Raspy Dom

[My Master assigned another fascinating research topic and has allowed me to share my findings here. ]

What is cock worship?

Cock worship can be used to refer to a scene in which a submissive engages in a ceremony-like honoring of a dominant’s cock. It can also refer simply to the fantasy of worshiping/lavishing attention on the cock.

Too often women assume that a man just wants to be jerked off until he comes (or given a blow job to the same effect). This,  however, is not the aim of cock worship; rather, cock worship, in its truest form goes beyond the specific scene, into something much longer lasting,  more broad- reaching - it helps bring a man into his full masculine power, with the confidence to be himself, to bring his ideas into the world more fully. When his cock feels loved,  he feels loved. The more open he feels you are to receiving his cock, the more open he will believe you are to receiving him. So, the goal of cock worship is to savour every millimeter of his cock. Trying to make him cum is not at all what the process is about,  and may actually detract from your purpose.

How important is it in the dynamic?

Based upon my last paragraph, I would say it’s critical. Healthy dynamics function fairly simply from an external view - the Dominant takes the responsibility for and care of the submissive,  while the sub renders much of her choices and decision-making to the dominant. A voluntary power-exchange. But to make the choice to submit to someone, to trust someone, she wants that person performing at their very best.  For himself, and for her. If cock worship achieves that, increasing his libido, his confidence, his sexual power, then she absolutely would want this, as would he.

What is the proper way?

I came across something somewhat profound when i was researching.  Juliet Allen pointed out on her blog, “How often does a man have the full presence of their lover worshipping their penis? In everyday life, not very often. Presence is highly important and absolutely essential when worshipping cock.” When I think of the word “worship” it does make me think of something sacred,  of great import, and therefore being wholly present makes complete sense. Especially when you consider all the distractions that occur in our daily lives. So where to begin?

Especially if you have never done it before,  start with a discussion. What are you each comfortable with in the scene.  Set your boundaries. Set aside a specific amount of time, maybe thirty minutes to start.  Set the mood, dim the lights, light some candles, lay out some beautiful pillows or blankets,  turn on some quiet music, if you wish.

Keep it simple. Sit or kneel before your Dom, silently.  Eye contact is essential of course. Breath deeply. Count your breaths if you need to,  especially if you are nervous. Calm yourself. Being yourself into this moment. Watch and listen to Him breathe, the way His chest rises and falls with each breath.  Feel the energy, the power of His cock. If this is His first time experiencing cock worship, He may feel nervous too, or excited, or aroused, or all three…

Be careful now not to lose focus.  Don’t let your mind wander to that work issue,  or your kids that are frustrating you, or that homework assignment you are stressing about.  Stay fully present. Look at his cock. Keep eye contact, stay present and connected. Don’t lose your connection to him,  yourself, or the experience.

Tell him what you really love about his cock.  You still haven’t touched it with your hands, but your eyes have devoured it and now your words will do the same.  Don’t be shy, be specific, and detailed.

Notice how he tastes and smells; it will differ at different times of day,  season, etc. Tell him about it - how much you love his smell and the way he tastes,  how much it turns you on. Embrace his uniqueness!

You have begun by simply gazing at his cock without touch. Then, when you are ready, ask his permission to touch h his cock. After  all, if you are truly treating it as a sacred object, something to be revered, you would never just reach out and grab it without the permission of the diety or the one entrusted to safeguard it.  Once you have his ascent, slowly touch, then massage, eventually kissing, licking and teasing his cock gently with your hands and mouth. Bring awareness and loving presence to your touch; experiment with how you touch,  where, and in what combination.

Take your time, worship every single little inch - His balls, his asshole, his perineum, the base, the shaft, the tip, if uncircumcised his foreskin … worship his cock from end to end. You will both love the experience.

Don’t break eye contact as you worship.  Your eyes will tell him everything he needs to know about your sincerity in worshipping his member.  Don’t be afraid to tell him how much you love worshipping his cock, how much it turns you on, how much it makes your pussy throb and your heart beat for him.  Communicate!

For that matter,  don’t be afraid to ask him what he wants more or less of. What feels best,  what he loves, what he desires.

Now,  this all presumes cock worship is limited to a scene.  Is it? Should it be? Truly, cock worship can be affected throughout your day; tell him what his cock means to you as you’re washing the dishes,  tell him how much pleasure it gives you as you cook dinner. Tell him how much you love the strength, power, and love of his cock as you clean your room.  

How long should a sub worship?

