. Once it does you move slowly until your hand is directly above it, holding your breath before slamming your hand down. Finally the pesky bug is gone and you can go back to eating. To you it’s no big deal. I mean it’s just killing one bug right? But when you look up after rubbing the dead fly off the table with your shirt, everyone’s staring at you with a look of shock, horror, or fear.

After a minute or two everyone seems to unfreeze and go back to what they were doing, still nervously glancing over their shoulders at you every minute or so.

After that your crew mates seem to always be slightly on edge around you. Listening to you more often than before, and letting you lead in situations where violence might need to be resorted too. While it’s not technically your job on explorations, you in no way mind being able to protect your crew.

all that light and love inside of him would just implode and he'd become a black hole on two feet. you would look at him and not see his face, and if he kills you it would be like you never existed at all

Jon, Jaster and young Jango and Arla from trade your heart for bones to know by magnificent @blackkatmagic

Upon your birth, an indelible mark manifests upon your body. This mark symbolizes the individual who will bear your burdens, carry your secrets, feel your pains, and share your sorrows. It also designates the person who will partake in your happiest moments, revel in your joys, understand your obsessions, and experience your bliss.

Just a regular day in the mindscape

bonus:

Good grief this took so long (12 hrs 45 min) but it’s done! i have never drawn Jason before or any DC character but ive been obsessed with DP x DC crossover fics so this was born :3 i hope he looks ok lol

I guess I just needed a new phone background from DP 💚

And yeah, the Mandala window is a ‘Ghost Portal’. Who would’ve thought that, huh? Lol.

———————

Made in ProCreate.

you're more likely to know your killer than not

Imagine while out on patrol Batman gets hit with some kind of spell that will cause his youngest child to have some kind of affliction on them.

Now the whole family is panicking and worried over what is going to happen to Damian. What's confusing though is that nothing happens with Damian, and everyone is now assuming Bruce has another bio kid out there somewhere.

Damian on the other hand is wondering how he should tell his family that he has a younger twin brother. Because he either does have another unknown sibling, or Danyal is alive.