LAB RAT

“Right! Element of surprise, right!” He didn’t want to ruin her fun, and kept quiet about his now heightened dog senses–he’d probably be able to hear and/or smell her coming. But he’d pretend to be caught off guard so she can still get the first attack in.

The security systems, right. Would be silly to think you could just waltz into a villain’s lair and expect to not be destroyed instantly….

“I’ve snuck into Boxmore before, but since VenDad’s helpin’ run the place now, it’s probably got all sorts of new stuff to protect it. But… we’re not sneaking in, right? It’s not Saturday, but I should be able to knock on the door without being hurt?”

   “... I guess I could just. letcha in. Save us both the trouble of having to actually arrange anythin’. I hate schedules.” She’s finally stopped stealing - opting instead to head for the drinks machine, to get herself some soda, because all this stealing is thirsty work.

“We’ll make up some dumb excuse for me letting you in, and then you can go hang out with my Boss, and ask your stupid question then. I don’t have t’ be anywhere near it when it happens, so... I don’t have to worry.“

I guess that makes sense. He does seem to enjoy buying her stuff, so why give her money to do it herself?

He watches her pockets as she shoves more stolen goods into it, assuming whatever she put in there was transported to some pocket dimension (literally) like Rippy Roo’s pouch. K.O. couldn’t help but wonder if she was the inspiration for the pockets on Fink’s dress…

“Right…we could fight later, then? After we get all This sorted out?” He suggested, hoping he’d be able to remember.

   Well, that and... Fink really couldn’t be trusted with money. She’d spend it all on something she didn’t need, and then go ahead and steal a bunch more stuff anyway. Just buying things for her was... so much easier.

“Obviously we’re gonna fight later. I just ain’t gonna schedule it or anythin’. More fun to just jump ya and get some hits in first while your guard is down.“

Fighting fair was boring. And so was showing up in those stupid boxes. Why make a big entrance when you can just sneak up on someone and pummel them into the ground? And you can rob them while you’re at it.

He grinned, pleased that Fink consulted his help, unaware that she was mostly just using him as a scapegoat.

His smile, however, fades when he sees her continue to shove snacks into her pockets. How much space is in there, anyway?

“Does Vendad not give you an allowance? Or do you just like stealing?” Is that why there’s no villain bodega? Because the villains would just steal everything from it?

   “I don’t need an allowance. I jus’ ask Boss for somethin’, an’ he buys it for me. I just like to steal.” At this point, she’s putting food into her pockets that should absolutely come out the other side. Science dress-coat-thing. Where else is she supposed to keep her favorite weapons?

He found himself feeling uneasy at her needing to pause and recollect herself. Was it because he’d begun to see her as a sister? Maybe.

“Help ask?” He repeated.

A few years ago, he would’ve rejected the idea– villains are always bad and helping them is always bad… right? That’s what he had believed back then, but now.. he wasn’t so sure. Plus, this was family issues– involving his own family. He had to help!

He smiled brightly. “Of course!”

   “Oh, uh. Uh- yeah!!! That’s what I thought you’d say!!” Why wouldn’t K.O. help with this? He helps with everything! And if Venomous did think it was a dumb question, maybe he’d let Fink shoot lasers at K.O. or something!

This was such a great plan.

Probably not a good thing that Fink is so set on the idea that Venomous wouldn’t think of her as a daughter, though. ... That, or she just really wants an excuse to attack any ol’ goody two shoes hero.

“Right, soery. He might not react well…”

K.O. tried to assume the best, even if it was nearly impossible. Just part of being a hero, he says.

Of course, this conversation brought up the thought that he had on occasion: why does he treat Fink much more like his child than him? He’d assumed it was because Venomous rescued her and turned her big and green, and he assumed that he hadn’t known he was his son until the Confrontation. But he always wondered if he had known about him the whole time…

He pulled himself from his thoughts, focusing back on the Rat in front of him. “I’m only trying to help!”

   “You’re always tryna help, K.O., that’s the problem!! Now I gotta think about all this, an’ if he doesn’t wanna be my dad it’s gonna be super weird that I even asked, and-” Okay, deep breaths. She’s... getting too worked up over this. Kind of a weird epiphany to have while she’s trying to rob someone.

“Well, yeah! He’s yer dad! Although… since he’s your Boss, too, he might not want you to. Unless he does see you as his daughter, and he would want you to.”

Don’t think that’s helping much.

“Maybe you should ask?” Sometimes y'need t'be direct.