The key is to take your time.  Don’t rush or hurry. You both may be nervous,  especially if this is your first time. The biggest mistake you can make is to hasten through this wonderful experience. It can be for just a few moments,  or if you have time and the inclination, an hour, or even longer.

An important concept is to treat his cock with reverence and respect.  Honor him and it with every word, even when timing is off or schedules don’t match up.  

How often?

Make time for his cock. Hold it, kiss it, suck it, receive it. Prioritise time for you and his cock, each and every day – if only for a few moments. It doesn’t have to be a full-on scene,  but making that time will make a significant difference.

Is ball and ass licking part of it?

This is part of your boundary setting conversation. If both of you are willing to include one or both,  then do. Don’t forget to reassess afterwards to determine what he liked and what he might like more of.  If there is something either one of you simply can’t abide by, talk about it!

Should she swallow?

Since orgasm is not a goal of cock worship,  this question is not relevant.

Super Daddy knew I was upset about something. My trademark sharp Inhalation followed by silence drove him instantly into comfort and communicate mode. He wanted to know what was wrong so that he could fix it for his Babydoll. He always wants to know. But, after a lifetime spent in situations where my feelings didn’t matter and my thoughts were unwelcome, I still have a difficult time sharing anything that may come across as even the slightest bit negative toward Super Daddy. Terror purposely instilled as a result of what I was taught was disrespecting, questioning, or criticizing authority figures isn’t easily unlearned. We’re working on it together.

We were watching an episode of Gilmore girls (the one where Jason tells Luke he and Lorelai are dating even though they aren’t), and Super Daddy sighed sadly during our postmortem of the show. “I know that’s something shifty guys do… but I can’t understand the logic. What is their endgame, exactly?” he asked. I responded that maybe a small percentage of them were mentally ill or actually deluded into thinking they were in a non-existent relationship. “That’s just like when a guy dates a girl in secret. Does she just convince herself he has benign reasons for doing that?”

*Sharp inhalation.* “Sometimes.” -_-

…

Silence.

“What’s wrong, my love?”

More silence.

“It’s safe to tell Daddy. Please talk to me.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter. It is obviously bothering you, and your feelings always matter to Daddy.”

“…sometimes, when Daddy has already made up his mind about something, and he tells me his decision or explains his reasoning to me, I feel like I shouldn’t say what I’m thinking when Daddy asks if Daddy’s choice makes me feel bad because that makes it seem like I didn’t accept his decision or respect it.”

Super Daddy sighed sadly. He has worked so hard to establish and maintain our dynamic, the main goal of which is no walls. But he’s fighting against so much conditioning that taught me it wasn’t safe to be emotionally naked, psychologically vulnerable, or free with my criticism of a man in position of leadership above me. He wants my feedback. He always asks for it. If he were a business, he’d be the one where the comment box is locked and only the owner has a key, because he reads each comment card personally and responds to the ones that require responses.

“Babydoll, you tend to feel this way sometimes, but every time I’m able to draw it out of you, Daddy doesn’t feel disappointed or upset; Daddy is just happy that you gave it all to Daddy. I care less about whether or not you think what you have to say is good and more about you telling me all the things so I can decide what needs my attention. If it helps you to think of it another way, not telling Daddy all the things is keeping things from Daddy that are already Daddy’s because they’re part of you, and all of you belongs to Daddy for always. Also, when you don’t tell Daddy, Daddy has to try and guess what’s wrong, and Daddy is really bad at that. If you give Daddy all the things, Daddy can fix.”

I sniffled a little.

“I know you want to know all the things. I know you don’t get upset even though it feels like you will. It’s just hard to tell you sometimes because it feels like I’m being disrespectful or arguing with you, especially if you’ve already made a choice and what you chose is hurting me.”

Daddy thought for a moment. He floated the idea of me texting him, as we’ve done sometimes when I’ve been selectively mute, but I was experiencing severe eye strain. (I guess six eye surgeries in a year will do that. Do not recommend.) And then, Daddy asked, “What if you tell one of your stuffies and Daddy just listens and doesn’t say anything until you’re done with your conversation?”

I appreciated that Super Daddy understood it would be a conversation twixt my bewinged friend and I. He was not new.

“That might work,” I said, starting to feel a little calmer and less like I was about to be interrogated. This was actually the first real talk Eleanor Roostervelt and I’d had.

She’d come to live with me a mere couple of days prior, sent by Super Daddy because of her special significance to our relationship. I wanted a punny chicken name that also honored her obvious inner strength, and, as usual, Super Daddy did not disappoint—coming up with a real gem that happened to also be a nod to my mom’s biggest role model. I picked Eleanor up and cradled her under her tail floof, gazing into her beady little black eyes and brushing the down out of them as I spoke.

