I DIGRESS

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

Can someone please fact check this??? Would they actually have to cancel the game??

Oh my GODD THE POLAR BEAR GOT SOME SNOW HE MUST FEEL SO REFRESHED

relatable seals at the end there

“Hey Joe! Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe look!!! It’s snow!”

I need more of this shit!

Those happy elephant sounds cleared my skin and watered my crops.

The polar bear “hell nahhhh. This ain’t that fake shit ! THIS AINT THAT FAKE SHIT. THIS THAT REAL SHIT!!!”

the novelty of having a pet will never wear off on me i’ve had animals my entire life for 23 entire years and i still sometimes stop and go holy fuck there is just a little guy in my house

why my hand shaky

your skeleton is ready to hatch

this is so fucking ominous thank you

bUT SEX ED IN SCHOOL WILL CORRUPT THE CHILDREN IT’S OKAY THEIR PARENTS WILL TELL THEM

Im the parent putting doctor pepper in my kids bottle

fun fact: once in biology my teacher told us that “if you’re ever crying wipe the tears all over your face and they’ll help clear up your skin” then he explained that because tears are designed to clear dust and dirt from your eyes and will do the same for your skin and clear up acne and i remember thinking “excellent, fandom will make me beautiful”

i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory

I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me