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‘Naturalization’ - A Mother’s Day 2017 Tribute
Limited Exclusive Preview from the upcoming debut book:
Rocket Scientist: The Posthuman Memoir of a Futurist Artist
by Ravi Valleti
Before the Oath Ceremony began, eagerly we called out, “Amma? Amma?! Amma!” Several faces, various shades of Citizens-elect, turned toward us. Apparently “Amma” means mother not only in our language, Telugu, but also in some other ones! From the mezzanine balcony, we smiled back towards their hopeful, nervous, curious eyes. Perched were we, above an entire floor of patient new citizens of these United States of America, in a time of dramatically new political energy, quizzical not merely to the rest of the world but to many of us Stateside.
Relief. Pride. Sadness. Deep sorrow. Confusion and anger mixed with twinges of what the abyss might feel like. This wasn’t the jubilatory celebration we had hoped for Amma’s Certificate of Naturalization as a newly admitted Citizen of our United States of America.
45. Not 44.
I’ve lived a story of your Amma – your mother. I wish to better understand the concept of Nation-States. Of that United States of America. And of you. Please ancestor, tell me in your own words. January 26th, 2017, an Oath Ceremony at the Heritage Center in Campbell in what was called…Silicon Valley? I’ve lived your memories for so long, but wasn’t prepared to speak directly to you. The Singularity technicians didn’t think this was possible. In college, though, my Intro Epistemology professor theorized that being in a state of coma might somehow allow for an interaction like ours. She was dismissed by the scientific community as an outlier. Was she right? Or, is this just a glitch?
A brilliant glitch then, dear descendant. I thought I’d died so long ago. Yet, here I am. This might be the only chance we get. So, let’s make this a good story!
We have advanced some since your days. I imagine kids of my time could write the textbooks used in your time. I’ll grant you that, dearest descendent. Believe it or not, I’m not jealous. I’m relieved that your generation is better off, and so grateful that your world is more evolved than ours. That’s how it should be. We have our problems, ancestor. Don’t get me started. I can tell, descendant. Perhaps not my place yet to say that you’re privileged to have problems we in 2017 would have dreamed of having. To your Amma’s Oath Ceremony please, ancestor!
Okay. I’ll take you back to how it was then, in the first 100 hundred days of 45…45, not 44.
My Amma has spent more than half of her life outside her hometown Hyderabad, India, by way of almost three years with me in Canada in the era of Justin Trudeau’s father, Pierre. Then to the Ronald Reagan United States in that remote northeastern corner of Orono and Bangor, Maine. That was where my sister Rajani was born. To some locals, we were Black, the other kind of Indian, Middle Eastern, even the term tricky for many Latinxs: Hispanic. The very few other minorities and a handful of white allies helped us feel less isolated. We persisted in Maine by watching reruns of the Original Star Trek on our first color TV and by reading stories of proud Black Americans who made it possible for a brown family like mine to survive in those United States. MLK and Gandhi, together. 5 years later, 30 years before 2017, we Indian-Americans settled on another coast of stolen American Indian land as we began to proudly contribute to the diverse Santa Clara, California in that imbalanced cradle of disruptive technological and social innovation that is Silicon Valley, yet not immune to prejudices nor lacking in haters of its own.
She is my Amma. A mother from India who graciously encouraged both her children, socialized as different genders, to pursue whichever careers they wished, to make lives with loves of any backgrounds, to believe in and challenge science. An immigrant mother granting me, her loving son, permission to tell her story now amidst my own. To create art as resistance. Your model minority, my Amma is not. Her daughter (my beloved sister Rajani), the love of my life Nima, our friends and I would learn more about Amma over those next few days in late January 2017.
7 days since 45’s Inauguration. Tension in the air could not stifle a sunny day with blue skies in a pause between frequent rainstorms. For this Oath Ceremony was set in that beacon, the diverse Bay Area. Shades and origin stories, tapestries from all over the globe. Relatives and friends, perhaps sponsors and colleagues. Who knows, maybe a guest recently plucked from Match, Tinder, or Grindr. This is the Bay Area. Our hella Yay Area! Rising housing costs, liberal privilege, and all!
Did 45 appear on screen during one of the video presentations? No. Too Soon? Might there be additional requests for allegiances of loyalty to the State? Yes. Awkward, natural-born Americans didn’t have to make such extra pledges, right? No, they didn’t. Leftover videos produced under 44’s compassionate watch? Yes. Thank goodness!
