Word Vomit

Camila, Mary, Lilith: *enters Avatrice’s apartment, only to find it almost completely engulfed in darkness*

Camila: Uh, hello? Ava?

Mary: What the fuck happened here?

Lilith: *in a low voice* Stay vigilant, sisters. Something’s not right.

Mary: *nods* Camila, text Bea.

Camila: Already sent.

Lilith: Let’s check the bedroom first.

…

Silently, the three walked to the bedroom and there they found Ava curled on the bed and bawling her eyes out.

…

Camila: Ava! *rushes towards the girl* Are you okay?!

Ava: *slumps into Camila’s arms and sobs into her chest* I-It hurts…

Mary: *also frowning and goes to the other side of Ava, looking her over for visible injuries* What hurts? Talk to us!

Ava: Bea…

Lilith: *watches in worry* You know what? I’ll grab Beatrice myself. I’ll be back! *teleports away and to the bar where Beatrice is currently on shift*

Ava: *cries harder*

Camila: *starts tearing up*

Mary: C’mon, Silva. Tell us what’s wrong.

Ava: I… *hiccups*

Mary: *gently coaxes her to continue*

Ava: *grabs her phone* H-Here, listen… *plays Taylor Swift’s song, You’re Losing Me*

Mary: *frowns in confusion* Cam, explain this to me?

Camila: *eyes widening* Did you and Bea break up??

Ava: *wails*

Camila, Mary: *jaws dropped open as the sad song kept playing in the background*

Camila: *crying along and hugs Ava tighter* Oh Ava… (In her mind, she’s thinking, ‘my ship has sunk, oh nooo, this is the worst day of my life’)

Mary: Maybe you misunderstood, Ava… Bea loves you!

Ava: *hiccups* I-I know… we’re not…

Mary: Not what?

Ava: We’re not broken up…

Camila: *stops and wipes her eyes* Wait, what? You’re not?

Ava: *shakes her head*

Mary: Now, I’m even more confused. What the fuck is going on then?!

…

Just then, Lilith teleports in with Beatrice.

…

Camila: Bea! Are you thinking of breaking up with Ava?!?

Beatrice: That’s absurd. Of course not!

Lilith: Then for crying out loud, explain this madness!

Beatrice: *sighs and casually walks over to the trio on the bed* Ava…

Ava: *automatically clings to Beatrice like a koala* Don’t leave me, Bea…

Beatrice: *rolls her eyes and stops the playing song* I thought I told you to stop listening to the song, darling.

Ava: *sniffles* I can’t help it… it’s sooo good, but it’s so fuckin’ sad!

Camila, Mary, Lilith: *gapes in shock and annoyance, finally catching on why Ava was being dramatic*

Camila: Were you crying because of Taylor Swift’s song?? I mean, yeah, it’s good, but c’mon! Ava! I thought you guys broke up!! My ship! You almost gave me a heart attack!

Ava: *grins guiltily* Sorry?

Lilith: What a nuisance. I’m out of here. *teleports away*

Mary: *flicks Ava on the forehead*

Ava: Ow!! The hell was that?! *leaning into Bea’s hand as she caressed her forehead*

Mary: That’s what you get, you dumbass! You had us worried for nothing!

Ava: I said I’m sorry! The song just got to me!

Mary: *rolls her eyes* Come, Cam… let’s go find Lil…

Camila: *hugs Avatrice* I’m so glad you two aren’t broken up! We’ll come back with Lilith for dinner!

…

The couple waved as Mary and Camila left.

…

Beatrice: So… are you okay?

Ava: Yeah, I’m okay. Just the thought of losing you… I can’t fathom it, Bea. You’ll tell me when you’re not happy, right?

Beatrice: As long as you do the same, darling.

Ava: *smiles* Deal.

Beatrice: *kisses her forehead and smiles back, eyes shining* And for the record… I will always do anything and everything to keep you happy. I’ll risk it all, if that means I’ll never lose you. And most importantly, I will always choose you.