“Hi, Ms. Eleanor Roostervelt,” I began. (I truly felt she was a Ms. kind of lady.) “I’m glad you came to live with me, and I hope your trip wasn’t too long and tiring. It’s kind of hard to tell, because you have a serious case of Resting Bitchface… but that’s okay: it’s one of the things I like about you. So many stuffies either have vapid, vacant expressions, like their designers have clearly never read the Velveteen Rabbit, or goofy permasmiles, but you keep it real. I think I can tell you’re always down to cut a bitch, and I appreciate that about you. I can just tell we’re gonna be ride or die.”

Super Daddy was laughing uncontrollably.

“I think you’re quite special, because, when Daddy was first talking to me about us maybe having chickens when I move there, as you are animals, which he loves, and you also produce eggs, and I’m on Keto to control my blood sugar, I wasn’t into the idea. I’m a city girl, so I’m not to keen on farm animals, and I’ve heard a lot about how mean and asocial chickens can be. But Super Daddy knew just how to entice me to agree to his plan, and he told me about chickens like you—Silkies, which we could have because you’re from Australia too. He said how you never grow feathers, but always have soft down your whole lives, and that you love snuggles and attention. No, I cannot relate. I have no idea what you’re talking about. He showed me a picture of some Silkies in hairbows, and I was sold!”

“I *squeed* with excitement and said that we needed hairbow chickens. I instantly wanted to cuddle and play with and put hairbows in every single one of you. He laughed, knowing he’d had that ace in his pocket the whole time. So, Eleanor Roostervelt, you represent our future together.”

She RBFd sagely up at me from beneath her houndstooth hairbow. I could tell how much she loved rocking it.

“But, as amazing as Daddy is, and as much as I love him and dream about the life we’re going to have together, I’m also sad and scared and hurt. I know this is something really hard about long distance relationships, and I’m a pretty private person IRL too. But, we’ve been together and really serious for a long time now. We spend almost all day, every day on Skype together, awake and asleep. Daddy takes care of me. He says we’ll be together for always, and that we are getting engaged when he comes to visit. He says I’m his most important priority, and he shows me it’s true.”

I took a deep breath. The next part was difficult to get out. I stroked her soft wings and tail floof as I spoke.

“But, my Mom and my friends all know about Super Daddy. …they don’t know a lot about our relationship, but they know how important he is to me and how serious we are, and that we’re getting married and I’m moving to Australia to live with him. So, it hurts that Super Daddy doesn’t want his family to know we aren’t just kind of dating but that he wants to marry me and we’re planning for me to live there. Like maybe he knows I’m not good enough for him and they’ll know that,” I started sobbing.

Daddy’s silence—as promised—was palpable.

“Like he’s embarrassed about me, or he thinks they’ll hate me or that I’m catfishing him or something. I don’t know how to be better for him. I don’t know how to be good enough that he wants to tell his family he said I’m the one. And I understand he doesn’t tell them every little thing… that it’s different with him because he doesn’t live with them and he’s so independent, but it just really hurts and I feel like I can’t say anything because he told me he decided he wasn’t going to tell them until we were engaged.” The rest of my worlds dissolved into tears until nothing was left of our girl talk but the sobs wracking my body. I felt I should be more composed for our first kaffeklatsch. Oh well.

“Babydoll, is that everything you wanted to say?”

I couldn’t speak through my hicuppy tears.

“Oh, Little One. How long have you been holding onto that?”

I forced myself to take a deep breath so I could answer. “Since you said you wanted me to be yours for always.”

“But that was forever ago, my love!” Super Daddy sounded aghast and sad.

“Yeah. I know.”

“And you’ve been carrying that this whole time, Princess?”

“Well, yeah…. I mean, I felt like I couldn’t tell Daddy, because Daddy already made his choice and told me what it was. And it’s Daddy’s family and Daddy’s life and also Daddy decides, so I didn’t want to disrespect Daddy by telling him it hurt.”

“Oh, Little One. Daddy does decide… you’re right about that. But Daddy always cares about your feelings and wants to take them into account if he can. So Daddy needs to know your thoughts and feelings before he makes a choice so he knows which one is best for us, because they are a factor. Now, obviously, there are situations like when Daddy makes medical decisions for you that you don’t like at the time, but they are in your long term best interest. And, when you move here, you’ll be my wife. Daddy’s family will be YOUR family too. We’ve talked about that. They’re going to love you. Of course I think you’re good enough, you’re better than good enough, and I get to decide that because Daddy decides.”

