昭夫

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Basics To Know

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Alter within Shining Star System

This blog was made for me to be able to talk about my own things that don’t entirely line up with what our main does. This is not a side blog, but an entirely separate account.

松本昭夫 (Matsumoto Akio), just call me Akio. I use he/they pronouns. I will change between I/we pronouns within any posts I make.

DMs, questions, anything is fine. Anon asks are off and will never be allowed.

You don’t have to interact prior to follow me or be a mutual to me.

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BYI

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I don’t mind if you vent to me about similar experiences, but I do not want to read vents.

If you ask me a question, keep it respectful.

Do not call me pet names unless you’re @chaosbuddies

Do not call me “Accio” unless you’re @chaosbuddies - they are our wife and I asked if it could be our thing so that’s our thing

If you’re mean or just flat out rude, I will make fun of you.

If you have a problem with me, block me rather than making a big deal out of it. It’ll save both of us time.

Don’t be a dick and tell me I can’t use my name, don’t try and police my identity when I have every right to use it.

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DNI

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Shtwt, sh accounts (those that promote sh)

Edtwt, ed accounts (those that promote ed)

Proendos, endos, tulpas, demos, walk-in systems, any non-traumagenic system or supporters. You don’t exist, trauma is needed to form a system.

Homophones, transphobes, transandrophobes

Anyone that doesn’t accept mspec labels

Pedophiles, zoophiles

Pro contact paraphilias (goes with the one directly above this, pedophilia & zoophilia)

Racists

Anti neopronouns, anti xenogenders

TransID & RadQueer

People that kink shame

Aspenfrost fans

Pro harassment

Anyone that uses age regression as a means of supporting pedophilia

If you’re going to talk to me and preach about “closed culture” and that I’m “appropriating” my own culture. I’m reconnecting and I don’t want some asshole trying to make me feel even more guilty for trying to connect to said cultures.

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For those that were following us on our main, violetivyskyes, we have completely deleted it and have made a new blog. The blog is @starsofsin, and the link is here.

For warning, this blog will feature vents, rants, hot takes we have regarding things, and not all of us will be friendly. We will still be posting what we can that is positive, but there will also be things that are negative as well.

We will not only talk about issues with our daily life but also regarding issues of trauma. We will be sharing positive things when they happen as well.

We will all sign off on our posts but there will only be tags if there’s more to add to the post without it really needing anything extra on the post itself.

I’m annoyed by it. Instead of being sad, I’m annoyed. A majority of us are masking for therapy, we’re getting back into masking because we do not feel therapy is a safe space for us to talk about these things, these programs. We can give vague details, but it might not be enough.

We might not even be able to say things related to DID. So I hate being part of the system. It’s hard to be part of a back and forth of communication and actually feel like you’re being understood when you have to hide so much because of how you’ve been treated prior and how people actively show you how people will act online and in person.

Supporting people that mock and know that they’re faking a disorder is wrong.

Just because we don’t care for syscourse doesn’t mean we don’t see the issues endos cause.

But I don’t entirely like it when there’s someone on a Discord server that reminds us of a really bad friend. Yes, I’m glad that there’s people able to do research on OSDDID… but I don’t see how someone can take one to two days and instantly say that they’re a system. I know that it can be extremely nice knowing that there’s symptoms that fit you, but there’s so many other things that could also be causing those symptoms.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with doing research or jumping the gun so to speak. And I know that the person that’s doing it is completely unrelated to the actual friend that pulled an hour long research session and then instantly trauma dumped to us with very triggering things without warning. But we can never see anything like that without thinking of that “friend.”

That anyone that does one/two days or less of research and just acts like they did, like the disorder is fun and games… it makes us so… ehhh towards that person because of one singular being that decided that, when we felt comfortable to open up to them about it, it felt like they just wanted to mock.

And I’m very aware that we might have taken it the wrong way entirely. But we have never been good with someone taking one hour to look into a disorder and nothing else, trauma dump without warning and about very triggering things, and then sound mocking in that same day. The same hour.

It makes me happy knowing that there’s people out there that know the damages that ramcoa/tbmc/programming causes someone, that there’s other voices to hear and be heard coming together to sing together like a war drum.

I’m appreciative of the people that do understand that survivor’s need to be heard and that those that are friends of ramcoa/tbmc survivors know that these things will affect people in different ways and can still be noticed.

Our own programming strikes us in weird moments. Just waking up from sleep and having a dream of traumatic memories, randomly in the middle of a chore, eating, playing games, anything. It affects us deeply and to see others chime in saying that they know what it’s like, it’s so heartbreaking knowing that others have gone through it but it’s also nice seeing a community rise together.

I have my own issues with the ramcoa community (a lot of things being trauma Olympics or trying to tell people that a number can’t be used) but at the same time… it’s also systems and singlets that haven’t gone through the trauma trying to police things as well. I wish people would see survivors as human beings capable of defending themselves as well. We don’t need others to come to our aid because we are our aid, we are our own hero’s, we are our own villain.

But seeing positive sides of the community make me feel so much better. It sucks knowing that I’m not alone and that, again, others have gone through something so terrible but it still means I’m not alone. It allows me to remind myself that… it is real. It did happen.

And for people to stay sheltered and not see it, I hope that there’s days where all survivors can be believed rather than shoved aside because no one wants to think that people go through things like this even if there’s evidence proving that this world is much more dangerous and worse than the common person might believe.

My trauma is not for you to tell me if it did or did not happen.

My trauma and my memories are not for you to tell me if it’s a delusion or not.

My trauma and survival does not give you a right to categorize my morality as wrong or right.

My survival gives you no right to judge me or demonize me because of what I had to do to live.

My trauma does not give you any right to tell me that I’m “wrong” and that it “doesn’t exist.”

I do not owe you my trauma. I do not owe you my memories.

I know my experiences and my experiences give you no right to deny them.

You have no right to tell me that I need to be quiet and let others speak when you won’t even hear my voice.

Just because you have a voice does not give you a right to silence me when I and others are clawing to be heard and believed.

What will you do if your children go through the same? If someone close to you has children will go through the same? Will you tell them that it isn’t true? That it isn’t real? That they’re making it up? That you just think it’s some conspiracy theory? Will you tell them that?

Or is it because you’re hidden online that you feel you can get away with telling traumatized individuals that what they experienced doesn’t exist?

So many systems are fighting for their voices to be heard and they’re being silenced.

There’s so limited communities because the amount of people that get attacked and harassed for even trying to make a safe place for those people. Some of the people that have those spaces can’t even keep up with them with so much going on.

I’m tired of seeing people post about how “it doesn’t exist” and say that “ramcoa doesn’t exist but the trauma does.” It’s irritating to be told what I went through doesn’t exist and does exist at the same time.

It’s important to hear survivors and to be able to understand that this shit happens and still does. Cults, trafficking rings, etc. they all happen. Just because you think that someone can’t force a system doesn’t mean it’s not possible. Do you know how much trauma that someone faces within shit like that? How easy it is for someone to see that there’s so much dissociation and use it against them?

I’m tired of so many people thinking that ramcoa survivors aren’t real. We are, we exist.