dead girl walking

          wherever i end up after this…                     in whatever reality...                                                                           all those moments between                                                                                           us were real,                                                                            and they’ll always be ours.

send one for my muse's reaction!

          alright here’s the situation,   i’m gonna be starting college relatively soon and so i’m working on getting some money saved up now so i ( hopefully ) won’t be stressing as over that on top of other college things,   so i thought i’d try taking up some commissions!!! 

                                     all prices are in usd,   payments accepted through paypal or vemno

*\ PROMOS

stationary ( typically one or two images ) : $5.00         examples here,  live examples. gif ( typically two to four images ) : $10.00         examples here,  live examples. aesthetic-esque ( one to two main images with four to six smaller images ) : $6.00         examples here,  live examples.

*\ ICONS

base icons( no psd,   screencaps resized & cropped to whatever dimensions you’d like )

100 : $3.00 250 : $6.00 500 : $10.00

icons with the works ( custom psd, border, dimensions, etc. )           examples here. 

50 : $3.00 100 : $6.00 250 : $12.00 500 : $20.00

gif icons  ( custom psd, border, dimensions, plus gifs made by hand. )         examples here.

15 : $3.00 25 : $6.00

*\ THEMES

stationary ( background graphic only ) : $10.00         examples here,  live examples. simple gif ( background graphic only ) : $13.00          examples here. custom code : to be announced.

*\ MISCELLANEOUS 

strong language. potential dark themes present.

“ i’m jumping, i’ve jumped, i’ve landed. ”

“ garlicky sheen shane. ”

“ this is bologna i’m flip-flopping again. ”

“ GHOST COP. ”

“ well, i mean it’s not a bear. ”

“ it could certainly kill a bear. ”

“ nope, hippopotamus. ”

“ FUCK YOU. ”

“ he’s the richard dreyfuss of this jaws story. ”

“ did she have anything on under the trench coat? ”

“ yeah, she had a hippie vibe to her. ”

“ she used to come here every thursday. ”

“ yeah. that shakes a tambourine. ”

“ i really wanna believe in something outside the norm of, you know, physics. ”

“ not when the history fights back! ”

“ do you always have to insult the ghost of the place we’re at? ” 

“ shame on him. ”

“ i don’t like that one bit. ”

“ you’re not a man of your word. ”

“ do you feel like it remembers you? ”

“ you’ll find out. ”

“ yet here i sit, like a freakin idiot. ”

“ that just fucking…. cut through that like a hot butter patty. ”

“ are you just afraid of anything that’s old? ”

“ look at your little stupid face. ”

“ i called it a motherfucker, i called it a coward. ”

“ my heart almost exploded. ”

“ your hard-on exploded? ”

“ i don’t think we’ve ever attempted anything more idiotic than this. ”

“ did you just fart? ”

“ it just slipped right out of your butt cheeks. ”

“ ahaha, gotcha…. ghosts. ”

“ i love your bones. ”

“ i just knew him as the guy who probably killed someone. ”

“If you’re gonna kill me, at least suck my dick first”

“Fuck my entire asshole”

“Oh, that’s right, just go straight on in without lube. I /appreciate/ it.”

“Man if I’m gonna get fucked a bit of foreplay would be appreciated”

“Dead. Again. Well good for me, now I’m FUCKT.”

“If you could NOT kill me, that’d be cool.”

“And fuck you. And you. Oh, and you in particular.”

“I swear to FUCK that I will find your family, drag them out in front of you, KILL THEM and then kill y–Oh, You’re dead now? Thank you.”

“Ah, yes, a trail of dead bodies. This can be nothing but good.”

“Oooh. What is tha– ABORT. ABORT. MONSTERS THAT WAY.”

“I am going to shove ten gallons of cinnamon lubricant down your throat if you don’t hurry up and fuck right on off very soon.”

“Oh. It’s a dragon. …Can I seduce the drago– Guess not. SHIT.”

“I don’t know you but I love you and we’re getting married and I’ll send you letters from my adventures and it’ll be really cool and romantic and shit.”

“Are you dead now? Good. I wanted your dress.”

“Man, fuck this place. Fuck this place in particular.”

