— sugar & spice

He didn’t like this pattern that he’d fallen into. It felt too much like a cry for help for him to ever be entirely comfortable in it. Damian had worked an overnight, his third this week, dragged his ass home, eaten dinner (or breakfast?), and fallen asleep watching Rogue One for the fifth time since he’d shelled out for Disney Plus. And with the afternoon sun creeping though his blinds, Damian was only starting to wake up.

Everything seemed to be happening too much and too often, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something even bigger was barreling towards him. Still, he put on his doctor face and went to work every day, more than happy to ignore the looming anxiety of more casualties to come their way. His feet fell hard on the floor, his back stiff from the uncomfortable position he’d managed to twist himself into. He should go for a run or swing by the gym, he told himself, but the drowsy fog that held him had other plans. Dragging himself into the kitchen, Damian settled on coffee instead.

He shoved the basket into the machine and hit the on button just as he heard a knock on the door and Ramina’s very soft voice creep through the cracks. He couldn’t tell immediately, but something seemed off as he padded through the dining room and to the front door. It was weird that she hadn’t called first, right? But, as always, he couldn’t help but smile when he saw her. “Might as well get you a key,” he laughed as he swung the door open. He couldn’t imagine himself possibly looking more disheveled than he did now, with is messed up hair and threadbare white t-shirt. But he tried to ignore that for now.

“You okay?”

Ramina had been far too anxious to call, not entirely trusting that if he said she couldn’t come over at the moment— she wouldn’t just blurt out the news then and there over the phone. She couldn’t help but feel that would only be asking for trouble when it came to what she was needing to do. Already she’d had a rock hard pit in her stomach that told her to prepare for the worst. It wasn’t that she doubted Damian so much as that...life and her experiences had told her that this may not end well. How many times had she been disposed of  by people now? And that was when it had just been her, no baby involved. 

Of course, perhaps the baby would actually prompt Damian to keep her around, though she didn’t know if that would come with a side of resentment. What if he thought she was trying to trap him with this? It wasn’t all that long ago she’d been doing her best to get her hands on a club member, trying to get that ring and the title so she’d know she was taken care of. And before that it had been men very much like Damian that she’d been preying on. Perhaps the worst thing of this all was that the prospect of losing Damian was making her realize just how fond of him she’d grown, not to mention attached. 

The talk of a key gave her a bit of an internal wince, tightening her lips as her mind told her to steel herself for that sentence to be taken away in the next breath after she told him the news. Getting ready to be left behind once more. “I was just going to ask you the same thing,” she said as she looked over him, as Ramina could see the tiredness practically spilling off him. A hand went to raise itself in a wish to comfort him, give his shoulder a little squeeze, but she stopped it before it landed— thinking better or the motion when she knew it might all be ending in the next few moments. “There’s something I have to tell you.” God it all sounded so dire, didn’t it? Was there any way to tell him this without being dramatic? “No one’s hurt, so don’t worry about that.” At least...not yet. She took the moment to pause and look at him once more, trying to commit his face to memory as it looked now in case he might never look at her this way again. 

“Oh you know, Doris from down the road; likes to think because she was alive when the model T was invented that she knows everything about cars,” Chuckling just slightly, he glanced at Ramina. “What are you suggestin’ there, Ram?” Already amused, and still on a high from eliminating his family’s worst enemy, Jeremiah was ready to hear any idea Ramina may have been joking about. Or maybe she was serious. “Though I’m sure fuckin’ with it’ll just send Doris right back to me with a whole host of complaints,” Maybe this was a bad time to bring it up, because Ramina’s immediate reaction seemed to be defensive. Was she still scared? Was there someone else that she was worried about. “Hey…” Scooting a little closer, Jeremiah put a hand ontop of hers. 