Ava: I choose you, too. *kisses Beatrice with all the love she had*

…

A few minutes later…

…

Ava: *comfortable in Bea’s cuddle* So you listened to the song, too, huh?

Beatrice: It’s relatable. She’s well-versed.

Ava: *chuckles* Don’t worry. I won’t tell Lilith you’re a Swiftie, too.

Beatrice: *shrugs* Pretty sure she’s one, too, to be honest.

Ava: *laughs* Oh, I love you, Bea…

Beatrice: *smiles softly* I love you, too, darling.

I just know Ava is a Swiftie. Bea is, too. Can’t convince me otherwise, lol.

On a serious note, isn’t it mind-blowing how Taylor Swift always writes the most heartbreaking songs? It’s another level. The songs just speak to your soul sometimes. My god, I’m a simp, I know. Sue me, lol.

Fuckin’ Netflix has decided to cancel Warrior Nun!!

Like WHAT THE FUCK!

Just NO.

I can’t accept that this is the end.

Wth is the Netflix team thinking??? Or are they even thinking?!

Warrior Nun is a massive success of a show! Even non-lgbtq fans loved it!

Everything was perfectly executed in this show — the storyline, the character developments, the production… They utilised their budget wisely and efficiently! Like what more could they ask for?

And a lot of people subscribed to Netflix just for this show!

So just NO!

I’m still hoping another platform picks up this show!

Also because Beatrice is just rockin’ this outfit. I’m obsessed!

Ava: Help! I think I have a heart problem!

Random stranger 1: What are your symptoms? If you think it’s serious, you should go to the hospital…

Ava: I did, but the hospital turned me away! They even laughed at me!

Random stranger 2: Well, tell us what you’re feeling…

Ava: Sometimes, my heart beats so fast, I feel like it’s trying to come out my chest…

Random stranger 2: That does sound serious. Do you have chest pains?

Ava: No… but it hurts at times.

Random stranger 1: When?

Ava: Well, there was this one time… I was at the bar with my best friend, and I felt like I was getting stabbed in the chest!

Random stranger 1: Stabbing pain… hmm. Were you drinking alcohol?

Ava: No. I’m the barista/ bartender.

Random stranger 2: Were you exhausted, stressed, or having extreme emotions?

Ava: I don’t know… maybe? I mean, I was frustrated at this girl chatting up my best friend… like seriously, what a fuckin’ flirt! Like, stay away from Bea!!!! 🤬

Random stranger 1: 👀

Random stranger 2: Oh honey…

Ava: WHAT? Am I terminal??!

Random stranger 3: Lol, you have no idea, don’t you??

Random stranger 4: Oh poor baby…

Ava: Am I gonna die?? 😭

Random stranger 5: So you initially mentioned your heart beats fast at times… when did it last happen? 🤭

Ava: Well, the most recent one was the other night… I was getting drunk with my best friend, and we were dancing… and Bea is like so good at everything, and so of course I was watching her… and I just felt it.. my heart was palpitating like crazy! Oh god, it's happening now because I'm thinking about it!!! HELP! What do I do??!

Random stranger 5: Oh you are so adorable, op!

Random stranger 3: First time I’m witnessing an awakening!

Ava: I’m confused…

Random stranger 2: Oh we know you are, lol

Random stranger 1: I’ll be the bad guy ripping the band aid. Listen up, op. Surprise, you’re in love with your best friend!!

Ava: …

Random stranger 2: Op? You okay there?

Ava: omg omg omg

Random stranger 4: And there it is…

Ava: I’m in love!

Ava: And I was jealous of the girl at the bar!

Ava: Oh wow, I’m an idiot!!

Random stranger 3: Yes, yes, and yes.

Ava: What do I do???

Random stranger 1: Two ways, tell her outright or slow burn your way into her heart!

Random stranger 2: Go get her!

Ava: I’m gonna think this over… but thanks, everyone!

Random stranger 5: Happy to help, op.

…

…

Meanwhile…

Beatrice: Hello everyone. I just want an advice. How do I get over my feelings for my straight best friend?