I sniffled.

“Babydoll, I had absolutely no idea you were feeling this way. That must have been awful for you. I’m so sorry! Daddy never meant to make you feel that way. Daddy never wants you to feel like that. And Daddy told his family about our plans long ago. I said I’m going to visit you and propose, and then, when we have the money and visas figured out, we’re going to get married and you are coming back here to live with me as my wife. I though I had told you. I am so sorry! It must have slipped my mind. You know how forgetful Daddy can be sometimes.”

Long silence.

“Oh,” I said in a smol voice.

“…were they mad or disappointed?”

“Of course not, my love! They were very happy for me. Do you remember the night somebody threw a rock through your window? My Mom prayed for you for four hours. She had her whole church group praying for you too. She fully supports our relationship.”

“Your Mom really did all that for me? That’s so amazing! Maybe I should write her a letter or something. And they’re really okay with it? …with me?”

“Babydoll, that sounds like a wonderful idea. She would love it! And I’ve told them all about you, and they also trust my judgment. They’re just happy and supportive and they love me, and they’re going to love you too, Babydoll. No negative feelings at all. Okay?”

“…okay. Daddy, I’m sorry. What I said must have hurt you and it was disrespectful.”

“No. No, it wasn’t. Daddy asked you to tell him how you felt. That was the most respectful thing. It didn’t hurt at all, and knowing it was hurting YOU made it so Daddy could fix. If you hadn’t told Daddy that, you would still be carrying it, and then Daddy wouldn’t have been able to fix it and help you feel better. Daddy wouldn’t have been able to do his job. See?”

“Yes, Daddy. I understand. It’s just hard to say stuff like that to you sometimes. It was actually a lot easier to talk to Eleanor Roostervelt about it because it didn’t feel so much like I was criticizing you. It was more like sharing my feelings with a friend. That was a good idea, Daddy. …also, tanku for my hairbow chicken friend! I love you.”

You have adopted a title that should come with a giant heaping dose of honor, respect, and trustworthiness. 

1. Don’t make demands of submissive girls that don’t belong to you. You should know the difference between having the ability to control your own submissive, and how you should be treating all the rest that don’t belong to you.

2. Don’t talk intimately/woo other submissives behind the back of the one that belongs to you. All the time and energy you have to put into the submissive world should be aimed at your own submissive. If you want a different submissive, do the right thing, and break with the one you currently own first.

3. Don’t ditch submissives. How would you feel if the person you depend on for nearly everything suddenly went up in a puff of smoke, and was never heard from again? How would it effect your ability to trust someone else to take up the same role in your life? Stop ghosting, and ruining perfectly good submissives. 

4. Don’t cut your submissive out from contributing to your relationship. Yes, I know she put you in charge, but relationships evolve, and if you don’t attend to what she wants out of yours, your relationship is likely to evolve in separate directions. You can still be in charge, and listen to her wants and needs, I promise. 

5. Don’t ask someone you just met to be your submissive. It’s your job to inspire her to submit to you, by getting to know who she is, and showing her that you are the single most qualified man to be her Dominant. Don’t be lazy. Being a Dominant takes a lot of focus and energy. If you’re not up for that, go find another title to adopt. 

6. Don’t put your submissive on a shelf when caring for her is not convenient to you, and take her down off the shelf when it suits you. Submissives are human beings, and though some of them like to be treated like objects from time to time, they should not be ignored when you don’t feel like dealing with your relationship. If you don’t have to the time and energy to adopt the role of Dominant for someone, then don’t do it in a half-assed way.

7. Don’t compare your current submissive with past submissives. It’s not a competition. You should be making her feel like she’s the most important person in your current world, so don’t make her feel like she’s less than other submissives, or that you’re pining for something you no longer have, and feel you can’t have with her. 

8. Don’t skimp on the essential ingredients in D/s relationships. Don’t be that guy who limits your submissives safeword in any way. A safeword is the difference between consensual sex, and possible rape and abuse. Don’t skimp on aftercare. Let her know how much you appreciate all the control she continuously allows you to have over her, and how well she is performing for you. It’s the difference between a proud and happy submissive, and a sad and confused one. 

9. Don’t make unilateral decisions that your submissive is directly opposed to. You don’t get to decide your submissive needs a sister because it suits you to have a second submissive to play with, when it’s patently against her wishes. Once again, it’s her relationship too. 

