Awareness

Moods are really fluid, everything is ephemeral, especially bad moods. Sometimes I realize that I should not focus or worry about a moment of bad mood because it is just a moment, and the next can be very different.

I had to do a EEG today and was trying to meditate during the 30 minutes of the test, but (maybe because of how my neck was positioned, which added tension to my body) I felt very anxious and had the very strange feeling of swelling, of having parts of my body inflating and completely losing mental control of where the physical limitations of my body were. 

I have always used the action fo peeling grapefruit as a relaxing activity, I always keep a few grapefruit in my frizzer for emergencies

Sometimes things are just going very well, and that makes me want to be nice and joyful. But I also wonder, does my bubble of serendipity keeps me from seeing the struggles of others?

Someone cleaning the floor above. We see the clean floor but we don’t see the person... invisible.

I got to see things...

the temperature of objects

the weight of the train

how the white becomes yellow, how the blue disappear...

seing the world from a different hight... standing on a table or sitting on the floor

the thickness of the skin, and all the layers

the light surrounding people when the place is light

dirty walls...

where the dust settles...

When I notice on the evening, it seems like my neck is very indecisive and restless, I can't find a position i like and it always feels tensed, while the rest of the body and especially the shoulders are more relaxed. It is very the opposite of when I meditate on the morning. On the morning my neck and throat never are a problem but I always feel a disagreement between my two shoulders, like unbalanced. Maybe due to my sleeping position, my mattress or maybe due to my posture during the day, me nodding too much? too much acknowledgment?...

When I listen to the train whistle I can hear 4 echos

new: the taste of water