i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

im not complaining because i expect you to fix anything im complaining to bond with you. omggggg find your hater spirit

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

That giggle is *everything*. That joy.

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

my grandfather was talking to me about a book he read on how politicians gave control to rich people and it fucked america and he was like "oh yeah this reminded me of a video I watched. It was Robert Reich. Do you know who Robert Reich is? He was clinton's secretary of labor" and I just nodded silently because I didn't know how to explain to my grandpa that yes I know who Robert Reich is. I watch his son psychologically torment improv comedians

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"