Ray

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

Tarot And Divination Feedback.

Feedback within any industry can be an important aspect of growth, learning and customer/client satisfaction but is expecting a response from your reading or divination services holding you back? If you are the one expected to provide feedback, are you unsure of how to proceed? I hope this post helps you answer both questions for yourself.

I am one of those readers who is comfortable not receiving feedback once I have submitted my readings because of my notion that the exchange is complete; be it monetary compensation, a sharing of energy or the notion that the gift giving was completed by both parties. I also am aware that some clients would like time to process and experience the reading before making any comments about it. I also do not expect consistent feedback if it is a returning client. Sometimes there is only so much you can say.  I view any feedback that I receive be it positive or constructive as an added bonus to the reading exchange but there was a time when feedback was crucial to my growth as a Tarot reader. I mentioned before that it really isn’t my job to force feedback from my clients.  This, however, does not negate the importance of feedback for other readers within this industry. I think that two of the main issues I am seeing within the community is not being sure what exactly feedback is and how you can provide it effectively if you choose to do so.

What Is Feedback?

Feedback is the process of providing information to someone in regards to their strengths and areas for improvement when it concerns their product or service.

How Feedback Can Be Important

Feedback can be an excellent incentive for those who are offering free or gift Tarot readings. This allows the learning diviner or Tarot reader to gain experience but also improve their skill set with the help of a third-party assessment.

Providing feedback especially when a diviner is trying out a new method, divination service or skill can be crucial in helping them decide if it is something they wish to provide to the public. I know that there are tons of readers in the community who like to do practice or sample readings for an upcoming service before they launch it in their shop. The feedback provided helps them ensure that what they are offering is the best and highest quality service possible and such feedback becomes invaluable.

It can help validate the reading for the diviner. I know when I started out, I always doubted my abilities to read the Tarot and receiving feedback helped me gain confidence that what I was doing was real and not something I was somehow making up.

It can help motivate readers to want to improve. We all started somewhere. Feedback can be a wonderful way to track your progress and see how far you have come as a reader. I like to look at some of the first readings I provided with their feedback and then compare them to the readings I do now. Seeing this monumental growth in my methods, techniques and skill set is such a powerful asset.

Another way that feedback benefits both the reader and client is that it creates a better working relationship for that client and future clients to come. I had a client tell me that the font I used was a little too small for their liking. I took that into consideration and increased the font size, improving the legibility of my readings. I had a returning client provide feedback saying that they enjoyed the new font size and that it was easier on their eyes. That feedback helped not only the first client who had the issue with the font size but all other future clients who may not have wanted to say anything.

Feedback is also a wonderful way for the reader to share past experiences and testimonials of their work with other potential clients who are considering purchasing a service from them. Referrals and testimonials are a wonderful way that clients can be smart consumers when looking for a diviner or Tarot reader. 

Feedback And Bullying

There is a difference between constructive criticism and bullying when providing feedback.  Providing feedback, even if it is negative or constructive does not mean bullying a Tarot reader because the reading or service that they provided, did not tell you what you wanted to hear. It is also not a way to mock, discredit or demonize someone else’s practices because they differ from your own. It is also not a way to be cruel without apology. Providing feedback is not a way to belittle or discourage another diviner from doing divination just because they are still in the learning stages of their study. Truly beneficial feedback is when the giver of the feedback has the reader’s best interest at heart and wants to help better them and hold them accountable for their growth and mistakes. Those who want nothing more than to just see a reader discouraged are not there to help them. Knowing the difference is so important.

When Feedback Is Negative:

It isn’t ever easy being on the receiving or giving end when it concerns negative feedback. I find that the best thing to do is just be honest and take or give the feedback with the purest intentions. Sometimes readings can be interpreted incorrectly, life happens where a reading was sent late to a client, or a question was just too vague for the reader to be able to pinpoint the reading to the best of their ability. It is okay to not be perfect. We all make mistakes. Not every client and reader relationship will be a match. Also, not all feedback can or will apply to you. Sometimes advice given isn’t something you can do and that is okay. The best thing to do is learn from any mistakes, know your limits, assess how you can better yourself from the feedback, implement a plan of action and commit to your growth. We all have our off days. As I mentioned above, feedback, even constructive criticism is not an attack.

How To Ask For Feedback

There are many different ways you can ask clients for feedback. Some readers like to e-mail or message the client asking what they thought of the reading as they send the finished reading. Other readers like to send a short survey a few days after the reading was sent to gauge feedback of the reading. Then there are those who do in person readings who are able to ask the client out right if the reading resonated during or after the session. There is no right or wrong way to ask for feedback just as long as you are respectful to the client. 

My Feedback Template

I’ve given and received a lot of Tarot readings in my time. I will be honest, being on both sides of the fence has helped me greatly in how I provide feedback and what I would want in regards to the feedback for my services. I have created a simple template that you can use as your guide and adjust accordingly to what feels right for you.

Rating 1-5 Stars: I like to give an honest rating of one to five stars. Purchasing Experience: If I purchased the reading, I like to comment on how the purchasing process went from start to finish. Sometimes a shop can be difficult to navigate or a reading listed can have a confusing description. Most of the time the purchasing experience is seamless and secure which I think is always important. Communication With Seller and Client: I like to take this time to address how I felt the seller or reader communicated with me throughout the whole process. Presentation and Delivery: This is where I talk about the reading, how it was presented and if it was sent in a timely manner in regards to the readers previously set turnaround time. Ethics: I like to mention if the reading was mindful of my free will, if it forced me to believe in certain things or if it gave me unsolicited advice that should be handled by a professional, etc. I also like to comment if the reader asked for my pronouns and preferred name and if they kept me feeling safe or vulnerable throughout the reading process Clarity and Cohesiveness: This is where I write about the reading and if the information provided was clear and easy for me to understand. Accuracy and Relevance: This is where I relate the reading to my life or situation and provide if it was accurate, if I need more time before I can comment or if the reading didn’t resonate with me at all. Tone: I address the tone of the reading and how I perceived the voice of the reading as a whole. What I’ve Gained From This Reading: I write about what I learned or gained from the reading. How I’ll Use This Reading In My Life: I provide detail on how I will apply some of the advice, if any, in my everyday life.  Final Notes and Thank You: I always make sure to give a thank you to the reader. Sometimes being a Tarot reader can feel like a thankless job. I also use this space to provide any additional feedback I feel is needed.