10. Don’t lie to your submissive. It’s all about trust. It’s trust that inspires her to submit to you. It’s trust that inspires her to allow you to continue to hold her submission. One or two breaches of trust, and it all falls apart. 

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize

For all those men who say, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here’s an update for you…………….

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a very intelligent man!

 Although everyone into the BDSM scene has heard of endorphins, actually very, very few people really understand what they are, how they work, what the “high” is all about and how one can correctly induce the body to produce them. This short primer will answer those questions, and serve as a guide for anyone topping another so that they may successfully send their bottom into a very deep endorphin stupor! (Also known as leaving them in a big puddle of quivering ecstasy!)

The endorphin high is caused by a bunch of natural, morphine-like chemicals the body pumps into your brain to reduce your sensitivity to pain (thus raising your pain threshold.) The fact that the body seems to release these endorphins in measured ‘loads’ is a key to understanding how to 'play’ the body to produce these 'loads’ and 'release’ them into the body and brain region when the 'load’ is ready. One has to keep in mind that another chemical – adrenalin – is also produced by the body in reaction to pain, and its behavior should be understood also. This is covered later more thoroughly in the section at the end on aftercare – which is a VERY essential element in guaranteeing the success of the effort, as you will see.

The endorphin 'loads’ as they are available in the body are released in their entirety, and after a 'load’ is released, it takes the body about ten minutes to generate the chemicals for another one. After the body has been induced to release (or 'inject’) a 'load’ into the system, you must then continue stimulating the body for at least ten minutes in some manner before the body will be ready to release another one. This stimulation can be just about anything – sensation play, light paddling or flogging, light caning, etc. – and it does not have to be intense or even nearly match the intensity of stimulation that had caused the release of the last 'load.’

Once prepared, an increase in stimulation over a five minute span up to a measured 'climax’ will trigger the body to release the freshly prepared 'load’ (based upon the submissive’s current pain threshold, “measured” to push them over a new edge.)

So, armed with this information, what does a session look like from the top’s and bottom’s point of view? This should break it down for you.

When a scene first starts, there are no endorphins in the submissive, and even fairly light torment is very stingy, ouchy, and, well, painful! There is an endorphin reserve already in place that is awaiting release into one’s body in case of an emergency, and after just a few minutes of even relatively mild stimulation building to a mild climax, this reserve 'load’ is released, and suddenly the pain threshold clearly rises and the subject can easily tolerate what earlier may have been pushing their limits, making them jump around and squirm, for instance. This new, more pain tolerant state is Level One. There is no altered state of consciousness yet – but there is an increased pain threshold.

Once this has happened, for the top it’s basically just about treading water for ten minutes and doing anything that provides relatively light but constant stimulation to induce the bottom’s body to prepare/create their next 'load’ for release. This is a good time for sensation play, or light paddling, flogging or whipping – and since the only requirement is that it remain fairly constant stimulation, it is a chance for the top to relax for a bit, since the stimulation can be very mild and be easy and relaxing to apply during this time.

Once the ten minutes has passed, a build in intensity over a subsequent five minute period will excite the body to a peak, and a sudden 10–15 seconds or so of intense stimulation just beyond the person’s current pain threshold limit will trigger the body to eject its freshly made, current load into the bloodstream. Now the bottom will be at  Level Two – with still no perceivable altered state of consciousness (beyond panting in relief that you, the top, have ceased with the intense bit!), but there is a considerable  and noticeable leap in pain threshold now.

Following this, again, ten minutes of mild, easy stimulation to provoke the body into generating the next load as quickly as possible. Keep this well below the pain threshold you’ve now created, with just a little intense whack, etc. every so often, about a minute apart. This will keep the adrenalin build up to a minimum, for reasons explained later on. Take it easy, tops, relax, rest that arm and wrist a bit! Then, this relaxing ten minutes is followed with five minutes of building the intensity again to well above the previous level, as the bottom’s pain threshold is pretty high already now and they can take a lot more before the body interprets this as being 'in crisis’ and thus triggers the endorphins’ release. Finished off with 10–15 seconds (up to a minute) of a real intense, over the edge push, and the body will inject that next load.

Now at  Level Three, the bottom will definitely feel a little bit 'woozy’ — exhibiting a “mildly drugged” state. Their eyelids should become heavier seeming, and they will fall into a more relaxed condition than before, with more low moans and groans, and with their inhibitions becoming more relaxed. Again, applying ten minutes of any relatively mild stimulation (don’t have to work hard, tops!), followed by a five minute build to a 10–15 second intense climax now that is WELL beyond the previous one, will result in the next endorphin “load” being released to push the bottom into a very nice Level Four head space.