“Listen to me okay? You will always have my protection. I’m a phone call away and I’ve got no qualms about setting up a stake out if that’ll make you feel safe.” With his free hand he tilted her chin up just slightly so they were looking at each other. “This isn’t about what I want. It’s about what you want. You want to stay with me? Rad. That just means I’m gunna have to get better at cookin’.” Cracking another smile, Jeremiah continued. “But if you want to stop denyin’ that you got a thing for Damian; then I support it.” Nudging her shoulder with his own, Jeremiah hummed in fake thought. “just means that I get to give him another speech…”

“Doris?” Ramina repeated with some amusement. “I’m surprised her name wasn’t Karen or something equally as ‘I’d like to speak with you manager,’ “ she finished with a little laugh. “I’m just saying,” she suggested with a bit of a smirk. “If she’s so determined to have something wrong with her car. You could make something wrong with her car. Suddenly you found the problem and maybe she’ll stop yelling about how there has to be something wrong. And then you still get the money too when you fix it.” Ramina looked all too please with the idea of it, and the concept of possibly winning over someone as annoying as Doris. 

But as Jer moved closer and spoke his piece, a little frown of concentration came over Ramina. Did she want to continue to be a freeloader on a friend? She used to have absolutely no qualms with using people for their money, but this was different. She hadn’t cared about those people, and Jer had done so much for her. Nevertheless, a little shake of her head was paired with an a gentle eye roll as Jer once again mentioned Damian. “We’re not doing that.” They’d nearly both pretty much agreed not to be doing feelings. Feelings were hurtful. “But...you sure you’ll be alright here all by yourself?” Would Jer get lonely? “Yeah, don’t think you’re getting away with cornering him at the Fall Festival,” she teased.

She lets out a snort of laughter, head shaking at Ramina’s comment. “We’d be rich,” she plays along with a shrug of her shoulders. “Might piss my husband off a little, though, but then I guess I could buy his compliance with a Kitchen Aid mixer or something.” Actually, now she kind of wishes she hadn’t downed those shots so fast and wasn’t already feeling kind of foggy because that’s not a bad idea for Christmas. “S’only right if you puke with me. Where’s your sense of sisterhood?” A noise of agreement sounds in the back of her throat, shoulders shrugging and her head shaking just a little. “It really is a shitty title to have. Gotta wear a sash and everything.”

“Aren’t you already basically rich back with Andy now?” she joked lightly. “That was a genius move on your part.” As if Rowan wasn’t only just madly in love with the man. “Ya or get him one of those like— little plastic kitchenettes. The ones kids play in?” she continued to joke, put into good spirits by Rowan. A little smile came onto Ramina’s lips, already amused that Rowan seemed to be feeling the effects of the alcohol. Once the bartender came over, she got a few more shots and lined them up on the bar top. “I suppose...if it’s for sisterhood.” She didn’t generally enjoy throwing up while drunk, but she’d do it to have some fun with one of her best friends. “Don’t think I wouldn’t custom order a sash, though. We could have a- a sort of beauty pageant for it.”

Ramina had sat for what seemed like hours in that run down bathroom in the grocery store, staring at the small pile of positive tests she’d racked up. A baby? How could this have happened? She was certain she’d been careful. Fuck. Anxiety had set in quickly, every thought under the sun running through her mind. Just like her mother, wasn’t she? Getting knocked up with the baby of a man who she was explicitly not in a romantic relationship with. At least Damian was still here, though. He wasn’t long gone like her father, a man who wouldn’t even know he’d fathered a child. But would he continue to be here? Once she told him would he be mad? Would he think she was trying to trap him or something of that sort? 

But despite all the negative thoughts in her mind, there was the smallest kernel of excitement in her core. A baby. Someone that would be family. All she’d ever had was her mother, and that had been...not the most conventional of relationships. But now— there was someone that was her’s. And perhaps someone she belonged to as well. She wanted it. The realization had startled her, and also scared her a little, and she also knew that it meant she had to tell Damian what had occurred. So she’d sent him as casual a text as she could, asking if she could come over ASAP. Her nerves wouldn’t let her hold in the news any longer.