Random stranger 1: Your name is Beatrice… hmm… Bea? 👀

Random stranger 2: And the plot thickens…

…

Beatrice: *confused at all the responses and thinks to herself* Oh never mind. Consulting the internet… tsk. Who would actually be stupid enough?

…

…

And that’s that. Lol.

I can definitely see Ava as someone who goes on the internet for everything. Someone who posts about every little thing, has multiple accounts on social media, sometimes trolls forums as a fake nun, and probably sends lots of senseless pictures and memes to Beatrice and everyone else.

a.k.a I have nothing better to do again.. a.k.a I miss them already… a.k.a I did it for Raylla, so I’m doing it for Avatrice too ;)

Just a quick BEWARE: Long post.

And without further ado:

#1 THE KISS SCENE. I don’t really need to say more, but I will, because look at them. This scene definitely takes top spot. It’s such a powerful scene, where both of them had finally let down their guards. It was the softness in Ava’s face and the surprise in Bea’s face, the craving in that brief kiss, the need to chase the feeling after the high, and that reluctant acceptance that this may be their last chance of feeling it all. It’s a rollercoaster of a scene that makes you wanna smile in glee and cry in frustration of what’s to come.

Also, “In the next”.. No words have ever hit me as hard since “May we meet again”. Some things, we don’t want to end and we cling to it desperately. But alas, it does. And so instead, you hope for “maybe someday”. “In the next life, may we meet again.” *dead*

…

#2 THE “I LOVE YOU” SCENE. I debated putting this as 1 or 2, because it’s a milestone confessing your feelings, but this scene was also bittersweet. At first, I was screaming for Beatrice to say it back immediately… but as I watched it again, I realised that she needed those few seconds after Ava said it, to finally accept what those words mean. Beatrice has been emotionally-repressed for probably most of her life. She was ashamed of who she is, and craved for validation. And so for someone to say that they love her, Beatrice took awhile to receive and give back those words.

What I love so much with this scene is how they cling to the last vestiges of what it feels like to touch each other. And Bea smiling back at Ava, despite the pain she feels. *dead again*

…

#3 THE FALL SCENE. A more lighthearted, but slightly dramatic moment— where Ava is classically Ava and Beatrice being the overprotective and anxious gf. These two are shameful for this overly sweet PDA, but slightly respectful in the sense that they probably would’ve kissed if Mother Superion wasn’t there. If anyone had any doubts about Ava reciprocating Bea’s feelings, this scene is a slap to those doubts. It evens slaps Michael in the face, lol. Like, “oh, she’s taken”. Ava has fallen, definitely—both literally and figuratively.

Also, if Mary was here (which she should’ve been), she’d probably be strolling over casually when Ava fell and be like “Relax, Bea. I pushed her down a cliff higher than that. The little shit’s okay.” It would’ve been a great comedic relief. But I guess I’ll take this sweet and dramatic scene.

…

#4 THE OG STARE SCENE. Yup, this is like #3, but in the baby Avatrice phase. It’s awkward, but electric. It’s an eye-opener for these two and there’s definitely an obvious spark. I’m sure this was one of the moments that took away the doubts of fans still questioning if they should ship them or not. Like, look at them. You don’t stare at someone like that and caress their face while your face is centimetres away. *ahem*supercorp*ahem*

Besides, when Ava said she managed to phase through successfully is only because of Beatrice… like c’mon. I knew I was a goner at that point. This scene would be tied with what I’ll call THE CATACOMB SCENE, because of the similar stare and show of trust. And that damn quote they keep exchanging.

…

#5 THE HALO SCENES a.k.a. “Brace yourself, Michael, you’re gonna get blasted off again”. So we see Ava unconsciously using the halo to protect Beatrice in s1. And in s2, we have 2 scenes, but Ava being more in control. And I find it so hilarious that Ava can’t seem to protect anyone but Bea. She has a one-track mind when she’s on protective mode. Others be damned, lol.

And bonus scenes, we get the worried gf hug… then Ava carrying Bea away. Adios Miguel.

