Only me.

I'm not sure if I am the only one who feels this way. Actually I am sure I am not. But at times, a lot as of the last few months, I have had a very tough time envisioning my future. My future past about 21. I literally cannot see myself going anywhere further than I have already, finding love, having a family. I feel like I am stuck and like I am going to be stuck forever. This feeling isn't a feeling of "love will never find me, I will be alone forever." Its a feeling of "I think I'm going to die in the next few years." And that's not me being suicidal. I would never take my own life. In fact I enjoy life most of the time and I have never been sad or depressed enough to want to kill myself. I just feel like maybe I have almost completed my purpose, or my soul mate has left the earth so I am suppose to as well. Its a strange feeling. And I know things happen for a reason, but I am so afraid that this feeling is right. And I'm only scared because I don't want my family to have to deal with another loss so soon after the last. It would be so tough on them. I just hope this feeling passes and isn't real.