"Madness is a rational response to a crazy world."

Are you here to look down on me? No. I’m just worried about you. That’s bullshit! You don’t want to be my friend from the beginning! I can be your friend. I’ll be anything that you want me to be. Don’t try to be nice to me if you think it’s a part of your job, asshole! If you didn’t receive an order , you wouldn’t have wanted to befriend me.

Nueng needs to be loved, he needs a chance, he needs to know that he is loved and he doesn't have the self-esteem or self-love to wait or chose.

He had to kiss Ben because he had to be that desperate to be loved, to have a chance at being loved, to have the illusion of being loved.

Nueng is desperate and lonely and he loves Palm but he is certain Palm is straight and so he lets Ben kiss him, he lets Ben flirt with him, but he gets drunk and demands that Palm dances with him, not her, demands that Palm stay with him, not her.

Because Nueng is desperate for love but he's also in love and that's even worse because it means that none of the love he's desperate for is filling the void of the love has already has.

Nueng is still grieving his father and the family he's lost to the chaos after his death; he is still grieving the mother he loves who is now too busy for him; he is still grieving the youth and freedom he had that will never come back and now he is trying to he grieve the relationship with Palm he imagined.

But Palm does love Nueng. It's Nueng's own view as himself as unloveable that is leading to him grieving a relationship he can have as already gone because he assumes that Palm is flirting with girls and not him.

E.A. Deverell - FREE worksheets (characters, world building, narrator, etc.) and paid courses;

Hiveword - Helps to research any topic to write about (has other resources, too);

BetaBooks - Share your draft with your beta reader (can be more than one), and see where they stopped reading, their comments, etc.;

Charlotte Dillon - Research links;

Writing realistic injuries - The title is pretty self-explanatory: while writing about an injury, take a look at this useful website;

One Stop for Writers - You guys... this website has literally everything we need: a) Description thesaurus collection, b) Character builder, c) Story maps, d) Scene maps & timelines, e) World building surveys, f) Worksheets, f) Tutorials, and much more! Although it has a paid plan ($90/year | $50/6 months | $9/month), you can still get a 2-week FREE trial;

One Stop for Writers Roadmap - It has many tips for you, divided into three different topics: a) How to plan a story, b) How to write a story, c) How to revise a story. The best thing about this? It's FREE!

Story Structure Database - The Story Structure Database is an archive of books and movies, recording all their major plot points;

National Centre for Writing - FREE worksheets and writing courses. Has also paid courses;

Penguin Random House - Has some writing contests and great opportunities;

Crime Reads - Get inspired before writing a crime scene;

The Creative Academy for Writers - "Writers helping writers along every step of the path to publication." It's FREE and has ZOOM writing rooms;

Reedsy - "A trusted place to learn how to successfully publish your book" It has many tips, and tools (generators), contests, prompts lists, etc. FREE;

QueryTracker - Find agents for your books (personally, I've never used this before, but I thought I should feature it here);

Pacemaker - Track your goals (example: Write 50K words - then, everytime you write, you track the number of the words, and it will make a graphic for you with your progress). It's FREE but has a paid plan;

Save the Cat! - The blog of the most known storytelling method. You can find posts, sheets, a software (student discount - 70%), and other things;

I hope this is helpful for you!