At this Level Four state, there will be a very definite altered state of consciousness in evidence, and the bottom will feel clearly drugged and will be very compliant and submissive now. This is countered, however, by the largest charges of adrenalin they have received so far (from the intense climax just used to push them over this “edge”), so they are still quite communicative and their reaction time is still quick (even hypersensitive – a small whack with a paddle, cane or whip can now generate a huge amount of twitching or jerking of the subject’s body with certain bottoms.) Now, during the ten minute 'treading water’ period for the top, the moans and groans will be longer and deeper, the body often limp in it’s restraints, and the reactions to the occasional harder 'strikes’ will be obvious and even somewhat amplified. This is the tops finest time – they can still relax and obviously not be exerting themselves very hard, yet produce fine moans of ecstasy from their bottom with hardly any provocation! The pain threshold is high, even if the reaction time is increased due to the adrenalin, so harder occasional strikes are welcomed, and the reactions are certainly encouraging!

After this ten minute “endorphin replenishment” period, now it is important to be very sensitive to the limit levels crossed earlier, as you begin that five minute build in intensity that will end in the most intense limit pushing you might do with the bottom for this session (if you are stopping at level five). The bottom will have a very high pain threshold at this time, but also will be fairly groggy (in spite of the adrenalin-fueled reaction times) and less able to communicate their safe word – in fact, will now be so compliant that it is very UNLIKELY that they would use it even if they should do so! So, push this “grand finale” with finesse and sensitivity to what is going on with your bottom! At the other end of the 10–30 second climactic build in intensity – in a wonderful blast – this latest endorphin load will push the bottom into Level Five: a state of supreme ecstasy, docility, and the ability to take just about anything you could throw at them. They will become very limp and relaxed very suddenly – and be very clearly in an altered state of consciousness now.

This is the point most people end the scene and remove the bottom to cloak them in a blanket and begin the all-important aftercare … and unless you know your bottom extremely well, this is where the session should end. However, for those in that category of knowing their bottom’s limits and abilities quite well, the rules and timing are the same as with the earlier segments. Now, your 'mild’ stimulation could be fairly intense if you wanted it to be, and the bottom will become extremely submissive – and receptive – and accepting of any amount of stimulation you could lay on them. This is a dangerous condition, because there is NO WAY a person will utter a safe word in this condition – they can barely talk at all! So, it is best to keep the stimulation relatively intense but not too too (Note: the stronger intensity applied now will hold up the adrenalin levels, and the combination with the elevated endorphins levels creates a condition of intense excitement and of simultaneously intense ecstatic relaxation for the bottom, so they’ll be into receiving whatever is being doled out. More on adrenalin in a minute, though!) Again, finish off after the ten minutes with a building in intensity to one beyond that reached earlier, with a 10–15 second extreme point, and the next 'load’ will be released. So, now we have brought the bottom to a very amazing  Level Six! (But, again, this should only be attempted with a bottom whose limits and abilities are already very well known! The top is working without the benefit of safe words being utterable, in most cases by this time, so care must be exercised this whole while.)

With all the adrenalin now in the body – as well as the complete release of inhibitions from the heavy dosing of endorphins now in their brain – behavior of the bottom can become unpredictable at this point, and you should be prepared to restrain against some wild thrashing and arm flailing that could take place (at least be out of harm’s way!) The person/bottom is going to be in such an intensely altered state of consciousness now that their reactions could possibly be of an extremely primitive nature, and they may be capable of only 'animal-like’ noises and reactions, and no or very little recognizable speech. So, watch out! Following this reasoning, approach the subject as you would a wild animal – very gently, talking soothingly and gesturing in a calming manner. Be prepared for sudden wild jerking, or seeming attempts to 'get away.’ And don’t take it personally! At Level Six, this person is totally ga-ga! Be assured, they are enjoying every millisecond of this experience! And a very long period of dreaminess is now in store for them – if their aftercare is handled properly!