As she knocked on the door, her voice began calm, calling his name and asking if he was home. But there was the smallest bit of urgency in it, her worry mounting the longer she went without telling him about the baby, about the life growing inside her. “Damian, are you there?” There was the errant thought that she’d break down the door if she had to, so worked up was she.

Jeremiah had a feeling that Ramina would be relieved that Kane was now no longer a threat; and that feeling was proven correct when she saw the grin on her face. Shifting a little bit to be in a better position, Jer shook his head. “Nah, everything’s fine. Just had to battle some of the people who think they know my job better than I do.” Shrugging just slightly he stretched his arms over his head. “Can’t please everyone ya know? Especially the ones who insist there’s something wrong with their car when there is literally nothing to fix.” Cracking a grin at her, Jer took in the fact that she looked brighter than she has been. It was nice to see.

Reaching out to pat her knee softly, the middle Thane son nodded. Hearing her so relieved about the freedom she got just by feeling a little bit safer, put his concerns at ease. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about - the watching your back thing, I mean.” Keeping his hand on her knee for just a second longer he took a second to try and at least figure out how to word this. “I know this is a weird circumstance. And I just wanted to make sure you know, especially with Kane taken care of. If you wanna go back to how things were. And explore whatever you’ve got goin’ on with the hot doctor,” his eyebrow waggled suggestively at the woman beside him as he nudged her in the side. “I’ll still watch your back no matter what.”

A little frown of concern took over her lips as her brow creased in curiosity, and she looked a little closer at Jer. “Who’s thinking they can battle you an get away with it?” If there was one thing Jer taking her in had earned, it was Ramina’s undying loyalty. She’s always be indebted to him, and most likely always ready to help with anything he might need. But she calmed a little as it became apparent that it was more a petty argument with a customer rather than anything serious. “Maybe you could make something wrong with their car,” she only half-joked.

But then her confusion was back as he brought up the subject of watching her back, and her shoulders tensed a little. Had he heard of someone else possibly wanting to come after her? Suddenly she was entirely attentive, hanging onto his words as he began to speak once more as she waited to hear what he had to say. “Oh” was the first thing out of her mouth, and the next was a denial. “I mean— Damian and I— we’re just- well we get along well.” She did her best to deny any possible feelings there. “But...that’s very kind of you, Jer.” Now she was set to thinking, though. Perhaps it was time for her to go back to just being...Ramina. But was she ready to give up a link to the gangs? It had been such a large part of her life for so long now. But also...she didn’t want to mooch off of Jer forever. “Is that what you want?” she asked, uncertain what it was that would suit him best.

At this point in time — what else can she do? Everything is out of her hands. She’s paid the lawyers, she’s made sure Andy’s leg isn’t going to rot off and now, as much as she hates it, all she can do is wait. Wait for Andy to stop limping every night when he comes home, wait for the lawyers to call with their plan of action. Wait and stew in her worry and let her mind come up with a million and one possible outcomes, each one less appealing than the last — and so getting away from that, even just for a few hours, is something Rowan jumps at. She lets out a snort of laughter at Ramina’s praises, eyes rolling though the smile on her face stays put. “We’re getting dangerous close to you bein’ my pimp territory,” she jokes with a smirk and an arch of her eyebrow. Her look turns apprehensive at Ramina’s single mixed drink, head tilting to the side just slightly. “If you make me black out by myself you’ll be like… officially the worst friend of all time.” 