Dr. Martin Luther King speaking at Selma. Dr. King pronouncing that he had a dream at DC’s National Mall. Good choices. RFK. Nice one. Didn’t expect a clip of him. Me neither.
Then warm, thoughtful introductory speeches by officers of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services to those who had recently succeeded in passing their Interviews and Tests. People on the verge of being deemed full American citizens when so many were under threat of being ripped away from their families simply over national status documentation, disregarding positive contributions to society. American: a term I use sparingly as people throughout the Americas rightfully are Americans. Yet a term that does require less time to state than Citizens of our United States of America. I suppose U.S. Citizens works too.
I feel your confusion, descendant. Sorry, ancestor, we didn’t get such details in our lectures on the 45 era. I’m trying my best to keep up! As was I, dear descendant!
So were your Amma and her fellow inductees called by name?
It wasn’t quite that simple. Each new American citizen was called by their country of origin. After disavowing allegiance to their former homelands and their respective leaders, varied emotions in the crowd, they made the pledge of allegiance to the United States of America under its Constitution. The wonderful names of approximately 60 sovereign, United Nations-recognized countries would next uplift the acoustics of the Heritage Theater in the heart of Silicon Valley. Names of nations that outside the Heritage Theater were facing constant ridicule and mistrust in the new yet already tumultuous era of 45.
Names of nations vying to compete with the United States on the global stage. China! Names of nations borne of ancient civilizations sharing painfully colonial histories, peoples ripped from their natural courses by greed and fear, while teaching the world how to meditate. India! That’s my Amma! There she is! Names of nations scarred by exploitation and indoctrination into the clutches of internalized racism, internalized sexism, yet managing to remain vibrant and creative. Myanmar! Names of nations yearning to feel secure not only in their intellectual and health spheres, but in their very dignity to simply be who they are. Mexico! Names of nations pronounced hesitantly for lack of understanding their ways. Russia! Names of nations that sparked heartbreaking love from an audience, no, a tapestry of humanity cheering with all their trauma and hope for an existence all on this world deserve. Syria! Names of nations, some of which were assigned to borders shaped by former colonial masters, now fractured by the perils of Climate Change. Somalia! Names of nations we in the audience wished with our vigorous clapping would continue to remain names of nations in the decades to come. Ukraine! Names of nations, old friends of this one undergoing similar paradigm shifts. The United Kingdom!
When the announcer finished, she respectfully asked the newly welcomed citizens of our United States whether she had forgotten to declare any other country of origin. As if from a deleted scene from one of our family’s favorite movies, “Coming to America,” a proud black citizen of America stood from their seat, tall, spine poised while radiating gratitude and love – Zambia! Yes, I felt too! Yes, we in the balcony felt it too! A moment of lightness and profundity the likes of which we could not have dreamed when we entered the Heritage Theater. 45, not 44. In spite of that, a truly serendipitous close to the roll call of countries of origin.
Next, the United States Passport application presentation. Then, the Santa Clara County Registrar of Voters presentation. Armed & Intelligence Services recruitment? No. Peace Corps? No. But yes, a Human Trafficking info line presentation. “As new Americans, you are the front lines against human trafficking.“ Say what? Are natural born United States citizens asked to participate in such front lines?
That must have shifted the mood a bit, eh, ancestor? Somewhat, my dear descendant, but the palpably growing anticipation for the handing out of Certificates of Naturalization of the early 45-era United States of America drove us forward. Row by row. Person by person. My Amma patient, smiling. Calm yet increasingly concerned in expression. An immigration officer directed her outside. Rajani, Nima, our friends with balloons atop the balcony eagerly waited to greet my Amma downstairs with hugs. Me however, a feeling returning from 2001 during my own United States Naturalization process creeping back into focus. Ancestor, please tell me! One thing at a time, Beti. My own Amma calls me that, ancestor. I know, dear descendant.
