?

I hope you’re all right

I miss my sunshine, my rose coloured boy who made me laugh

You meant the world to me and now I mean nothing but pain to you, and that pains me too

Deep breath in, deep breath out

Maybe I am rude and insensitive, so what

What are you gonna do about it

Can’t make me play the game, instead I’ll just throw the board and the pieces will go everywhere and some will get lost and you’ll say to me why did you do that, why didn’t you just walk away, no one said you had to play the game.

And they’d be right of course. Because wasn’t I the one who asked you to play the game in the first place? Didn’t I start all of this?

I’m playing with fire and getting both of us burnt in the process, when you were already sitting in the shell of the last fire we set

And I just keep taking your energy and crushing your spirit. Instead of playing the game like I asked you to do in the first place

I miss the connection we used to have, I miss being able to care about you when you’d actually let me

And I miss your house and your family, weird as that seems sometimes

I miss telling you about my day

I don’t feel as if I made a mistake and I wouldn’t make a different decision

I’m so sorry for this, for the pain I’ve inflicted and will continue to inflict

I don’t know how to fix it, I don’t know what I’m doing