May There Be A Time Where We Are All Truthful

i thought this was whole fried chicken

When I die I want to be buried with grave goods that make future archaeologists think I was of much higher status than I actually was so that my grave will be referred to as a princely burial and I’ll be remembered by some cool name like “The Colchester Barrow Princess” (I’ve decided that I will be buried in a highly visible barrow, possibly with a ship) and the National Trust will erect a small museum about me filled with entirely incorrect but cool sounding archaeological assumptions

Be buried literally holding a sword and axe and then sit back and watch the endless ‘powerful warrior queen v. just usual valuable grave goods indicating a high status individual’ debate from the afterlife.

I want a spring-loaded casket and non-degrading glitter. I will be remembered as “that *£^$% thing that killed Professor Hannover”

That last one lmao

i rly hate when flies rub their hands together. what the fuck are you planning you little asshole you have a lifespan of like 3 days

i swear all i see in this video is deadpool getting arrested

This guy is legendary

this still cracks me up like can you imagine you’re 130 years old and suddenly a gigantic alien baby starts following you around

boys are extremely confusing and unpredictable

Possession of marajuana? officer, that’s … a couch ,…