Caterpillar Cocoon & something else

I have lost a few days, absence, distance, and melancholy among other things.

It is hurting me to lose him, my little ray of sun is extinguished.

Today I have suffered from the most intense body pain of my life, it turns out that I did not adjust the pillows well and contracted my neck and back, causing a terrible pain that woke me up, I check the phone and it was 3am, there was no sign of him, another pang in the heart.

For the neck and back, nothing that lysine cloxinate and cyclobenzaprine cannot cure, but the other thing, I suppose that time will bring acceptance and comfort.

It angers me to feel my body locked and the emotional pain, they make me feel disabled and very vulnerable.

Today a year ago I traveled with Army on a business trip to Cancun, in the afternoons we used to go to the beach for leisure. One day in Tulum, I discovered my fascination for seagulls … and even I nicknamed them “the daughters”.

Well, this seagull in particular caught my attention because I consider it helpless and fragile given her condition. However, today this image appears as a reminder of gallery memories, my conception has changed, it becomes an example of resilence, since the bird flew by itself, ate and fend for itself and rather it was my limiting belief that it did not validate it.

Today is a great example that she knew a complete bird with or without a leg.

I love you “daughter”! So proud of u, thnx 4 the lesson

An excerpt from one of my favorite novels: The Fault in Our Stars (John Green 2012)…very cheesy I know!!! let's face it it's adorable Where Augustus Waters describes to Van Houten to Hazel Grace (his girl)… and I love the way he describes her because I can feel somewhat familiar with those words or phrases.

Well in my case I never wanted a line of admirers, I just wanted to belong to the heart of a gentleman and built a class of "you and me against the world" or a "fluff and navel" haha ​​someone with I want to eat the world traveling and exploring, but belonging to a little piece of our souls each other reciprocally ...

What is very true is that it was wonderful to discover, that the more you are yourself, the more authentic you become and the more authentic you are you connect with better people, but that own essence is never lost.

Each path, each meadow, each city, each aroma, each bustle, each silence, mark a unique experience as long as you have a willing heart and mind.

Surrendering to what you are passionate about is feeling your purpose, feeling your heartbeat for that reason.

Life is not simple, but it is in each one to make peace and see the glass full of glory and gratitude instead of regret and misfortune.

Víctor Hugo used to say: “Nations, like stars, are entitled to eclipse. All is well, provided the light returns and the eclipse does not become endless night. Dawn and resurrection are synonymous. The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul ”.

Such a miraculous morning…blissfully

Sometimes I wonder how many of us have gotten out of bed without a real meaning to our day? leaving between the sheets part of the daily routine without having any awareness of the present.

This afternoon I had a walk with my non-consanguineous brother, we always learn so much about each other, especially that we do not come from the same parents but with life stories that are similar, that is why we understand each other better.

Speaking of more sensible issues, we addressed how small our parents were (without wanting to and from ignorance they put labels on us that could be a Harmatia!) And just days ago I was reading the Argentine therapist Gabriel Rolon, who mentioned that part of the labor of love my own is to remove all those labels imposed from a young age, I LOVE that, was a boom for my brain!

I confess I am a neophyte in this self-love! People are surprised how a girl like me could lack that key ingredient. I will not delve into it, but yes, I did not have that and now that I have begun to discover it it has been delicious but also painful.

I still have a hard time receiving compliments, sometimes they even make me cry, I still have a hard time thinking that my body is not fat and it's cute and useful, I still have a hard time believing that I am smart and capable ... but what hurts the most is knowing that I can be truly loved, without deception or without conditions.

In my case, it has worked for me to change those ideas imposed on me and see everything that I am from love and gratitude. For example, they told me that I was overwhelming-cloying when in reality my being is expressive of pure love, that is me and I see it as something good that not everyone knows how to give. It was a big step even for me to start giving myself those gestures of love and self-care.

Regarding our life stories, our parents always do what they believe best for their children, they do not have a guide (especially when they are past generations) and who knows how they were raised, so let's look with compassionate eyes and don't take it personally.

Thanks Ada, for be part of my process and be like my angel guard and old bro! Luv ya luv ya

For me, getting sick is something terrible, I hate being in bed, I just can't tolerate feel weak, but on the other hand I think that when the disease comes it is because our body wants to tell us something ... a kind of brake! HEY YOU, STOP! (It also includes a: say it, or act, or quit that habit, or just rest) in my case, it is almost always nose and throat and according to teachers Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life-1984) and Lise Bourbeau ( Listen To Your Body-1987) is simply everything that I usually keep quiet about and don't say, in addition to being an obsessive workforce and a perfectionist.

