Panic!

I put the pathetic in sympathetic

If it was within an hour of waking up then you can legally say you woke up like that

Perfect way to make sure your bed is always made: make is once. Don’t sleep in it, sleep on the floor

It’s time for sugar daddy Santa Claus to let me sit on his lap ;)

What do you do when you choke on water? Have a sip of water?

Snakes but they have hands and feet like a lizard and the rest of their body is a really long tail

Why were the 90s 10 years ago but 30 years ago

Just shined a flashlight in my eye, apologized to myself

Am I the only one that thinks about really good dick and then I can feel it in my uterus

Is 2 questions in 1 text too much for a mans brain to that he has to only answer 1?

N mre sng vwls bt smtms Y

During quarantine if you wanna drink just get drunk alone and as a bonus nobody can tell you that you drink too much

Ask to see my minecraft house and chances are I’ll fall in love with you so don’t ask to see my minecraft house unless you’re looking for a marriage

When a spider eats a mosquitoe it must be like a Capri sun

My toxic trait is when I’m with someone clingy I act uninterested and when I’m with someone uninterested I act clingy and it doesn’t matter how much I actually like them