Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

This was BY FAR the best thing I’ve seen today.

governess for an intelligent child in an old, decaying mansion in the english/scottish countryside (MAYBE american, but it has to be a part of the country where it rains a lot) (note: the house must host at LEAST one ghost) (second note: if the child’s parent is single, good-looking, brooding, moody, and compatible with my sexual orientation, even better)

handmaiden for the Lady Of the House in a mansion, castle, or sprawling country estate (note: the Lady Of the House must avoid questions, give vague answers about her history, have a fondness for red wine, and avoid venturing outside during daylight hours. a fondness for masquerade balls is not required but HIGHLY preferred)

personal tutor for the Young Lady Of the House whose father will not allow her to see any men, but feels he can trust me, another young woman, to keep his daughter out of trouble (note: in this scenario i can play piano so we can play together and “accidentally” brush hands)

assistant to a private investigator in a city where it always rains and always seems to be night, with vaguely humanoid clientele (note: the investigator must wear a long, black coat. after i’ve solved a case all my own – probably around book 4 or 5 – i get one too.)

They’re his pride now!

“Elizabeth who couldn’t even defend herself”

Do you mean…

Elizabeth who improvised a weapon when pirates invaded her bedroom

Elizabeth who could have run for the exits but instead went straight for the swords

Elizabeth who demanded to speak with a pirate captain and then used the leverage she had to get him to agree to her demands

Elizabeth who CAME AT BARBOSSA WITH A GODDAMN KNIFE and then fucking STABBED HIM when she couldn’t get away

Elizabeth who was trapped on a tiny island with nothing but crates of rum and a man she couldn’t stand and who used those supplies to summon a rescue party for herself

Elizabeth who made a rope out of sheets and climbed down the back of a ship to save the day herself when no one would listen to her about how dangerous the pirates were

Elizabeth who snuck onto the Black Pearl, knocked two cursed pirates straight off their ship, and rescued Jack’s entire crew

Elizabeth who rowed straight back into danger without any backup instead of running away with everyone else

Elizabeth who came to Will’s rescue with a blunt object and a one-liner

Elizabeth who proceeded to team up with Will to take down all the remaining pirates in the cave

Elizabeth who – without being asked or told what was going on – faked unconsciousness to create a distraction for Will’s rescue of Jack

Elizabeth who stepped in front of a ring of muskets, successfully protecting Jack and Will from being shot or captured

And my all-time favorite:

And also: Aliens.

/souˈdädə/

noun