…

#6 THE BADASS BEATRICE SCENE. This is classic “if you want to get to her, you’re gonna have to go through me”. Bea to the rescue, and Ava being Ava, stating Bea is a badass. And yup, Beatrice is truly a badass. I’m thinking everyone whooped and yelled when they saw her on screen. I know I did. So yeah, such an iconic scene.

Fierce cinnamon roll. Reminds me so much of Lexa.

This spot is tied with THE CATHEDRAL BASEMENT SCENE, where Yasmine was in awe watching Ava fight… and Bea affirms Yasmine’s statement about how incredible Ava is. Safe to say, I think Bea meant not just in fighting.

…

#7 THE JEALOUS PUPPY SCENE. I loved this scene so much… even more than the scenes where Beatrice is pining for Ava. We all knew Bea had feelings for Ava, and she’s so sure that it’s probably unrequited. But then we get this scene, and it’s like rainbows and unicorns appeared. The hot girl talking to Bea has stoked the fire, and when Ava interrupted them, the girl put even more fuel by leaning in to whisper in Bea’s ear. And my my, it was so satisfying seeing Ava so visibly jealous at the beginning of the season.

Another thing… Ava messing up the drinks and snapping at the customer is gold. Then, she asked Bea what hot girl said. Ava basically ticked all the jealousy checklist, and I live for it. Lol.

…

#8 THE CHEEK KISS SCENE. Ah, domestic Avatrice is such a nice change from all the chaos of s1. It’s been two months and you can really see how Avatrice evolved. It’s in the little things like this—where Ava is completely at ease with showing her affections and Beatrice gladly receives them. Bea didn’t even flinch when Ava did that, which means this isn’t a new thing that Ava’s done. I bet the little shit always does this, and that’s why Bea has to take a deep breath afterwards… because it’s too much at times.

And that look Hans gave, that Beatrice noticed. I don’t think it’s because he’s jealous Bea got promoted before him. I’d like to think it’s because he knows something’s up with Avatrice. He’s curious, and he definitely knows Bea is biased towards Ava.

…

#9 THE BAR SCENE a.k.a. Ava’s awakening. I think we can all agree that this was probably the moment Ava realised she’s got more than friendly feelings for her best friend. Beatrice wasn’t even dancing seductively, but Ava had that look in her eyes. That intake of breath when she was staring at Bea—it’s like she lost her breath because her heart was on her throat threatening to dislodge and offer itself to Bea. Ava was truly captivated.

And Beatrice… oh Bea, you’re so whipped. You’d think she would have more resolve to stay true to her vows, but nope—Ava asks, Ava gets.

…

#10 THE FIRST HUG SCENE a.k.a. Bea’s gay reawakening. Like we’ve said, Beatrice is emotionally-repressed. She will not show affection if it’s not initiated first. This may be the first time someone has actually hugged her… and it’s a new girl, not one of her sisters. You can definitely see the panic in her actions.

Poor baby doesn’t know how to react, lol. Gay panic Bea, and oblivious Ava… classic trope.

…

So that’s that. Would’ve gone on and on if tumblr didn’t have an image limit. I would’ve included every single Avatrice scene. I just have a lot to say, okay! Avatrice gives me so much feels.

When Beatrice spoke these words, she was fighting because it needs to be done to achieve her end goal.

She was doing it out of duty.

And when we got to know her more, we found out that Bea does what she does just so she could “have value”— so she could be appreciated.

In a way, it seemed like she still doesn’t know in which direction her life is supposed to go. Yes, she’s devoted her life to service to God. And her actions show that she lives by this vow, but her heart isn’t 100% in it. She still has doubts and pains that she never fully acknowledges.

So she asks God for guidance. She surrenders hersef to His will. In this fight, if she lives or dies, it’s because He wills it.

I think that’s what she meant by that quote— that even though she feels lost and unsure, she trust that God will show her the path she needs to take.

…

For most of her life, Beatrice thinks her path is avoiding who she is—because who she was in her past was a sin.

Then, Ava comes barreling into her life.