Down to the lobby of the Heritage Theater, awaited a small handful of other new citizens yet to receive their Certificates of Naturalization of the United States. Okay, my Amma wasn’t the only one in limbo. Pulses of chill and tension moved from the muscle fibers closest to the bones up toward the very limits of my skin. All mind and shoulders. Tense, tense shoulders. Of course, by chance, Amma was called last. Meanwhile, I related to our young guest, an elementary school student of rare brilliance, on her first attendance of a United States Citizenship Oath Ceremony, the truth of our feelings, of our brown feelings. A rare young being, one who could adapt to the realities of society. No need to have hidden her from our nerves. Her amazing sociologist mother, was standing by our side. Many children her age would be trapped inside airports worldwide during the coming weekend, in war zones, in drought-stricken legacies of Climate Change. Many, many more children in dire limbo everyday – simply wanting to be children, to become the humans they deserve to become.
At last. The Heritage Center nearly emptied. My Amma then heard that she needed to make an appearance at the Santa Clara County Immigration Office in San Jose the following Tuesday morning between 9am and 11am. 9-11, really, twisted joke of some sort?! I read about 9-11 in History class, ancestor. Good you studied such a critical event, another day that much changed in our world.
Although being told that Amma’s Certificate hadn’t been prepared during a recent push to get a few more applicants through the process – 44, thank you? – being under 45 meant not wanting to rest on our laurels. We brown folks knew how to salve hope with pragmatic patience until such a feat as the Certificate of Naturalization of those United States of America were to be in the wise hands of my Amma. Guess who were the very last ones to leave the Heritage Theater lobby? Ancestor, oh no. Not a prestigious honor after such an illustrious ceremony, but one that we bore. We had our balloons. A vibrant elementary school prodigy in our crew. My sister in town for the weekend all the way from her racial equity work in Baltimore. And two allies, leaders among women. A lovely fountain pool with an approximately 7-foot-tall United States flagpole temporarily stationed in front of the Heritage Theater.
I say, “Okay everybody, let’s take pictures as if we have the Certificate in hand! The same poses and smiles we would have next Tuesday, but we won’t be together like this next Tuesday!” Artists, we all. That day was our day. That flag- red stripes the blood of those not asked permission to shape our nation, blue box of our sadness over their still underappreciated sacrifices, white stripes and stars for those most privileged to lead and continue to extract most from our nation- that flag was our flag for that day. Certificate or no Certificate in Amma’s new United States envelope. Families didn’t get to have days like that often enough. Momentous celebrations. Simply time together.
Hugs. Hugs. Sighs. Sighs. Pose. Pose.
“Psycho Donuts, everyone?” Okay! Ancestor, really? A great Silicon Valley donut chain, real Bay Area – vegan options for Nima and me. Ooh - nice! So, we walked across Winchester Blvd to the other side of Campbell Ave. Oreo Madness donut for me. Fitting- black and white, dark and light. Race in America. Oath Ceremony Day. Giant plastic eyeballs hanging from the ceiling watching us eat donuts and drink coffee. The eve of 45’s Muslim Travel and Refugee Ban. An Executive Order to “protect our nation’s security.” Ancestor, that sounded like a bunch of… Stop! Descendant, let’s not grant 45 the gift of our more…savory vocabulary, shall we? My bad, ancestor. I can’t help it. That Executive Order was so racist, so Islamophobic! Agreed. More brown people, yearning for freedom and that American dream. Many of them not as fortunate as we were to even face the problem we were fortunate to be facing.
4 days of no Green Card in hand for my Amma. Why, ancestor? You see, dearest descendant, in order for my Amma to have been allowed entrance to participate in that day’s Oath Ceremony she was ordered to hand over her United States Permanent Resident Green Card to U.S. Immigration officers. When Amma did this, as everyone else in line with her had to, she had understandably trusted that she would, by ceremony’s end, be holding the more permanent and prized Certificate of Naturalization of those United States of America. Instead - a piece of Immigration and Naturalization Services letterhead with red ink scribbled on it. Ancestor, why didn’t they return her Green Card to your Amma?! Beti, I don’t know. I don’t know.
Only a week into 45, we just couldn’t assume anything as brown Americans. Even when some friends of ours would say that Amma must be “in the system.” That “at least we weren’t Muslims.” Not nice of others to say such things, ancestor. As allies of Muslim-Americans, ourselves often targets of terrible Islamophobia, we would agree with you, dear descendant. Day by day into the infancy of the 45 administration, uncertainty the likes of which our United States wasn’t accustomed to, perhaps since the days of Japanese-American internment camps in World War II.
Wow, ancestor.