I usually avoid crying knowing that I am a sensitive woman, I usually pretend to be strong in order to be strong towards others and that is not healthy, that is why in these days that I have suffered from a cold I have given myself the opportunity to be a cocoon and listen my own needs, to cry for me, to feel for me and above all, to feel the art of being vulnerable, of being human.

I asked myself: Zury, since when have you not given yourself that chance to be sick and take care of yourself? or why is it bad to be sick? Let's put aside the current situation of COVID 19 (where if you sneeze they already turn you to look ugly because it is a possible case of contagion) since before it happened to me, because every time my dad knows I am sick, he scolds me and holds me responsible for contracting it.

Sometimes I miss mom and her chicken soups or home remedies (luckily I learned them and now I prepare them myself) But nothing like that pampering that makes you feel much better ... now I have no choice but to do it for me.

Love heals ... self love too but if you can work your emotions before catching the cold ... much better!

(πάντα ρεκαὶ οὐδὲν μένει) Greek phrase that we can translate as “everything flows, nothing remains”. This expression was coined by the philosopher Heraclitus of Ephesus.

Heraclitus said that no one can enter the same river twice, because the river always changes, since the waters are in continuous movement, and he who entered the river once cannot escape the law of change, and, therefore, It will not be the same when I return.

"Potamois tois autois embainomen te kai ouk embainomen, eimen te kai ouk eimen" (Ποταμοῖς τοῖς αὐτοῖς ἐμβαίνομέν τε καὶ οὐκ ἐμβαίνομεν, εἶμέν τε ενον.

[“We walk and we don't walk in the same rivers. We are and we are not ”or“ No man ever walks in the same river twice, because he is not the same river and he is not the same man ”.]

Si…We change every time we go a little further along the road and try something different. Some ideas are reinforced, others are lost, and new ones appear.

Everything flows, everything changes, everything becomes.

Thanks sweet D.

GO N FIND YOUR #granmotherwillow

I do not know in other countries ... but in Mexico, a decade ago it was trending to say the phrase: "get a forest and get lost" said by preppy millennials 🤭Which I wanted to express kinda :•go away and vanish yourself •

Now I found it funny, cuz at this stage of my life that I just started this awakening of consciousness and recognition of the sovereignty of being, every time a crisis arrives me I used to run to the awareness tools and resources kit to find out what is wrong with me and how I will treat or alleviate it.

And I confess that last Monday, the pain invaded me when I faced a farewell again (who knows me knows that I suffer farewell... but I'm still working on detachment 😂) Well that morning in short, I got up to my morning walk believing that I could reactivate my 4 masters (endorphin, serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin) and I jumped into the park! Everything felt good, as I was walking and browsing the weekly discovery playlist, a song appeared that disarmed me. That song was talking about letting someone go and that everything would pass. But that made me go back to the most painful event of my life ... the departure and loss of my mom, it was as if she sang that song to me while she said goodbye. Then I edged out of the running track and took a shortcut trying to catch my breath and pretending to be doing stretching movements while my face clung to my knees and the tears came out ... they were uncontrollable (and even though I know it's good ... I still hate it because makes me feel vulnerable and naked) after the grief I looked for privacy in a corridor of trees and with the lump in my throat I ran to one and with open arms I threw myself at him melting into a hug ... it was heartbreaking, I had not cried that way since hours before the funeral. The truth is that I felt the embrace of the tree as a sensible human embraces with compassion. After crying came consolation and a feeling of relief, suddenly sorrow invaded me 🙈 I was not sorry that someone had seen me, my sorrow was with the tree, because I did not ask for permission, I was only able to thank them.

From that moment something grew between us and I come to visit him or them… as u can see the three has two logs… (grandpas/ ancestors)

Well Those who know me know that a book is cooking at home ... but I was very sloooooow (God ... it will be finished a century later) but I wanted to start there in parallel because there are things to talk about and they cannot wait!

Well here I go! my name is Zurisadai, (Zuri to avoid pronunciation complications and Zu for the inners) Chavita from Mexico City, badass but with a heart of gold, runner for pleasure not obsession, captor of portraits, sunrises and small details. Globetrotter with a nefelibate soul. Paramedic and nursery Frustrated. Passionate about red bone, AGAPE !! when I love, I love! I don't beat around the bush. My greatest treasures: Family, Nikko and my friends.

Well, I love languages, meeting people from all over the world, multiple disciplines for personal growth and awakening of conscience. I believe in self-love and love of neighbor as central pillars of life, as well as gratitude and love, respect and compassion are the master keys in life.

Now I shared one of my anthems now: #wonderwall by Oasis band