“Why can’t I shit in that toilet. What sort of game is this.”

“Can I pee on this? No? STOP JUDGING ME IT’S AN IMPORTANT GAME MECHANIC.”

“Nope nope nope nopity NOPE”

“….Shit. You’re hot.”

“Holy fuck this game is making me gay.”

“See this map? Look at this map. I have a raging boner for this map.”

“I want you, and you, to smooch. Can you do that for me?”

“You know if things could STOP GRABBING ME that would be REAL NICE.”

“I don’t know if I want to punch him with my mouth or my fist.”

“I don’t even like kissing people and I want to tangle tongues with this fucker.”

“Holy fucking shit you’re LIMPING. Were you doing that before? Are you okay?”

“Okay but like. Couldn’t they have KISSED?”

“Yeah. Nope. Still gay. This entire roadtrip is gay.”

“Please zip up your shirt who wants engine grease on their tiddies? Seriously you’re gonna get burned.”

“Level 75 huh? …I ain’t fighting you. Looky here, there’s the road, you’re not looking at me, just gotta act casual… act casual… HAH YOU MISSED ME.”

“Can I eat this?”

“I hear wolves it can’t be the full moon ALREADY”

“God dammit dinner’s in heat”

slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!

❝ Let’s change the subject! ❞

❝ This is a weird conversation and I want to talk about a book I read about World War II.❞

❝ Whoever did kill her only did it to protect her from this world. ❞

❝ Ah, none of us really know their fathers. ❞

❝ I was sitting over on the bench. ❞

❝ You saw what happened and did nothing! ❞

❝ Sometimes, he was gay. ❞

❝ When he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work. ❞

❝ I never talked to my dad about that but I figured I’d tell you. ❞

❝ Freebasing is the greatest orgasm known to man. ❞

❝ I’ve been sober now two weeks. Well, weekdays, not weekends. ❞

❝ What was so funny? I wanna know. ❞

❝ None of that matters but it’s important to me that you know that.  ❞

❝ Phonebooks don’t leave bruises. ❞

❝ Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money! ❞

❝ I thought I’d be dead in a trunk by now. ❞

❝ You spent it already?! ❞

❝ Where’s the money? ❞

❝ I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and adderall. ❞

❝ Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep? ❞

❝ That’s illegal! They tricked me! ❞

❝ I paid 120,000 dollars for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t!❞

❝ If it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep-shirt. ❞

❝ Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? ❞

❝ Jokes don’t do well in court. ❞

❝ I’m in the phase right before Old. ❞

❝ I am damp all the time. ❞

❝ I am gross. ❞

❝ UGHHHHH – you know, life. ❞

❝ I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room. ❞

❝ I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason. ❞

❝ Let’s just not see each other for eight months and it doesn’t matter at all. ❞

❝ I was raised to be nice to everyone in every situation because you never know their story. ❞

❝ A lot of people don’t seem that nice and they seem to be doing fine in the world. ❞

❝ Not everyone thinks the same things are nice. ❞

❝ Famous people are weird as shit. ❞

❝ Your suspicions are correct. ❞

❝ I say ‘knock-knock’ out loud.❞

❝ The world is run by robots and we spend most of our time telling them we’re not a robot. ❞

❝ Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.❞

❝ It seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time. ❞

❝ I try to stay optimistic even though things seem to be getting a little sticky. ❞

❝ I don’t remember that in Hamilton. ❞

❝ I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. ❞

❝ What do you think they’re celebrating? ❞

❝ I wasn’t raised catholic and I’m fucking glad I wasn’t because it’s a fucked up organization. ❞

❝ That should be the slogan of the catholic church: It’s an hour! ❞

❝ God can’t hear you. ❞

❝ First of all, get out of here with your facts. Just ‘cause you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting. ❞

❝ A charming anecdote that was fake and never happened. ❞

❝ These meaningless politeness rules! ❞

❝ I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. ❞

❝ My wife is a bitch and I like her so much. ❞ 

❝ I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change. ❞

❝ I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff. ❞

❝ Brush your teeth! Now boom, orange juice! That’s life. ❞

❝ College is a $120,000 hooker and you’re the idiot who fell in love with her.❞

❝ STREET SMARTS! ❞