A marathon, not a sprint, Beti. 45, not 44. Hence, the next day and a half my family and I reconnected with our larger universe. Recalibration.
The next day while Amma was back at her work, Rajani and I took a drive together from Sunnyvale to San Jose to visit our Dad. Through our hometown Santa Clara, passing near our old apartments and condo, Little League Baseball fields, by our alma maters- Sutter Elementary, Buchser Middle, and Santa Clara High. Ancestor, your Dad, the Professor, brought you to Canada then to the United States! Descendant, my Dad would be honored by you right now. Thanks for recalling him!
The morning after that, my sister and I reunited with Amma, who needed a fun diversion - as did we. Ancestor, Take me out to the ballgame? Which game was that? America’s pastime, my dear descendant. Baseball. A special event called Oakland A’s FanFest. It was hosted by our favorite team, the Oakland Athletics to boost excitement for the 2017 season. Delicious, complimentary food from well-rated, East Bay food trucks. Talks by players, coaches, and the visionary new team president. Games for children. Green and Gold, the best colors in Major League Baseball. My Amma and her daughter, Rajani looked so relaxed, appreciating our intermission from politics, from identity, sitting alongside the marina at Jack London Square next to our glistening San Francisco Bay. A marathon, not a sprint.
Our intermission was nice, but we were getting excited to pick up lost pieces of our heritage. A short journey to nearby Berkeley for Rajani, Amma, and me to meet Nima for a timely excursion to further commemorate the imminent Certificate of Naturalization of those United States for Amma. A privilege for us to join that afternoon’s Berkeley South Asian Radical History Walking Tour. Our hosts, Barnali Ghosh and Anirvan Chatterjee, compassionate purveyors of uncommonly told stories and philosophies, humans whose knowledge of and solidarity with North American West Coast South Asian history would guide us through important parts of Berkeley, including through part of the lovely University of California campus. Streets we had walked many times before, restaurants and shops of so many niches and cultures, eclectic architecture with organically interspersed natural elements, street art, reminders of vast possibility that walking past hopeful undergrad and grad students brings. Breathing in the atmosphere of a city at the heart of California, a state that could be a nation unto itself yet even more now than ever a leader of resistance within our United States of America.
That’s wonderful, Ancestor! You and your family learned so much in that tour. South Asians in California in the late 1800s? The first true free speech movement in the United States? By Indian immigrants in Berkeley advocating for their fellow Indians in British-occupied India? Decades before the free speech breakthroughs of the 1960s Civil Rights Movement? Advocates for LGBTQIA rights who were South Asian, before 1990? Labor, feminist, Black, Indigenous, Latinx, Asian & Pacific Islander solidarity too?
Dear descendant, not often in our American history textbooks. Not your model minorities. Absolutely remarkable. Toward the end of our tour, some people checked their social media to see that while we were connecting with little known pasts and reattaching our lost tapestries of being Desi, of being South Asian, protests were trending on social media at San Francisco International Airport and at many other airports around the United States.
We ended the grand tour in front of Berkeley High School, a place where students had learned how to stand more compassionately for classmates who had faced threats in the weeks and months after 9/11. Inspired by those stories, we Berkeley South Asian Radical History Walking Tour participants coalesced our own stories. We shared our feelings that quickly and necessarily launched from reclaimed pasts to first attempts at grasping a future that seemed to be rewriting as hopes into fears. Executive Order- hour by hour on this day of the implementation of 45’s Refugee and Muslim Travel Ban. Executive Order. For some, a first and now unavoidable chance to publicly process complex emotions bubbling since before Election Day 2016.
Ancestor, did your Amma get up and speak in front of the group?! Why yes, descendant, she did. This woman raised in India not to speak up for fear of male reprisal, forced to wield a more subtle and relatively unseen resistance to patriarchy from her earliest memories in India. In her 20s to the white winters of Maine where she had to keep her head down amidst largely monochromatic local populations. Later to work hard for years in a Valley whose Silicon riches were not for all, in which challenging family, financial, and medical dynamics shaped a necessary stoicism that brought forth for Amma millennia of ancient Indian duty and patience. This woman, this nervously soon-to-be holder of her well-earned Certificate of Naturalization of those United States of America. This mother in front of her adult Indian-American children. This human being who had yearned for greater opportunities in a land to which, at that very moment, many around the world trapped in airports expected to enter with similar hopes of their own. Safety and opportunity. My Amma indeed spoke.
