Jul 18
Some infinities are simply bigger than other infinites
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Some infinities are simply bigger than other infinites
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"Seni seviyorum ve doğru şeyleri söylemek gibi basit zevklerden kendimi mahrum etmeye pek meyilli değilim. Seni seviyorum ve sevginin boşluğa atılan bir çığlık olduğunu ve unutulmanın kaçınılmazlığını, herkesin ölüme mahkum olduğunu ve tüm çabamızın toza dönüşeceği bir günün geleceğini biliyorum ve güneşin elimizdeki tek dünyayı yutacağını da biliyorum ve seni seviyorum."
Dear Charlie,
Hi, it is me again. I wanted to update you that its been 3 months since I get regularly checked by doctors. I am diagnosed with GAD and is regularly taking medications. I will also have therapy soon, im just having a hard time scheduling it right now because a lot of things are happening at work. I am just grateful that i took that big step of getting diagnosed, i do not think i would have been able to survive this fked up project today if it wasnt for those meds that keeps me sane. Charlie, I still get nervous and really really anxious but i think im handling it way better than I am used to. Recently some people at work got promoted, at first to be honest I accepted that I will not be promoted at this time since im still relying on my manager. But now it got me thinking i have been putting so much effort on this work but why am i not recognized, is it because i have anxiety and not capable of leading my own? Those were the thoughts that keeps on running in my head. I wanted to ask my manager if my effort wasnt enough or am i not doing enough but since we still have a lot of things to, im trying to put this aside and prioritize what is more needed. I am trying to be patient but now i know I am sad for myself do not get me wrong i am genuinely happy for others but i can also be sad for myself right? haha charlie i couldnt tell this to anyone and i will probably breakdown if i dont talk about this. It is making me sad and depressed and making me want to move to a new work but idk can someone give me a sign? but i do love my manager and our team so i really dont know.
Hazel Grace
Isaac: This feels like a mistake. Augustus: Everything is a mistake until it isn’t.
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Hazel: I don’t believe in destiny. Augustus: That’s fine. Destiny believes in you anyway.
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Hazel: I cope by pretending I’m in a different genre. Augustus: What genre? Hazel: Dark comedy with unreliable narrators.
Is this a safe space to say that I don't think The Fault In Our Stars is inherently a sad book? Like sure it has sad moments and certain things are certainly heart shattering... but I don't think it's meant to make you wanna die or anything, because the book's full of good and happy moments as well, and at the end (spoiler warning) Hazel is all like "yeah my time with Augustus was short but also we had like a really great time so that's cool" and all I see is people talking about the sad parts but most of the book actually made me smile so yeah that's that
just thinking about how augustus waters lit up like a christmas tree
read that fucking book 12 years ago and it still fucks me up