Rose’s Diary

Save my parents the inconvenience of having to live with me

Since im so hard to deal with and so lazy and I have nothing going for me

I hope someone slams into my car on the way home from confession and kills me

She knows I’m on the spectrum

She treats me like I’m an idiot

She gives me no grace for my sensory issues / emotional issues

I try not to show them but when I get stressed they do

She got onto me for rocking back and forth

She gets mad and treats me like I’m dumb when I ask clarifying questions

But when gets mad when I miss stuff because I did not ask the clarifying questions

Even the other students have noticed

Okah cool.

I want to have sex like really bad

God: oh okay yeah *blesses me anyways*

I go home and my grandma has, unsolicited, bought me a set of the new markers I really wanted

AND

My mom, unsolicited, bought me alanis!

God takes care of his daughters!!!

Especially someone you love and care about

You KNOW that behavior hurts them and you’re just gonna do it? What the hell?

Even though you “feel so bad about it?”

I’m so mad.

For some reason he literally will drop off of the face of the earth for up to 10 hours. Unannounced. And he never used to do that, he’d text me literally all day every day.

Plus, he refuses to treat me as anything less than a homegirl! He was sweeter to me when we were best friends, but every attempt I make to sound even a little bit romantically interested in him, he completely refuses. Like I told him “good night handsome Mexican” (he calls himself a Mexican as a joke all the time) and he just REFUSED to say anything nice back. I don’t understand!

I want to be able to say “yeah I’ve been really horny this week” or “I feel like a pervert sometimes” and not be side eyed

I want to be able to say “I’m struggling with being super jealous against him/her” and not be side eyed

Because these are REAL SINS that everyone faces every day.

I sit up and think about my future kids and the best way to raise them all the time

I watch a bunch of mommy content online

I feel like I’m just waiting for my younger years to fly by so I can just hurry up and be a mom 😭😭