She started by graciously owning her nerves, soon easing into how keenly she sensed that her largely younger audience needed an elder mother’s optimism and faith in our diverse strength – strength to sustain the moral arc of history we shall be the authors of. My Amma had earned every right to publicly air her grievances and root her trauma. Instead, she gifted us that day with her love and faith. The commemoration of my Amma as a beloved #ResistanceAuntie. Proud children we were. We are. And given the largely younger group of undergrads and 20-40 somethings, a needed motherly love to all of that day’s tour participants. Rajani, Nima, me, Amma – group hug afterward. Then, camaraderie with fellow tour goers in a way we hadn’t anticipated. Gratitude.
Shortly after, my sister packed for her flight back to Baltimore, back to another beautiful city of diversity and resistance.
Then, quiet dread. 2 more days of Amma with no Green Card in hand nor her Certificate of Naturalization of those United States. 2 more days of 45 and his administration claiming fake news. 2 more days with growing protests at airports to support fully vetted and wonderful human beings seeking the same amber waves of grain and purple mountains majesty that were promised to us. 2 more days of fear from ICE deportation raids of fellow Americans. 2 more days of women fighting for equal pay. 2 more days of Jewish and Muslim Americans alike receiving hateful threats. 2 more days of disabled folks not able to consistently have access to their society at large. 2 more days of LGBTQIA people introducing themselves to those who had only seen a Queer or Transgender person as a television character.
2 more days of Rust Belt voters pining for jobs in dying industries and industries being overtaken by robots, longing for maintenance of their Affordable Care Act aka “Obamacare.” 2 more days of opioid addiction. 2 more days of artists, laborers, doctors and nurses, teachers. 2 more days of global challenges, environmental damage. 2 more days of extinction of species worldwide by human impacts. 2 more days of Executive Orders and Senate Cabinet confirmations.
2 more days of joy, brilliance, suffering, injustice, and invisibility for Black and Inidgenous (Native) Americans - not dissimilar to the many tens of thousands of days that had come before on this land after the first European colonists fled religious persecution and economic disadvantage. All the while, with their fellow European diaspora, led by aristocrats and generals carving North America into those United States of America and that Canada.
2 days in the life of #MarginSci. 2 days pondering the new call to March for Science.
2 days in a series of weeks of too many murders of vibrant Black Trangender American women.
2 days closer to the apparent hate killing in Olathe, Kansas of my fellow Hyderabad-born engineer, the late Srinivas Kuchibhotla. A man like many of us, contributing and dreaming in the United States. “Go back to your country!” would be among final words Srinivas would hear, uttered by his white American-born murderer. Dare I say, by a terrorist?
2 days checked off the 2017 calendar before 45 would fire the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, James Comey. Ancestor, wasn’t Mr. Comey investigating 45’s ties to Russia? Yep.
That’s another story. Back to January 31, 2017. Back to the palpable fear we felt in those first 100 hundred days of 45. Our family’s 2 days wait were over. 9-11 in the morning. The Tuesday after Amma’s Oath Ceremony had arrived. At last. Logic would dictate to remain calm, not to make assumptions. However, as citizens of the United States well-versed in the nuances, connoisseurs of the intricacies of immigration, as humans experienced in the rigors of generational trauma, we deeply felt the increased confusion, stress, and fear only 10 days into the 45 era. In periodic flights of panic with hopes of relief, Amma and I made the drive to San Jose. That was home for Amma. Where she had worked for many years, made community, raised children. Her land of birth foreign to her when she visited there. Her heritage with her no matter where she was.
Descendant, I really want you to feel what we did. Real-time. Ready? Yes please, ancestor.
We park. We exit the car. I ask Amma to take a breath. I take one myself as I feel nervous ghosts from my own visits as a young man in 2000 and 2001 to U.S. Immigration offices in Orange and Santa Clara Counties. Back when I was stressed over midterms and finals in Engineering School at UC Irvine. We enter the building.