In a short amount of time, Beatrice acknowledges her repressed insecurities and feelings about herself.

Suddenly, her path doesn’t seem so clear. It’s become a winding road with obstacles.

Suddenly, being a sister warrior and protecting the Warrior Nun isn’t just a duty now.

So when she dons the same armour to fight, it’s not the same words she says.

Instead, she says “You all stand between me and Ava.”

She found her only path… No matter how many obstacles, she pushes on… because at the end of that path is Ava.

And even though Ava is “gone”, Bea’s goal is the same. Her path is always to Ava.

I bet she will be doing whatever it takes to find out more about the other realm. She’ll go to hell and back to find Ava and bring her back.

…

Raelle and Beatrice have the same mannerism when kissing their other half or even just being affectionate to them — with their hands on Scylla/ Ava’s face.

And every time that happens, Scylla and Ava have that same expression of looking so in love with Raelle/ Beatrice. Their stares are so intense.

I can’t get enough of them.

Fuckin’ hell. I’m definitely going on withdrawal… lol.

Btw, if you don’t know either of these ships… what are you doing? Go watch their shows!

Completely for science, of course. Lol

So first off, I can imagine Camila’s reaction after Yasmine told her about the Avatrice kiss. Like captain of the ship probably flipped her shit, coz she’s been pushing those two idiots and she doesn’t get to see any outcome apart from the constant pining… and then here comes innocent newcomer Yasmine, who got to witness the most precious moments, especially the kiss.

It probably went like this:

*Beatrice walks out of the OCS headquarters, off to God knows where*

Camila: *watches Beatrice slowly disappear in the distance* I’m gonna miss Bea and Ava being around, but I’m glad to finally be able to rest. It’s exhausting playing therapist to two idiots who’s scared to admit that they’re in love with each other.

Yasmine: *looks at Camila and smiles* Oh I wouldn’t say that, Sister.

Camila: *furrows her eyebrows* What do you mean?

Yasmine: Well, I saw them kiss.

Camila: *eyes wide* WHAT?! WHEN?! HOW?!

Yasmine: *startled at Camila’s outburst* Um…They kissed… just before everything went down… Ava was gonna sacrifice herself, then Sister Beatrice went to—

Camila: OH HELL NO!! *starts running out the gates* BEATRICE!!

Yasmine: Sister!! Where are you going?!

Camila: *ignores Yasmine and everyone, and continues running after Beatrice* BEA!! COME BACK HERE AND TELL ME EVERYTHING!! You owe me that much!!

Yasmine: *stares in confusion*

Mother Superion: *pats her shoulder* Welcome to the OCS, Sister.

Yup, I think that’s how it went in my head. Hahaha. Camila is so much more chaotic this season, I love it. I wished she and Lilith could’ve interacted. I think she would’ve managed to sway Lilith back to their side.

So I binge-watched and I just finished Season 2 of Warrior Nun… and oh my God!!

This season was truly a masterpiece, but it’s a freakin’ rollercoaster of emotions! I was at the edge of my seat most of the time.

And by the end of it all, I wanna scream in joy and cry in frustration at the same time!!

My baby Ava… and Beatrice!! My Avatrice heart is so full yet so broken. I’m happy but yet so sad. So bittersweet…wtf.

And little Camila’s all grown up..

And I’m pissed that there really is no Mary! (That’s the only spoiler I’ll say)

Netflix, you better not cancel this show, istg.

Just. Wow.

And Alba even put it as the last pic, because she knows. What a tease.

So excited for Warrior Nun Season 2! I’ve been waiting for this!!

Seriously, after Motherland Fort Salem… finally!Something to latch on to again, lol.

I can’t wait!

And that little scene at the end… I see you, Avatrice!

Is it really absurd, Beatrice? You sure you’re not jealous?

‘Cause I’m sure the little shit Ava is liking it that you definitely are. Hahaha

Let’s go! I’m ready to simp and clown again!

Parallels? Or just Raelle being such a simp for Scylla?

