Scarred Thighs.

He knows about my SH habit and me wanting to kms and yet he makes so sad and then goes to sleep. Isn’t he worried that maybe there won’t be a tomorrow for me? That just like that he could lose me forever all because he didn’t care enough.

He used to be so kind and thoughtful, careful not to hurt me, not to lose me. Now after 5 years all that is gone and I left with someone that isn’t the person I fell in love with. I don’t even recognise him anymore. His behaviour is shit towards me and everything is my fault cause I accept it all and let it pass like nothing happened. Im so tired of trying and begging to be understood and loved.

Been struggling so much lately with my relationship. I feel like I’m not seen and I’m taken for granted. Wanna SH so bad right now but a promise is a promise. Don’t know what I should do I don’t wanna break up but I don’t think he’s good for me anymore and that’s just sad. I feel so alone.

Told my bf about the last time I was about to commit, didn’t get the reaction I expected. I mean he didn’t even ask me to know more about it.

Had a deep conversation with my bf yesterday and I feel like shit. We’ve been together for 5 years and he said that it doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore that’s we’re just like siblings and that there’s no more interest and spark left. That I’m not the person he fell in love with and that we’re way too comfortable with each other and it feels like a routine. I want to fix this but I don’t know where to even start. I know I’m kinda toxic but I’m not doing it on purpose.