Intimidation. Intensity. The U.S.A. The Bald Eagle. Probably a good, young man just doing his job at the front desk. But these are 45 times, not 44. “Do you have an appointment?” he tests us. Then, Amma starts to nervously say something, as if to express guilt for having courageously passed her U.S. Citizenship Interview and Test, eager to please because so many had ridiculed her, had looked down on her, had thrown slurs at her. That generational trauma, that fear we brown folks caress so closely. Quickly, as I had done many times since I was a child of this immigrant mother for whom English is a third language, I intervened as the fluent, charming leader of my family, “Sir, thank you. My mom had her wonderful Oath Ceremony last Thursday in Campbell. She was told to come here today between 9 and 11 A.M.” Silent beat. Silent beat. Hearts flutter. Silent beat. Cold sweat inching towards pores. The periphery of eyesight closing in. Hopes. Hopes. “Ok, then. Proceed through security check, then to the officer over there.” This first officer points behind and to his right.
Airport travel had more than prepared my brown Amma and the browner me for security check. Shoes off quickly, etc. Retrieve items from the bins. Go to the side seats to put items back in pockets and purse. Shoes and jackets back on. Oh yeah, my belt. Can’t have my pants slip down, here of all places! No pat-down, ancestor? You’re funny, descendant. Another attendant’s desk. This officer relaxed, benign in expression. “Go to the waiting room over there, place your documents in a box at Window X.”
Final round, ancestor? Anticipation as butterflies, my Amma the Madame but only of her own Butterflies on this precipice of momentous moments in her more than six decades of life on this planet. That feeling of hesitation, not to presume the finish line too far in advance. We arrive at said window and see a currently unattended bin. Amma excitedly places into said bin her critical red-pen marked papers from last Thursday’s Oath Ceremony. Then she moves to a lobby seat. I. Don’t. Move. One. Step. Away. From. Amma’s. Papers. From. That. Crucial. Bin. Amma immediately returns to my side as we await.
The same immigration officer from the Heritage Center. Friendly, steady. She looks over her own red-pen handwriting from last Thursday following that Oath Ceremony. The officer goes to a file to her side. We see the framework for a Certificate of Naturalization of our United States of America. Looks very similar to my own. Yet, lacking a picture of my Amma in the appropriate box in the middle of the left side of the Certificate. Where is the picture of my Amma? Is this like when Immigration had lost the initial fingerprints they themselves had taken of me in my own Naturalization process during the transition from 42 to 43? Here I am again, yet 45, not 44.
“We got a few more people through the process on this recent batch, including you. Forgive the delay.” My Amma smiles. I want to smile. Generational trauma is a fierce locking mechanism to the heart though. An adhesive appears from a desk drawer of the officer. This valued representative of our United States of America applies the adhesive to the back of Amma’s small picture. Then she affixes Amma’s picture to the middle of the side of her Certificate of Naturalization of those United States. A pen. The officer signs her portion. Now I wink at Amma. Then I smile with deepest gratitude and relief into the eyes of the immigration officer of those United States of America. (And 44, a fist bump to you). She tells Amma, “Sign it, upon returning home, in black ink your portion.” Voila! Amma’s brand-new Certificate of Naturalization of the U.S. of A.
The officer reminds Amma about soon obtaining Amma’s U.S. Passport. A passport of which, by that morning, we knew had become more and more critical for world travelers into our United States of America, if they were so fortunate to have them. Mind you, 45’s folks had started questioning and, in many cases barring at airports, humans with not only Entry Visas (travel, work, student, and spousal) but also humans with U.S. Permanent Resident Green Cards. 45 had also started prying for social media passwords of many more crossing Stateside. It was with extra appreciation and solidarity, that Amma finally placed between her thumbs and her fingertips for the first time that which had almost become a myth in the preceding few days. Her Certificate of Naturalization of her United States of America!
“Amma let’s get outta here.”
Google Maps. Oh, wow, another branch of Psycho Donuts nearby. Yes! The lack of sleep the night before, nerves over obtaining Amma’s long-awaited Certificate, and stress while watching the news about the experiences of good humans wrongfully blocked around the world from entering these same United States. This lack of sleep after such an emotional roller coaster required fair trade, local Northern California blend coffee. And our crossing the finish line demanded more donuts. And yes, Vegan ones for a very proud and very grateful son of an Amma who was now his fellow U.S. Citizen. “I will vote!” she exclaims. Cheers and congratulations on your newly enhanced Resistance powers, Amma. I love you.
