I post pictures of geriatric birds with funny text

What voice do yall imagine when you read "nice cock!" For me it's the announcer from Mario Golf Toadstool Tour

alarm cock idea: windows 95 startup sound and then the sounds of a hard disk being read to emulate the way you’re also booting up like a computer.

Oh

Knowing a fic author through AO3 is like attending someone’s thesis presentation and politely clapping at the end, knowing a fic author through this hellsite is like going over to their house at 3AM to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar

Sometimes I attend somebody’s thesis presentation and I’m so impressed that I follow them home to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar at 3am.

Sometimes I watch someone eat mayonnaise out of a jar at 3am with such fervour I am compelled to attend their thesis presentation

*right clicks you and saves you into a folder called “friends :)” on my desktop*

*goes into the folder and clicks and drags you around the screen for fun so it’s like you’re on a rollercoaster, or perhaps a big twisty slide*

touching the insides of a machine is erotic