Ramina laughed in her amusement before giving a little shrug. “I could be your pimp if you wanted. I’m sure we’d make great money together. We could put up flyers,” she joked, chuckling through her words. “But if you get black out how would you even remember if I had as well?” she teased before continuing on with her words. “My stomach’s just a little upset. But if you want me to puke my guts out next to you on the floor of these bathrooms...” Ramina made eye contact with the bartender, as if she was planning on ordering another drink. “I’m not ready quite yet to accept the title of officially worst friend.”

date   /   thursday midday, thanksgiving, november 27th setting   /   the local bargain mart party involved   /   ramina khatri

@raminakhatri​​

It was weird. After the job with his brothers, Jeremiah was expecting a shift in everything. They eliminated the enemy. So why does the air still smell the same? Why does his alarm still sound at 6 AM every morning. Something should be different - right? It felt like something as momentous as eliminating your enemy and leaving his head on a stake where everyone could see would shift the universe. But no. The sun rose the same. 

Which meant Jeremiah was stumbling into his home at 6 PM with whatever complaint the elderly woman from down the road had over the phone that day like he did every day. Exhausted, Jer collapsed onto the couch with a loud groan, thankful for the cloud of cushions holding him up instead of his feet. When he heard movement behind the couch he tilted his head towards the sound. “Hey Ram,” He murmured, rubbing a hand down his face before his eyes blinked right back open. Suddenly he was sitting up again, watching the woman move around the room. Seeing Ramina dislodged the thought that was in the back of his mind the entire day. But he wasn’t sure how to approach the topic weighing on his mind. So he decided the first step was to see what she knew already. “Did you avoid the madness out there today?” 

The day that Kane’s head had been staked into the ground had been a glorious one for Ramina. She swore she could feel the literal weight being lifted off her shoulders as the news had broken. The man she was most worried about was gone— dead as a doornail and never coming back. It was freeing, to say the least. 

The death had put her in a spectacular mood for the last couple of days, so she was ready with a grin for Jer as soon as he walked through the doorway. “Hey, Jer!” she greeted brightly, though he smile dimmed a bit as she read his expression and movements, watching the hand try to wipe the exhaustion from his face. “Is everything alright?” she asked, sitting up a bit straighter. Then she was fielding the question he’d posed with a little shrug. “Well enough. I’m just glad I can walk the streets as a free woman again,” she finished with a bit of a chuckle. “Or rather- without having to look over my shoulder as much.” 

“I wouldn’t say upset,” he shrugged, eyes cut down towards the woman against his chest. “He did threaten to fuck me up in ways that no doctor would ever be able to repair, though. So, maybe feeling more protective than upset. Which is…” He rolled his eyes around, as if searching for the right word to assign to Jeremiah’s little pep talk. “I guess sweet. Terrifying, but sweet.” 

There was something in the way that Ramina teased him that always made him smile. He didn’t need to be reminded that everyday he was inching closer to a mailbox full of AARP newsleters, but somehow she managed to make it almost charming. “Way to kick a man when he’s down,” he laughed. “If you already forgot the fun we had last weekend then I might as well pack my shit up and check into the nursing home now.”

Ramina frowned in disapproval at the words that were coming from Damian’s mouth, disliking the concept of someone threatening him— even though she was grateful Jer obviously cared. “I go to him for protection, and suddenly he thinks the nerdy doctor who wished on a star for a GI Joe is the devil incarnate,” she joked a little. But she would most likely tell Jer to go easy on Damian. After all, he seemed to be as good as guys could come. 

Ramina bit down on her lip a bit as he laughed, as if she was trying to stifle her own responding smile that was threatening to break loose because he just looked so darn cute when he was happy. “You’re standing, aren’t you? You’ve still got your life alert though, right? Just in case that changes?” Again her words were light as she snuggled in a little closer into his robe, somewhat regretting the fact that she’d chosen a costume that was rather chilly for the evening. “Does this mean I get to play the nurse this time? I could get a cute little outfit to wear and everything,” she teased. “Or is that too close to home?”

