Help. I'm Stuck in a World Of Fiction

You escaped the Maze...

You survived the Scorch...

Now, here you were, again, with WICKED. Weren't they ever going to leave you alone? Why couldn't they just give up? You, and the others as well, were tired from the things that those people threw at you. What would be next, a fire breathing dragon?

"Now," Ratman's voice boomed in the smallish room. "Everyone take a seat. Before we remove the Swipe, we got to cover a few things."

Everyone was quiet, as if they were holding their breath. You were one of them.

"Yes, that's right. You're about to get your memories back. Every last one of them."

Immediately, the whole room started to buzz. Questions filled the air,

"What?"

"We're gonna get our memories?"

"That shank's lying!"

And many more. Your mouth hung open in surprise and disbelief. You turned to look at Newt. Catching his gaze, you reached your hand to his and gripped his hand. He intertwined your fingers with his and pulled you closer to him. Thomas and Minho flanked the both of you on each side.

"Silence!" Ratman shouted and the room got quieter, still a few whispers were heard. He awkwardly cleared his throat. He went on to say how the trials as you knew them were over and that once you had your memories back, you'd believe him. He talked about the Flare and how you were prepared for it and the trials.

By the time he was done, you could actually feel t

he anger radiating off of Minho's body, though he was standing next to Newt.

"I outta come up there and break your shuck nose!"

"Woah, hey Minho. I know that he, and WICKED, have played us a million times over. But, I can't help but feel that he's telling the truth," you spoke gently and quietly, leaning over to look at him.

"No, (Y/N)! I'm tired of him playing us, acting like everything is all peachy. Acting like half of our friends didn't just die," his voice loud, compared to yours.

"Just, please, hear him out?"

Minho glared at you, hard. If looks could kill, you would a puddle on the floor. In all honesty, it kind of scared you. As if he could read your mind, his eyes softened a bit before he simply huffed and crossed his arms.

But, he wasn't the only one who was angry and hurt. Everyone questioned Ratman and his motives, even Frypan.  The whole room argued with the other, until Ratman had had enough.

"I said, silence!" he waited until the room quieted down before speaking again. "Now, no one here is questioning your distrust. You've been pushed to your limits, physically and mentally, watched people die... you experienced terror in its true form. But, I promise you, when this is all said and done-"

Frypan interrupted once more, "what if we don't want our memories back?"

Ratman looked exasperated. You didn't really blame him, what with the Gladers making it very difficult to get his point across. But, you didn't blame them either, considering what you've all been through.

"Well," he sighed, "that is certainly your choice. You can stand by and watch the others. But, do you really want to spend the rest of your lives with no memories of your parents? Your family and friends? Your significant others?" he looked directly into your eyes at that moment, and his gaze stayed there.

You shifted under his gaze. Why was he even staring at you?

"Do you really want to lose the chance to hold on to at least a few good memories before all of this started? If you do, then fine by me. But, know this... You will more than likely never have this chance again," and with that, Ratman broke the eye contact, opened the door, and left.

The room soon filled with voices once again. Thomas, who was beside you, turned to you, Newt, and Minho. He spoke quietly, so only the three of you could hear him.

"There is no way we do this. No way."

"Amen. Why would we even want to remember. Look what it did to Ben and Alby." Minho pitched in, agreeing with your older brother.

You shifted, uneasy. You didn't want to tell them what you were really thinking.

"You've been awful quiet, she-bean. Penny for your thoughts?"

"Well, I mean..." you trailed off, shuffling your feet slightly. The three boys stayed silent, waiting for you to finish, or more importantly, waiting for you to agree with them. "I kind of... want..."

"Spit it out, shank."

"I want my memories," you all but shouted. You felt Newt's hand, still locked with yours, grip slightly tighter.

Thomas, Newt, and Minho all looked at you as if you had just said "WICKED is good."

"Come on, guys. Don't look at me like that," you muttered, avoiding all of their gazes.

"What do you mean?" Thomas asked, breathless.

"What do you think she means, idiot? She is obviously going to betray her friends and saunter off with WICKED into the shuck sunset," Minho growled, fists clenching.

You looked at him in disbelief. "How could you even-"

"Because! Look at what they've done to us. They threw flesh eating machines at us, dropped us onto the sun, killed our friends! They have put us through hell and back again and again! And what are you going to do? You're going to walk through that door and you're going to get your memories back. Memories of you assisting them in the plan to do all of this!"

"Minho, calm down," Newt said, looking at him sternly. "I'm sure she just wants to remember her family. Right?" he turned to you in an almost pleading way. Pleading for you to agree and not confirm everyone's suspicions.

In the Maze, when everyone found out that Thomas helped in all of it, they became afraid of him. No one said it, but you knew they were. And since you were Thomas's sister, they automatically figured that you were in on it too. Maybe you were, who knew, but it still hurt when one of your best friends called you out on it.

"Of course! Minho, even if I was on their side at one point in time, I can swear to you... I only want to remember the good things. Please, believe me."

"The good things? Like what, sending all of your friends to die in the Maze?"

"Minho, seriously. Back off, man," your brother kind of stood in front of you a little. His protectiveness was showing, so was Newt's.

"Minho, how could you..." you paused, sniffling. Tears were beginning to prick the corners of your eyes, "how could you even think that? Is that what you really think of me? That I was playing all of you just so I could get you all killed?"

He stayed silent, glaring at the ground. You took his silence as your answer. You took in a shaky breath, straightening you back and lifting your head. You wiped the tears off of your face but a few more stray ones managed to escape.

"Fine. I'm sorry that you think that I did all of this. But, if it's what you really believe... then I'm just going to get out of your hair. I'm sorry," and with that, you turned back towards the front of the room where Ratman had entered once again.

After Ratman had talked some more about the procedure, he prompted those who were going to go through with it to follow him.

You took a slight step, unsure. Did you really want this? Thomas, Newt, and Minho were right about Ben and Alby. Going through the Changing, getting their memories back... They were never the same after that.

No. You wanted to do it. You needed to.

You took a complete step forward. You tried to take another but an arm slightly held you in your place.

"Are you sure? Is this what you really want?"

"Yes, Newt. I wasn't lying before. I want to remember my family, my friends. I want my good memories. I'm sorry if you think that I'm betraying you, but I have to do this."

Newt looked straight into your (E/C) eyes. His held a soft expression and he put a hand on your cheek, stroking it softly. He sighed, "I know. I understand. I will be waiting for you on the other side of that door, okay?"

You nodded, smiling up at him. You leaned in to give a kiss on the lips, letting it linger for a few seconds.

"I love you."

He grinned, kissing your cheek, "I love you, too."

ALEX STANDALL:

I Can’t Help Who I Love

ZACH DEMPSEY:

PETER PAN:

In My Mind

Part 1