Ok let’s be real, you are not going to keep any resolutions, so stop making them. I am not saying you can’t make improvements, just don’t be delusional about your reality.

Set goals, challenge yourself. Explore, travel, have experiences.

Be true to you and have fun while doing it.

Ok look, it’s almost Christmas.  Yeah, I know, we just bypassed Thanksgiving.  Anyway… don’t hurt yourself. 

Hear me out. Times are… hard, crazy, stupid, insane, confusing and a hot mess.  Don’t do anything to make it more difficult for you. Don’t do things to please other people if it’s stress on you.  That whole buying gifts you can’t afford that nobody is going to use, thing.  Offering to host Christmas dinner when you know dag on well you don’t feel like it b/c you have to clean the house, decorate the house, plan the menu and make sure Uncle Doug doesn’t sit next to Uncle Andy at the dinner table b/c Uncle Andy never returned Uncle Doug’s lawnmower and now Uncle Doug hates Uncle Andy.  Whew, that was a lot.

But seriously, don’t stress yourself out.  It should be a time for you to relax and enjoy slower days and sleep until noon. Time to have your favorite coffee and breakfast pastry while watching the yule log. Time to lounge in your PJs and binge watch that show you’ve been meaning to watch for months. Time to decide what is important to you and for you.

How badly do you want to leave this place? Yeah, I thought so. What are the things that are keeping you from leaving this hell hole? Family, job, finances? If you could leave, where would you go?  Why would you go to that particular place?  Is there anything you would miss if you left this cesspool.

Love,

I want to say I am sorry but then I had to think about the fact that I have nothing for which I should be sorry.  I didn’t do anything wrong. I did my part to make sure we were ok. So, I guess I’ll say I feel bad for us, I feel fearful for us, I feel…sorry for us.

I don’t know what went wrong.  I don’t know why people did what they did; the wrong thing.  I don’t know what people were thinking; the wrong thing. I don’t know what people thought was going to happen; the wrong thing.

We are not ok, we will not be ok.  We are fucked. We are screwed. We are doomed.

Is there a way out? Is there any light at the end of the tunnel. No and nope.

Sorry I couldn’t be more hopeful for you.  That was my intention, but the best intentions don’t always work out.

I am…sorry.

Home, the place you go after a long day of dealing with the world.  Your refuge, your oasis, your sanctuary, your quiet place.

Home, the place for family gatherings, dinners, parties, reunions.

Home, a place that holds memories, memorabilia, your favorite pair of jeans, your favorite blanket, your favorite…everything.

It’s all gone.

 You are allowed to be upset.             

You are allowed to be hurt.

It’s ok to be angry about losing your home.

I feel for you.

Love,

What are you doing?

              Chillin’ at home.

Why?

Because I pay a monthly fee for my space and I am determined to get my moneys’ worth.

You should go out.

              Um, no, because people out there are crazy.

I am normalizing chillin’ at home.

Thank you for your attention.

What the hell happened? What went wrong? Are we all having the same nightmare? Wake up!!! Do you leave, go abroad, find a safe haven? How do we survive? If you have the strength:

              Don’t be afraid. Be brave.

              Don’t hide. Stand tall.

              Don’t back down. Step up.

              Make your own peace.

              Take care of each other.

              Breathe…

Go on a diet, only eat sweets on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. Exercise more, but only Tuesday and Thursday. Stick to a budget, only buy shoes every Friday. Declutter and organize for 1 hour every 4th Saturday.  Streamline wardrobe after you buy all new clothes every Sunday afternoon.  Are these New Year’s Resolutions? Well kind of, in a way, sort of.

Why do we do this to ourselves when we know good and well that we are not going to keep these resolutions.  Ok, ok, I am being negative Nelly, let me stop.

There is too much pressure to keep these New Year’s Resolutions and we just disappoint ourselves when we don’t keep them. So instead, how about we do this, just say that you will work on changing how you do things.  This could mean anything, the way you eat, the way you manage your health, the way you deal with people, etc. Whatever you decide to “change” in the new year, make sure you do it for you and your wellbeing.

Needless to say, we have been through waaaaayy too much the past couple of years. So, let’s not be too hard on ourselves. Just do the best that you can.  

Oh, and Happy New Year!!!

Is it my broad nose and thick lips that you hate so much? Or is it my natural wide curves that that you hate so much? I won’t apologize.

Is it the kink in my hair and the melanin in my skin that you hate so much? Or is it my bright wide smile that appears on my face on a sunny day that you hate so much? I won’t apologize.

Is it the sistah sway in my walk and the confidence in my speech that you hate so much? Or is it my generosity, graciousness and sincerity that you hate so much? I won’t apologize.

Whatever your reason, I won’t apologize.  I am unapologetically BLACK.