Ugh. I can’t let go of them yet. I mean, look at them. Those few seconds of Raelle shooting heart eyes at Scylla—so much fire!

No? I’ll still do it anyway. This took me awhile. Had to get my thoughts organised, because my brain is just itching to begin rambling. There’s too many to say, and I’ll probably miss some stuff.

Disclaimer: I still love the show with all my heart. It brought me Raylla and the beautiful friendship that is the unit. And I know, I know… they’re rushing with this season and trying to wrap it all up. I’m familiar with this excuse. But seriously? Still left so many questions.

So here I go… my rant list:

1) Anacostia’s death.

Was it really necessary? It’s so sudden. And seriously, if you’re gonna kill her off, at least do it in a more honourable way! Crushed by a fuckin’ truck?? Really? All that power and badassery—reduced to this incredibly mundane death? I am so upset. They didn’t need to follow other shows formula in killing off characters for shock value.

First off, they ‘kill’ Izadora… then bring her back so she can set off Penelope on Hearst and Silver—meaning, the death was unnecessary. And now, Anacostia… my heart is broken. Why can’t she be revived, too, then? At least, bring her back like Alder…get her to say her goodbyes. That eulogy was lackluster—they moved on so quick, like c’mon. It’s so stupid.

For all that build up with the Camarilla army… and the First Song… it felt like a downward slope.

That bunch of Camarilla army dying from the wind hurricane reminded me of that scene in Game of Thrones.. the infamous mighty Golden Company, dead in seconds by Drogon’s fire breath, lol.

And I knew it had to be either Scylla or Abigail as the last steward. Abigail made sense as they were building up that storyline with Jem. But they still haven’t answered about the earth and sky thing with her and Adil.

And again, that ending…

I don’t know what to make of it. So the Camarilla disappeared or what?

And everyone are witches? What?

And the unit are suddenly goddesses? What about the other stewards?

Somebody explain, please.

I want to say I love it, but I don’t want to lie.

There’s a solution, though.

Warning: Major rambling ahead. I warned you.

Because I want to unsee it, omigod!

Nothing against the actor, but Gregorio??

😭😭😭

When I previously said I’m 50/50 on Talder, I take it back! I’d much rather have that than this!

Gregorio has been MIA since season 2, and there wasn’t even a hint or a clue that they’ve been in contact. And I’ve said it before, wasn’t he hung up on Libba still?

Argh!!

I’d much rather have M and Tally, because they actually had a proper interaction and had a heart to heart convo.

Even Gerit coming back would be better than this.

Damn it. Why this sudden plothole, Elliot!?

Can’t a girl not have a relationship and just be independently happy??

My baby Tally…

Curse you, Gregorio!

…

I’m probably overreacting, but damn!

Why am I so invested?

Ahh.. the plotlines were solid until this point.

I hope they prove me wrong. Show us that Gregorio was actually behind the scenes doing something to get him there!

Fuck, I don’t even know why I’m this mad. I feel a little bit baited… which I never expected to feel with this show.

Please tell me this is just an illusion scene or whatever…

*breathes*

Guess I’ll just focus on Raylla and Adigail then.

…

We have a murderous mushroom. Look at that fury.

Then we have our necro baby, so relieved and just in awe of seeing Raelle again… I bet she would’ve run to her if she wasn’t chained.

And Raelle is on fire, walking so cool like a predator playing with its prey..

With her intimidating words and that little smile… soooo deadly… The Camarilla stood no chance.

She’s so so hot, I can’t. Scylla thinks so, too.

She looks so proud… and just about ready to ravage Raelle, lol.

And then when they finally locked eyes…

The tension is just palpable… and then, explosion of feelings…

You can see the longing in Raelle’s grip… she didn’t want to let go.

You can see the relief in Scylla’s glassy eyes, like she can finally breathe again.

And that line by Raelle “Hold on to that feeling”

Omigod, she knew what Scylla feels because that’s how she feels, too.

They’re just so in tune to each other. So much chemistry.

I can’t get enough of them… and I know I’m gonna go into serious withdrawals when this show ends.