Ranting About Endos

You guys can call me J.

This blog is for me and anyone else who wishes to be able to rant about and/or discuss “endogenic” systems (and endo adjacent systems).

Some rules:

Correct me if I say anything wrong. I don’t want to accidentally spread misinformation.

If you want to send screenshots, censor the username.

If you interact with me and are found to witch-hunt or harass endos, you will be blocked.

Don’t send me gore or anything NSFW etc.

DNI

- (Pro) Endos

- TRASH

one time, i saw an "ed-sheeran genic" flag?? fucking insane??? Hell you mean you were formed somewhat by ed fucking sheeran

I’m gonna start by saying that what I’m saying will be biased from the anti-endo perspective as I am anti-endo and spent minimal time in endo spaces. I’ll also be going into depth and explaining it as if someone is new even to the idea of systems.

First off, everyone’s definition of a “safe space” is different.

Secondly, a safe space for people with CDDs isn’t safe if it has endos in. A lot of endos promote behaviours that will harm people with CDDs, such as encouraging more alters to form or not wanting system accountability.

but i realized the other day that endos are basically flat earthers, so the next time you see an endo:

ask them if the earth is flat.

if they say no, ask why.

if they base that why off of scientific proof, ask them why they cant ignore science for the earth being flat, but can ignore science of endos not being a thing.

blue shrug emoji

Dude i just saw some endo straight up misgender a big anti endo blog multiple times out of spite and literally let all of their anger out on the system that runs the blog because the anon couldn't control themselves and lashes out at the first askbox they found holy fucking shit this is why we will never feel safe around endos like the person was straight up purposefully transphobic against the system that runs the blog and disrespectful as hell

What the hell. I'm sorry but someone disagreeing with you on something never ever gives you an excuse to misgender someone.

Going into someone's ask box like that is literally harassment, most of the time I'm cautious using that term because it has been slightly watered down by people to mean "this person is disagreeing with me"< but this is definitely one of the cases where it is harassment.

WHAT EVEN IS THAT??? TRAUMAENDO??? If it means "I'm an endosystem with trauma!!" that's. So ridiculous (I don't care enough to look up the term)

Traumaendo, as defined by pluralpedia is a mixed-origin system with both traumagenic and endogenic origins.

Basically, they're a traumagenic system but not all of their alters formed due to obvious trauma, maybe some sort of work/academic stress, interpersonal tension etc.

Sorry but if you can’t handle that your resources aren’t ethical, unbiased or scientifically sound and your first reaction is to call someone an ableist slur or call them a sexual predator you should consult a therapist as to why the fuck you think that’s an appropriate reaction.

—D.Va from Dark Garden

Pro-endos often see us as fdc/sc members who just want to fakeclaim people for no reason and gatekeep an "identity".

Fdc/sc members see us as people who are faking the disorder but want to be seen as "one of the good guys".

And honestly, it's so freaking confusing because no, I don't want to fakeclaim people for no reason or gatekeep an "identity". And no I'm not faking the disorder nor wanna be seen as "one of the good guys".

I'm just someone living with a disorder who has experiences that one side says "FAKE!" at but also that the other side wants to claim as their own despite there being no reliable research saying that you can have alters outside of CDDs.

What the hell... not only is a non medical professional/researcher never a good source, but sophieinwonderland is just an entirely different choice. She is literally known to be extremely problematic and harass people.

Oh, and signing off as the host of an actual system. I go between saying we have OSDD1B and DID because the latter is just more understood as a label than the first in my experience.

Literally, when you break it down, alters are basically extreme dissociation mixed with compartmentalisation. You cannot have alters without dissociation.

BAH blogs are bad in the endo sense, however I can see them as being useful for helping fragments in CDD systems gain some sense of identity if that's what's required for them to be able to heal or function better. I do think that the BAH blogs as a whole do make it so obvious that all endos think about when they think of "systems" is alters. A system is someone with a CDD, therefore dissociation is needed for someone to be a system.