So, why do I go on and on about the aftercare? The work of putting endorphins into the subject’s body is finished, right? Well, yes, but you have also succeeded in putting very, very large amounts of adrenalin into their system, and adrenalin is tricky stuff. Even at Level Four, aftercare is important now because of they way adrenalin burns off – it burns off very quickly – compared to endorphins, which burn off very slowly. At Level Five or Level Six, there is enough adrenalin in the body that it will take 10 to 20 minutes for it to burn off (even up to half an hour!), and during this time, the bottom very likely will experience a number of adrenalin 'crashes’ (similar in a way to coffee jags), and some of these can be very intense — and even quite frightening! They will need to be kept warm and be held and comforted AT LEAST throughout this period of adrenalin burn-off. My feeling is that if you don’t care enough for the bottom to enjoy cuddling and caressing with them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn’t be taking them to any Level Six endorphin/adrenalin levels! (Or even perhaps to a Level Four!)

This adrenalin “crash” experience for the bottom is something many, many tops are unaware of, and they have no concept of the amount of harm they could be doing to someone’s psychological state by not performing adequate, loving, fondling and comforting aftercare during this time. All the bottom needs now is to be held and to hold you (or whoever you assign to perform aftercare) back – in order to be comforted by your presence, and to be allowed to make you become the entire focus of their awareness. No stroking, or massage, or other stimulus is needed or even desirable at this time. What is important is to keep in verbal contact with the bottom (not requiring words as responses, merely nods), instructing them every little while to relax. The adrenalin will have them in a very agitated state – high heart beat and breathing levels, etc. – and this situation is completely counter to the endorphin experience.Sure, they have a ton of endorphins in their system, but the adrenalin is presently holding them off from experiencing the full effect of them. The top’s guidance is extremely important at this time to help them relax through the adrenalin burn-off period.

The important thing to realize is that, if not actually 'talked down’ out of the adrenalin agitation, the person could easily never allow themselves to relax enough to even feel the massive content of endorphins that currently exist in their system! (Maybe you’ve all seen the bottom who, after 45 minutes to an hour of intense stimulation to the point of near-total collapse on the cross or bench, is released and – after a mere couple of minutes – is just mingling around and talking and mixing with people as if nothing ever happened. These people are floating on a self sustained adrenalin buzz. This not only is likely to be unhealthy, but these bottoms are cheating themselves out of a long, long stretch of total endorphin-induced ecstasy!)

Step-By-Step Aftercare Instructions

So, while gently holding the bottom and letting them hold you back, coo softly and comfort them, and tell them to go ahead and to let themselves relax. You will feel them do so as they comply to your wishes, as they are quite docile and compliant to receiving instructions at this point. But they will also slowly tense up again from the adrenalin. Keep reminding them to relax, telling them to give themselves permission to relax totally. As they begin to succeed at doing this after a while, some will encounter a frightening feeling, which some describe feeling as if 'falling off a cliff,’ and they will tense up a great deal from fright in that event. Or, they might encounter a feeling of intense 'blackness’ (as the endorphins get a chance to relax even their optic nerve) and they will freak out and pull back from relaxing again.

If they report such experiences (or even before they do) tell them not to fear that, but to let it go and pass through it – telling them to relax themselves through the sensation of falling or blackness with the understanding that this is quite normal and is a common experience. Once they do that, having learned to “relax through it”, they will be “in it” after that point, and will begin to relax very deeply, very often seeing colors and beautiful technicolor visions and dreamlike landscapes, spaces and places. How sweet!

Once this happens (which, again, will take at least 10 minutes — and up to a half hour for some, depending on the amount of adrenalin that they must burn off), then your bottom needs only a little more loving attention, and can then be left bundled in a blanket somewhere on their own to float in a happy bubble, very possibly for hours!

Tops should be mindful of the fact that if they had intended to have sexual play with their bottom, they should probably fit that in around level three or four, for after hitting level five, their bottom may be too floaty to be able to concentrate for long on what they are doing. Then again, that can sometimes result in extremely passionate and inhibition-free indulgence, resulting in heights of ecstasy and orgasm never before experienced. But, if your bottom drifts out on you or loses their erection, don’t say I didn’t warn you! There’s no telling which way they will go at level 5 or 6!

“Flying”

There is another factor that can produce an altered state of consciousness FAR FAR beyond even that of the most extreme endorphin experience. This is experienced by submissives whose intense focus upon their Master or Mistress (their Dominant) – and upon pleasing them – eventually leads to a hallucinogenic kind of altered state known commonly in the BDSM community as “flying,” having an almost mythological aura surrounding the word by now, though for very good reasons! It is probably the most profound experience one can have as a submissive. It involves a state of intense devotion towards the dominant (who is not just a mere “top” at this point!) that borders upon religious worship, with complete trust and a total commitment to please and satisfy them thoroughly. Through the attainment of a complete selflessness and focus on the dominant, a transformation takes place that is very, very deep, almost trance-like.It can become so profound as to produce an extended, hallucinogenic state that is very wonderful and blissful. Many have reported even seeing visions under the spell of this “flying” effect. All have attested to the profound sense of peace and bliss they have experienced while even near the “edge” of this state.