Going out drinking while Andy’s still limping around their house while recovering from his gun shot wound and Lettie sits in a jail cell waiting on her trial is probably…. not a good idea. Not to mention ATF is still sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong and for that reason alone she should be keeping her wits about her. But, fuck, she’s tired and she just needs one night to not have to worry about who is going to be arrested next, or if someone’s going to break into her house and strangle her in the middle of the night and just be normal. Of course, Ramina is the best person to do just that with and she doesn’t hesitate when her friend slides to shots her way, downing the one quickly while Ramina talks. A snort of laughter leaves her lips, eyes rolling as she puts the empty glass down. “I was gonna do it for free. You’re the one who had us turnin’ a profit,” she reminds her, picking up the other glass and tilting it at her friend. “Where’s yours? If you think you’re makin’ me drink alone tonight you’ve got another thing coming.”

Ramina knew that going out to drink may not be the most...suitable action to do when one’s husband had been injured and was under scrutiny, and your pseudo-daughter was being accused of murder— but what other option was there? And if Ramina kept herself sober enough to make sure Rowan and Patsy didn’t get into too much trouble, there was no harm done. Right? She grinned in approval as Rowan downed the first shot before saying, “Amazing. Inspirational. Breathtaking.” But then she was shaking her head at Rowan’s words, a bit of a laugh falling from her lips. “No, no— a talent like that shouldn’t be given for free. You deserve to be appreciated...through money,” she joked. Ramina’s own drink arrived, though it was only a single glass as opposed to Rowan’s shots. “She’s right here all ready for me. As if I’d ever let you drink alone. 

“It looks really good on you. Your–ah–Jeremiah busted me staring at you in the beer line,” he admitted, even still having a hard time taking his eyes off her. The conversation with Jeremiah Thane had been as uncomfortable as it was illuminating. And it was absolutely the last thing Damian wanted on his mind when his eyes traveled the length of Ramina’s sequined red dress.

And his brother was a close contender last place, but the idea of Seth as a grumpy lawn decoration was something they could both laugh at. “I’ve never seen him give candy out on Halloween, but I definitely imagine him sitting in a lawn chair glaring at kids who dare to approach him. Bravest kids in the world, honestly.”

Ramina trailed in after him when he moved his hands away. Her arms snaked around him underneath the thick brown robe. Keeping a respectful, public-appropriate distance from Ramina was absolutely impossible because Damian loved the feeling of her pressed against his chest in a way that maybe he wouldn’t if they were actually just friends, as they always told themselves. Being friends was just less complicated than untangling their lives from everything else they were tethered to. 

Damian pulled her in closer, pressing a soft and very friendly kiss against the top of her head. “Don’t let the grays in the beard full you. The Force keeps me stronger than any man half my age.” It wasn’t meant to be an innuendo until the hint of something challenging curled in his voice. “But let’s not pretend like you didn’t already know that.”

Her amusement only would have grown if Jer hadn’t been mentioned in the next breath. Obviously Jer knew about Damian and her increasing...activities with the man. But she still got a little nervous that he might change his mind, and decide that he wasn’t entirely cool with letting the woman who was meant to be one of his Old Ladies run around and fucking with another man. But the nerves were more based out of the possibility of not getting to see Damian anymore, as she’d grown quite accustomed to being with him. It was the realization that she would miss him a bit too much if she suddenly couldn’t see him. “Was he...upset? He knows about us.” Us. It was a bit of a dangerous word, paring them together. She should have said you and me. At the same time she was pleased he still seemed unable to keep his eyes off her, despite the bit of worry in her stomach. “What’d he say?”

She laughed at his Seth comment, but was on a similar page when it came to avoiding mention or thought of the man when she was slinking into the folds of Damian’s robe. There was a reason she’d chosen this ill-lit, nearly abandoned area to meet. More freedom to do what they wanted to do. The forehead kiss was far more tender than anything she’d expected him to do, and she was grateful that the darkness would hopefully hide the fact that her cheeks may match the red of her dress after a move such as that. But the change of tone in his voice was something she was far more familiar with, and much easier to answer. “Mmm, maybe I need a reminder. I’m not so sure I believe you,” she said as she pressed her lips in a few kisses against his chest over the fabric there.