Not to mention BAH blogs are literally encouraging people to make more alters, which is such a bad thing because if it is actually people making more alters, then that means more dissociative barriers, more amnesia, and therefore the opposite of healing. Like, I'm praying that these BAH blogs are just resulting in people pretending to have more alters instead of actually creating more, then at least they're not making the dissociation worse.

In what sense is that even correct? Because from what I've seen, some of their "origins" are the opposite of building and maintaining a healthy, functioning system...

For example. Addgenic. Addgenic refers to a system that wants to become the largest system they can. How the hell is that "healthy". If we go by the TOSD (which is the current theory for how CDDs form, therefore can be applied to if we were to take endos' knowledge and use it), then becoming the largest system that is possible simply would not be healthy. It would involve causing yourself enough stress or trauma to be able to split over and over and over again, which means increasing dissociative barriers. Which is the opposite of healing.

like. are we forgetting it was invented by somebody who straight up DOESNT believe in DID..?

siigh. I've got a suggestion.

@isuggestbeingantiendo

I'm honestly not sure what you mean here heh-

While I have spent about a year and a bit now in system spaces, I haven't really researched much to do with endogenic systems and the origin of that term due to mainly focussing on research to do with how to heal with the disorder and stuff like that.

I was in a medical class and I was telling my partner system at the time about how syndromes, diseases, and disorders differ.

I was talking about how disorders have to cause distress to the person with it and/or others. And they asked if that means DID has to cause distress because it’s a disorder. I said yeah. And they got so pissed and went on a rant about how ableist it is that having DID means you have to experience distress.

This isn’t some fun thing where you get fun friends in your head. DID is distressing. I’ve had a migraine for 8 days now because the switching brought on by a trauma response. I am so done with this disorder being minimized by endos and being something to be desired.

It's not ableist to state that DID has to cause some level of distress or at least dysfunctioning. It is literally a fact. If someone with DID, or any other disorder for that matter, does not experience some level of distress or dysfunctioning due to the symptoms, they do not have the disorder. It is quite literally a diagnostic requirement in both the DSM and the ICD.

People can go into remission from disorders and therefore no longer meet the dysfunctioning requirement of it, but from what I know about DID that doesn't mean you no longer have it as it is a chronic condition, it'd just be labelled as well-managed. That's the only case where you can have DID and not be in distress or dysfunctional. However, that does also mean the person with DID who is in remission or has healed was once in distress or dysfunctional due to it before they were able to get therapy for it.

And yeah, it's not a "fun thing where you get fun friends in your head", it's a trauma based dissociative disorder that causes you to fail to gain a stable sense of self, which results in the alters. It can be fun at times, eg "omg this alter said smth funny", but that doesn't mean it is "fun friends in your head". It is not something that should be desired by anyone.

It's scary and frustrating to try and think back to whatever happened, say last week, and not being able to remember it, or forgetting when appointments are, feeling like you are constantly living in a non-real life, or a body that isn't yours. It's no fun living like that at all.

However. I thought the whole thing with endogenic systems is that they “aren’t disordered”. Something cannot disable you if it doesn’t disorder you. Therefore endogenic systems aren’t disabled and fakeclaiming them isn’t ableist. The definition of ableism is literally “discrimination, prejudice, or social stereotypes against people with disabilities”. If it isn’t a disability someone cannot be ableist towards you having it.

I’m not saying endogenic systems can’t have another disability that means they have experienced ableism, that is entirely possible. But even in that instant it isn’t the fact that they are an “endogenic system” that meant they were discriminated against. It’s the fact that they had that other disability.

This is why I don’t like endos. I don’t even care if your experiences are legit or not, stop encouraging traumatized people to ignore their trauma. Stop discouraging healing and trauma therapy.

Literally! Denying and repressing trauma is not going to help anyone to heal. It's the processing of trauma, and then the reduction (or removal) of dissociative barriers that leads to healing within CDDs from what I've read. You can't just repress it, it will only lead to a longer and delayed healing process.

This is why, even if they do turn out to be a validated phenomenon, endos should not come into CDD spaces and should have their own spaces that are separate. If they do exist in the way they claim, then their experiences are inherently different to those of CDD systems, and therefore they should not be talking over CDD systems, especially when it comes to how to process trauma.