This “flying” state can be attained by some with very little endorphin content in their system (some say even with none, but I’m quite certain most folks have attained at least a level Three or Level Four endorphin high in order to trigger the total release of inhibitions which this psychological state seems to require, at least generally speaking.) With practice, the release into this “flying” submissive-space should come easier and easier, eventually with even a mere suggestion being able to trigger the effect for some with very little or even no endorphin content being in the picture. COMBINED with the level 5 or 6 endorphin head space, there likely can be no deeper state of ecstasy possible for the bottom — short of total enlightenment! Until such an experience of full enlightenment can be accomplished, perhaps the attainment of this interim bliss is quite acceptable, and certainly should be considered an attractive and enjoyable state to be in! The secret ingredients are intense focus; a commitment to please the dominant utterly; and complete and total devotion! These ingredients – with some endorphins in the mix – should produce a quite satisfying effect for both the submissive and the dominant!

The Benefits Of Getting Spanked

Many people believe that if someone likes to get spanked, it is all sexual. That is not the case all the time. Even though getting spanked has some sexual effects or enhances sexual arousal, there are many non-sexual benefits from getting spanked. What can spankings do for you?

1. Getting spanked relieves stress.

2. Getting spanked is calming.

3. Getting spanked generates endorphins and puts you in a euphoric state.

4. Getting spanked generates adrenaline and gives an adrenaline rush, especially if you are anticipating getting a very harsh one.

5. Getting spanked lifts moods. Russian psychiatrists have found success in treating depression with bare butt whippings.

6. The marks left from getting spanked is like an art of its own.

7. For some, it can restore feelings of youth.

Don’t be ashamed of getting spanked, enjoy it! For those who never tried it in your adult years, give it a try. You never know, you may like it.

I arrived home from work the other night sweaty and tired.  The temps here are pushing 90 degrees Fahrenheit before 9 a.m. and humidity is over 90% (for my Celsius friends, it was 42C today.)  The weather, stress from the job, the commute, they just suck the life right out of me some days.  

There were dishes to put away and laundry to fold. I was still in my work “uniform” of steel-toed boots and thick socks, jeans, T-shirt and collared shirt, hair plastered back in a straggly ponytail, limp from hours in a hard hat.  Unloading bags onto the kitchen counter, I wistfully thought of that old commercial “Calgon, take me away!”

I asked Crusoe what he wanted for dinner, to which he replied, “whatever is easiest for you.”

I just sighed and turned around, defeated.

Immediately, he came around the corner, grasped me at the nape of my neck and gave a tug down.

I went to my knees (gently, as the tile floors are unforgiving.)

Crusoe pulled my head to his leg and stroked my hair.

“I didn’t answer your question did I?”

“No, Sir.”

What followed was a discussion where Crusoe recognized that I actually did want him to pick something for dinner.  I was happy to make the dinner, but in that instant when I asked, I couldn’t make one more decision.

Some might say that as his submissive it is my obligation to know what Crusoe likes, I shouldn’t need him to decide, I should just do it.  I get that, and nine times out of ten I’ve got meals locked down.  Yet there are times when “whatever is easiest” is for him to make a choice so that I can just do – and know that what I’m doing is exactly what he wants.

Crusoe’s response to my dinner dilemma was so comforting. No muss, no fuss, just an acknowledgment that there are times I just need an answer, doesn’t need to be an “important” subject, sometimes the answer is as simple as tacos.  

Oh goodness… see this is why I shouldn’t leave Tumblr for a long span. I’m certain this was in reference to something but can’t for the life of me remember what… 🤔

Anyway, to answer your question: Yes. Each day when @1sadisticlover gets home, I loosen the laces on each of his boots and kneel before him.

This gets me in the right mindset to serve.

On the days when I get home after him, I’m often frazzled and waspish until he has me kneel. But when we have our uninterrupted ritual of his boots being removed, things go beautifully.

This small act reminds me of His importance and calms my mind. It makes me feel safe and useful. His hand stroking my hair as I unlace them reminds me that I’m cherished.

I’m interested though, and embarrassed that I’ve never asked, what the moment means for you, Sir. If you’d like, would you tell your side of this part of our routine?

@spoiled-lil-kitten