A most fitting notification then flashes across my phone as we finish our late victory breakfast. “Amma, check it, the new teaser for the start of shooting for the pilot of Star Trek: Discovery!” Amma smiled in that way that told me she knew that the step she had just taken was an initiative to further help heal our society. On a day in a week of such social and political upheaval, not just as a new American Citizen, but as a human being aiming towards that utopian Final Frontier. That one day our descendants would, in peace, boldly go where no one has gone before.
That’s me, ancestor! Thanks for gifting family! Your memories make much more sense to me now. So we better get you out of your coma and back to deep space flight training, eh dearest descendant? Yes, please! It’s amazing, ancestor, how much weight and pressure your society placed on national citizenship. I’m a citizen of the Earth, passport not needed. Rest and recovery are your passports now, descendant, so that you soon take your rightful place as a Citizen of the Stars. You won’t need me out there. You got this! Amma would be proud of a young woman like you.
Copyright © 2017 Ravi Valleti. All Rights Reserved.
The March for Science at first seems to be a direct result of an election. Yet it is a reflection of how our U.S.A. has yet to truly face the scarred roots of its legacy. Nor the ignored ills of its present. The physicist, J. Robert Oppenheimer said after the first successful test of a nuclear bomb that he was instrumental in creating, “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” He was quoting the Vedas, from ancient scriptures of the main religion, Hinduism, of my family from India. I read this quote many times after I graduated proudly from the Campuswide Honors Program at UC Irvine in June 2002, Double Bachelors in Mechanical & Aerospace Engineeering. Summers working as a U.S. Space Camp California Counselor & Simulated Space Shuttle Mission Director- such joy! Senior Honors Thesis called “Flight Dynamics of Reusable Launch Vehicles” – the exploratory kind, NASA-related fun. But by the time of my graduation day, the reality of my being part of the first graduating class since 9/11 hit me hard. Job offers shifted quickly from exploration to defense. A “Destroyer of Worlds” I would not be. So when I gave my Commencement speech “Where Are All the Flying Cars?” I warned my fellow graduates to use their newly granted degrees & power wisely in the years to come.
Indeed, many bombs and missiles our world continues to endure. I could have been wealthy and “secure” by now. As the young, reluctant caregiver for my immigrant family right after my undergrad, money from the military industrial-complex would have been useful. Yet a more meaningful, albeit lonely path towards Intersectional Futurist Art over the next 15 years led me to my beloved Nima, & now here. We’ve all entered a new era of political turmoil. Not so new though. The questioning of U.S. bombings abroad and of how “American” we Americans of Color are escalates again. Haunting flashbacks to my early childhood staving off (most) bullies in Orono and Bangor, Maine as one of the very few children of color. Surviving through reruns of Original “Star Trek” to dream of Queer & Trans Brown & Black Female futures. Before such utopias, I March for a new Science amidst so-called “Science Bros” who would deny such visions to me and to other People of Color. And among well-intentioned allies who often don’t understand those of us who rep #MarginSci. That to #DecolonizeScience is not a metaphor. Earth Day 2017 is the next turning point toward the futures our species shall choose. Which one is yours?
#MarginSci = #FutureOfScience
Copyright © 2017 Ravi Valleti. All Rights Reserved.
Where do we go next? Science helps. Science harms. We choose the path. As an Intersectional Futurist, I juxtapose contrasting social elements into my acting. Like in the Posthuman-themed feature film "Devised.” And in my writing, especially my upcoming debut memoir "Rocket Scientist.” Art is how I share my own struggle as a Person of Color to survive in & challenge existing institutions. Art is where we can envision fair future societies that don’t remain dormant in our science-fiction dreams. Our species succeeds when we truly center Women of Color in & out of Science. To me, to “Decolonize Science” creates a healthy paradigm for humanity in which those most marginalized are central to Science. This is when Women Scientists of Color will have re-centered Science. A utopia worth striving toward, one that began with Indigenous peoples & can return to them. How does my beloved “Star Trek” have a ‘United Earth’ without having first resolved Colonialism and its continued negative impacts? May the March for Science be a turning point in that direction? I encourage this movement to dig even deeper toward Black & Brown Female Futures. In wishing so, I acknowledge my privilege as a Cis-Het-Male & my vulnerability as a Brown South Asian American. As a Santa Clara High School graduate, I proudly support my hometown Silicon Valley March for Science. As well as the other Bay Area MFS satellites, particularly San Francisco March for Science. Helping this movement better listen to our #MarginSci voices has been difficult. I’m encouraged by recent progress locally & nationally. Racial Equity trainers, like my sister, Baltimore’s ‘Charmingly-Hyphenated’ Rajani Gudlavalleti, MPP, inspire me. As do the courageous leaders of 901 Memphis March for Science. Without them, I’m not sure I’d have continued to lend my voice to this movement. After Earth Day 2017, may we human beings continue this crucial reflection and reform.
