Noah

Im sooo bored

He called me a twink guys :'(

I looooove calling with him so much. Just spending time together even if we're not rlly talking abt anything is so amazing <333

Its not raining but today is giving rain vibes yk

I hate overthinking. Having to replay every chat, every facetime over and over in my head thinking about if I might have done something wrong. I just really like him and I can't lose him now. I joke about it a lot, but I'm actually so fucking scared that he will just stop liking me and that I will lose my safe space, my friend and the only boy who I ever felt comfortable enough to even consider dating.

I want to kiss him. But thats not what hurts. What hurts is how much I want to hold him, have him close to me. I want to feel his body heat and make him feel safe and protected. I suck with words and I hate that that is the only thing I can give him now. I want to hold him tightly so that he *knows* how much I care about him, so that he won't ever doubt my feelings for him.

I like every part of him. Not just his looks, not just his sweet words. I like *every* single part of him. And I hope that he will never feel the need to hide a part of himself from me. Because I already know I will like it, even when he doesn't think I will

The thoughts are evil today. I miss him so much

I miss him. The one who I can talk to about everything, the one who doesn't judge me for what I say. The one for who I don't have to always pretend like I'm okay. The one who I'm allowed to he myself around, whether I'm at my best or worst.