What were you doing a year ago?  Having dinner with bae, brunch with the girls, drinks with co-workers? A year ago we were living our lives happy and oblivious.  A year ago were we told to WFH for a couple of weeks. We packed up essential office items, had our work laptops upgraded or traded in for a better one, and ran for the hills, or your home, whichever you prefer, thinking we’d be back in a couple of weeks at most. Time marched on, weeks turned into months, months tuned into a year. Who knew a year ago we’d still be home, working, cooking more meals than we have in a lifetime, yearning to be outside among complete strangers enjoying that mimosa and ricotta pancakes on the restaurant patio (not inside a plastic bubble).

 What have we experienced?

We have Zoomed, Teamed, Duo(ed), and Facetimed ourselves into oblivion.  We have said “your muted” more times than we’ve said, “good morning.”  We’ve seen virtual backgrounds, kitchen sinks full of dirty dishes and the mischievous child lurking behind mom or dad. We’ve heard household chores going on in the kitchen, dogs barking at the mailman and children’s virtual classes happening in the other room. We’ve heard oh sorry I got kicked off, my WiFi went out, is my screen frozen, can you still hear me. We’ve had technical glitches and technology frustration. We’ve become tech wizards and computer scientists, all-be-it unwillingly.

 What did we do?

We prepared more meals than a chef on the Vegas strip (no worries, I am still getting takeout from somewhere).  We made sourdough bread (I don’t really understand why sourdough and not pumpernickel), we made our own coffee and steamed our own oat milk (I still want that coffee shop latte though, so baristas don’t leave me), we did our own hair (don’t worry professional stylists, we still need you b/c you need to fix what we messed up).

 What have we become?  

We have become resilient, strong, determined, compassionate, caring, generous, considerate, understanding human beings.

 Here’s to a better year, better life, better world.

Will the country miraculously be better over night? No.  Will opposing sides spontaneously agree? No. Will the plague disappear in a day? No. Will employment be at an all-time high right away? No. Will the economy improve at the snap of a finger? No.

Do we have 4 years of hope? Yes.

Walk around the capitol building strapped. No resistance.  Walk into the “guarded” capitol building uninvited. No resistance. Cops just stand back and let you in. No resistance. Break windows and doors. No resistance.  Storm the senate floor, make yourself at home in the senate offices and leave notes on desks.  No resistance.  Completely disrupt Congress. No resistance.  

People are saying that while the world “is falling apart” (my words, not theirs) we should be reflecting, renewing and taking stock in our lives. Personally, I don’t need thousands of people dying and millions of others being sick to reflect on my life.  I call bullshit.  Anybody else?

Black male; black female; minding his own; minding her own; walking down the street; driving (while black); in their own home; with their children; with their significant other; family gathering; musician; artist; grandparent; parent; child; aunt; uncle; cousin; sister; brother; GONE; WTH.

Poise, grace, depth, humility, strength, dedication (to ones’ craft), quietness, education, caring, sense of responsibility, honesty.

Loved, revered, honored, admired, role model.

Suffering in private, suffering in silence, family, loved ones, peace.

Quiet death.

We will miss you.

Walking into a building without a care; Going to work without a thought other than the emails waiting for you; Meeting friends for brunch; Going to the movies; Not giving a person on the sidewalk side eye; Going to your favorite store and just browsing and sampling; Going to the salon and being pampered; Traveling; Making plans; Being close; Being free.

I binged watched #Marlon on NBC.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but I was pleasantly surprised.  

You know that show that makes you laugh and then you have to stop laughing so you can catch the serious part that happens to also be funny.  That show where the father is one of the kids but becomes an adult when the need arises.  That show where the best friends make the exes stop and go, hhhmmmm. Yep, it’s that show.

You know Marlon Wayans as a constant jokester, well he is that, but he has that funny/serious side on the show also.  The show is about a divorced couple that apparently have the “perfect” divorce. Essence Atkins plays his ex-wife and they have two kids.  He is very involved in his children’s lives and for that matter in his ex-wife’s life as well. But it seems to work for all of them.  They are a “happy” family that have the funny moments, which involve Marlon’s crazy antics, but they take care of the serious family matters when they come up.  Marlon is a big kid and his ex-wife has to balance him out, but their relationship is one of the best divorced relationships you will probably ever see.

Marlon has a best friend that doesn’t have a job so he mooches off of Marlon and lives rent free and sleeps on his sofa.  Ashley has a best friend, you know, that single lady who is a diva but is your ride or die. Both characters add that extra something that ties it all together.

I don’t know if the show got picked up for a second season but I certainly hope so.  I enjoyed watching it and will miss it if it doesn’t come back.  Yep, it’s that show.