#MarginSci = #FutureOfScience
Copyright © 2017 Ravi Valleti. All Rights Reserved.
My Dad Honors my Birthday37/StarTrek50
Nima, my Dad, & I highly recommend the new documentary “For the Love of Spock” - The character ‘Spock’ & Star Trek overall continue to inspire us. It was only fitting last night to close out my birthday37 & StarTrek50 wknd by watching the painfully tumultuous but ultimately triumphant story of son & father, Adam & Leonard Nimoy. Those of you who’ve known me well for some time, especially you who know my genius Renaissance-man Dad, can most appreciate how significant it is that he & I have reconciled & healed enough to be able to watch a film w/ such parallel pain, shame, burden, hope, love, unmet expectations then wonderfully surprising liberation btw & for father & son. Many of you are critical reasons why we’ve been able to evolve to this. My sister Rajani, though her own healing process w/ Dad, had courageously mediated btw Dad & me. My love Nima has patiently & graciously supported my Dad whenever they get to chat. In spite of their failed marriage, my Amma (mom) has given me space to form my own path w/ my Dad. Then, a recent breakthrough: My Dad asked me for clarity 1.5 weeks ago on Summers 2001 & 2013. He is now able to be so much more grateful to everyone who has helped our family. And, to me. :~> To those who know only some or none of our saga (incl 2001 & 2013), you will, as I more aptly convey an essence of our story in my forthcoming debut Memoir. As I will more expansively honor my Dad. The man has lived quite a life, one I’m proud to now know more of. May he Live Long & Prosper.
Copyright © 2016 Ravi Valleti. All Rights Reserved.

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My Amma (mom) honors my Birthday37/StarTrek50
My Amma (mom) was so gracious and excited for my birthday37 & StarTrek50 wknd. As I was reaching this milestone in recent weeks, she and I have been discussing those topics from her life before me, and those after my arrival: from Hyderabad (India), Ontario (Canada), & Maine (U.S.A.) that we haven't spoken with each other...those topics that our family's former "crisis era" had seemingly obscured. In my mind, forever. I'm glad I was wrong. Even more glad that my Amma & I can share emotional space in such great new ways now. We have always been close, but past stress, fear, & anger followed us like hunters for far too long. No longer. I'm so proud she is my Amma. She had far less choice in her life than I'm privileged to. Now I better appreciate how hard it was for her being a new immigrant in such cold North American winters around such lack of diversity, trying her best to raise the very young me. Trying to enter her 30s in what was to be a failed marriage to my father, but before that, apparently some happy albeit complex times leading to the existence of my baby sister. My Amma is brave, giving, euphoric, protective, curious, resilient. I look forward to honoring her more aptly in my forthcoming debut Memoir... :~> May she Live Long and Prosper.
Copyright © 2016 Ravi Valleti. All Rights Reserved.
Give a subscription to the streaming movie service Fandor. The recipient will get unlimited access to thousands of independent movies and foriegn films
50% off Fandor Holiday Sale! $15 3 months; $50 12 months. New Criterion Collection films, including ones by Satyajit Ray. Plus, my recent Rob Nilsson features "A Leap to Take" & "A Bridge to a Border"
Please turn to Page 2. :~>
Actor Ravi Valleti portrays Dr. Ray Satyajit in award-winning director Rob Nilsson's political thriller "A Bridge to a Border" currently streaming on Fandor.
Via FANDOR- Please stream my feature film "A BRIDGE TO A BORDER" (2014 Mill Valley Film Festival World Premiere), in which I play 'Dr. Ray Satyajit.' And my feature film "A LEAP TO TAKE" (2013 Moscow International Film Festival), in which I play 'Govinda.' Plus, 3 other ROB NILSSON feature films, "Collapse," "What Happened Here," and the 1988 Sundance Grand Prize Winner "Heat and Sunlight."

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