   “What, I just walk up and ask ‘boss, are you my dad?’ an’ hope he doesn’t think I’m a total weirdo?” She’s assuming the worst immediately, for whatever reason. Venomous has never mentioned being her dad. He’s never even mentioned her actual dad.

Who is just. a normal rat. Fink never met him.

❝  as far as i’m  aware,  there are genuinely  no  advantages in being  this  short.  ❞

As the look of realization shows on her face, he knows that it finally dawned on her that the man that raised her from a wee rat was in fact, her father.

K.O. nods, smiling, happy that she had connected the dots at last. “Yeah! And I’m sure he sees you as his daughter, too.”

From what he’d seen and heard, Venomous certainly treated her like she was his kid.

   “... Does this mean I gotta call him dad? I never knew my real dad, cause... he was just a rat like me, before boss took me in.” She just. stuffs another pack of chips into her pocket without looking.

This is... a very weird concept to think about. Did that make Boxman her dad too, since him and Venomous were... a thing? She hopes not. She’s never calling him her dad, even if he is fun.

“And what’s th’ problem with that? The more friends, the merrier!”

He thinks about what she says next. Before he and Carol married, he still viewed him as a father figure, especially after they started dating. Said marriage only solidified his feelings, and led to him referring to him as Gardad.

“Well, Venomous is my actual dad, but Mr Gar feels more like a dad.” Basically, it’s about the Bond. Gar treated him like a son much longer than Venomous, and his relationship with the latter was always very rocky.

   “So he just... feels more like a dad, so he is your dad?” Is that really how that works? How does one feel like a dad? Venomous did raise her, and teach her to talk, and write, and ride a bike... and he makes her food, and helps her get dressed, and puts her drawings on the fridge, and-

Oh no.

Oh no.

“Him making you doesn’ mean he can’t be your friend! Me and my Mommy are best friends!” Not sure that’s the same thing but it’s what he’s going with.

He was getting the feeling that it was almost like she was refusing to understand– like she’d believed all her life that friendship is something to be avoided. He hoped he’d be able to change her mind eventually.

K.O. watches her shove more food in her pockets. “Well, I’m not a minion, but I do have a boss! And even before he became my dad, I’d call us friends!”

Much like Fink, his boss was also his father. But he was more willing to say it.

   “You’re the kinda weirdo that makes friends with anything with a pulse, K.O.. Ya ain’t exactly convincin’ me just cause you’re friends with your Mommy.” Obviously Fink didn’t know her Mom, since... y’know, she was a sewer rat. The idea of ‘moms’ in general is a confusing topic for the lab rat, since... y’know. Even if she did find hers, they wouldn’t be able to talk?

‘Boss’…He really seems more of a dad to her. Should I ask, or would that be rude?

“Right, you 'n your boss are pretty close! Y'give each eachother positive attention and get it in return!”

K.O. watches her steal the chips, and touches his fingertips together. “Is that not a friendship?”

Was he risking getting attacked? Yes. But he wanted to understand why Fink was so against friendship despite her bond with Venomous and, slowly, Boxman and his robo-kids.

   “... No?? I’m a lab rat, K.O.. He didn’t ‘make friends’ with me, he actually made me, or... raised me, or somethin’. I dunno. We’re not ‘friends’ just cause he’s nice t’ me.” Luckily, she’s not in the mood for a fight right now - she’s here for snacks, and maybe more origami paper. Not that she needs more, she just wants it. Being distracted by stealing isn’t why she’s not really registering the idea of being ‘friends’ with her boss, though. She just. doesn’t really understand friendship?

A candy bar joins the stolen chips in her pocket.

Although he has been working on Not suppressing his negative emotions, he still prefers to focus on the good and tries his best to radiate positivity.

His smile, however, falters when the girl continues speaking. He knew that most bullies tended to be rude to get a reaction out of others (such was his experience with Chameleon Jr), so what Fink told him didn’t surprise him. But that didn’t mean it upset him any less.

K.O. turns to watch her as she walks off.

“Y'know, you shouldn’t knock friendship ‘ntil you try it. Don'cha like getting positive attention?”

   Her eyes flick over to K.O. just in time to see that ever present smile of his fall, even slightly. It’s only a small thing, but it’s always nice to know she’s still got it. Not many people to bully on a planet full of burning buildings.

“I don’t need friends for that. My boss already give me positive attention. Like when I draw him stuff, or make lil’ paper foldy thingies, or do evil stuff!“ And yet, she’d deny it if anyone asked if Venomous was her ‘father’...