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@rataghoulie

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that one friend who isn't going to survive tonight
turn around bro lol
cats be like damn we are cuddling 😳 what if I bit you for no reason
when i was a teenager i used to catch myself thinking "i'm really glad i'm alive right now because of all the cool personal technologies that exist" and when i did i'd think it through and reckon that well, its not like teenagers in the 70s and 80s knew they didnt have ipods or facebook or whatever. they were also happy with the tech they had. and i'd reason that in the future there would be more fun technologies that i dont know i'm missing out on right now and the future will be an even cooler time to exist
anyway i was dead fucking wrong about that last part. i hate personal technologies now. i miss having an ipod that doesnt advertise shit to me and i miss when my htc wildfire didnt harass me 45 times a day to install an ai assistant and then install it anyway when i say no and i miss when the internet wasnt 5 websites all of which i have to log into and i miss when i didnt need an app to talk to my landlord. sorry past me you were actually right about 2009

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I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.
Audio transcription:
"'I need a woman with a wolf cut to beat me to death'- no you don't! You need- healthcare and universal basic income. That's what- Don't get distracted, okay?"
I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

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christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge
atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks
agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from
i mean typically this is like
>research shows testosterone HRT is not a contraceptive so you still need to use protection!
>ok. do you know if it has literally any effect on fertility whatsoever?
>lol no
>ok. so hypothetically how would a trans man on HRT know if he's pregnant?
>well silly girl :) you just check your period :) if you missed your period you might be pregnant! duh!
>ok. testosterone HRT stops your period after, like, 3 months though
>[windows error sounds] well then you can usually feel your breasts get heavier and more tender :)
>ok. what about people who don't have mammary glands anymore? how would that even work?
>listen i don't know. why don't you have a pregnancy test?
>those tests work by detecting a specific hormone. does HRT interfere with this hormone by either making it undetectable or stopping its production entirely or anything? how do i know the test itself is reliable?
>have you tried the morning after pill?
>the morning after pill is also hormone-based. how do i know it's reliable? does taking testosterone HRT have any impact on its efficiency? could it potentially cause an adverse reaction? could a trans man with updated ID documents even access it in the first place since the pharmacy only delivers it to people they think, at a glance, could be pregnant?
etc etc
like i dont know . i keep thinking of that doctor i saw three times at the goddamn hospital and to whom i explained the concept of taking hrt (prescribed) (controlled) (medical setting) three times and i still don't think he actually understood. "but you look different!" bingo doc that's what it does! "but ... can it actually change your body? :o" bingo doc ! that's what an """hormone"""" does . that's like its whole thing actually. that's what , it does ,
it's like the people at work (transcription) (remote office work) (linguistics) (spelling) (grammar) (writing) (language) (grammar) being confused at the concept of "pronouns". "what do you mean by "pronouns"?" cindy my belovedest ! i think the problem might not actually be that you don't know about The Transsexuals? i think you might actually just be worryingly bad at your job. you know? the job which is "know about grammar"? that job? the grammar job? the job that is about knowing grammar rules? that job? the one that you have? cindy? cindy. cindy look at me. CINDY,
IDK I think if cis men are being told that being fat will lower their testosterone and make them Insufficiently Masculine, and cis women are being told that being fat will raise their testosterone and make them Excessively Masculine, and fat trans people are being denied the right to medically transition if they're fat, and thin trans people are warned against HRT because it will make them fat (and this is said about both testosterone and estrogen HRT), and androgynous-presenting people are told that only thin people count as androgynous...
Then maybe...
Maybe...
Maybe the weight loss industry is just using Gender to enforce fatphobia.
caught her in perfect deviantart oc ref sheet pose

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following tai lopez on snapchat has really been an experience
here in my kitchen just bought this uh new grass fed non homogenized organic milk here
ok but why is there a man being held at gun point
here in my living room, i got this uh, hostage situation here
47 bullets in my gun account
I just got a really really good idea for a visual gag that unfortunately only works in an animated artistic medium that uses chowder style static textures for clothes. And now I’m pissed off that I can’t find a series of words to write a description of the gag that would have any chance of working as a joke because it requires too much setup and the punchline wouldn’t be punchy in a text medium. (T ^ T)
[In a Chowder style cartoon world where clothing uses static background textures]
Character A: *Accidentally spills something on her shirt and it leaves a stain*
*Looks around to see if anyone noticed.*
*Takes a few steps to the side, moving along the static background texture causing the stain to ‘slide’ away and not be visible anymore*
[later in the episode, a completely different scene with completely different framing]
Character A: *Walks along with the rest of the cast across the screen into the same spot on the screen where she was when she spilled on her shirt. The stain was on the same spot in the background texture this whole time she just happened to avoid it throughout the episode til now. This causes the stain to ‘slide’ onto her shirt again, but shes further from the ‘camera’ now so the stain covers way more of her shirt.*
Character B: *Points the stain out and laughs at her for managing to get such a huge stain on her clothes*
Character A: *Gets embarrassed and defensive saying it’s the shot composition’s fault*
Character C: *Looks up and scolds the animator for not doing the cast’s laundry between scenes*
Faceless animator from off screen: *Tries to make excuses about not having time and trying to meet the episode deadline*
Character C: *Crosses her arms and turns her head away, says she’s disappointed in them*
Offscreen animator’s giant hand: *Reluctantly grabs the static clothing texture and pulls it away*
Character A: *Her shirt clothing texture is replaced with blank white void. She gets embarrassed and tries to cover herself up as if she was naked*
[Cut to short live action sequence of the disembodied hand of the animator throwing the static texture cloth into the washing machine, adding stain remover and starting the machine.]
[Time passes. Cut to disembodied hand tapping its fingers impatiently right before the washing machine dings complete. The hand throws it in the dryer. Resumes tapping impatiently]
[Time Passes. Cut to disembodied hand seemingly being asleep, then the dryer dings waking them up. Hand takes texture out of the dryer. Starts bringing the texture back to the set.]
Character C, offscreen: *Shouts at the animator demanding they iron it too*
[Cut to disembodied hand frantically ironing the texture.]
[Cut back to animated scene with main cast still at the same scene. Character A is still embarrassed and trying to cover herself up. Character B is asleep and loudly cartoonishly snoring. Character C is looking up at where ‘the animator’ is, impatiently tapping her foot and scowling]
Disembodied Hand: *Frantically tries to put the texture back in place. Accidentally puts it on upside down.*
Character C, scowling: *Raises an eyebrow*
Disembodied hand: *Frantically rearranges the texture and finally gets it in place correctly*
Character C, eyebrow still raised: *Asks if they’re forgetting something*
Disembodied hand, ‘standing’ on the ‘ground’ of the scene with its middle and ring finger posed as legs and its pointer and pinky as arms: *Goes into dogeza pose and desperately apologizes*
Character C: *Accepts apology, but gives a threatening warning not to let it happen again*
Disembodied hand: *’Runs’ offscreen frantically*
[The episode resumes as if nothing happened. This gag is never repeated and is never addressed for the rest of the show’s running]