Writer/Artist/Poet/Blogger/Etc.

What is a writing mindset? This means different things for different individuals. For me it means always looking at things and wondering how they would translate to the page.

fighting something you don’t understand

why would you; you’re just my hand

you write the words I am supposed to say

tow the line and emote the right way

you’re just my hand

my mind is internal. You don’t speak for me

Or write my feelings or share my conflicts

we are divorced from one another

only roommates never lovers

My inner hell not yours to discover

I think and you my extremity follow

Your pen strokes reek of duty

unsatisfying in the dark descent

your just my hand

unsatisfactory; disloyal

inadequate in the ambivalence

fighting something

I am just posting madly into the void. I sometimes feel like this is true. I might as well stand on my head and call myself a watermelon. I could impersonate Tyler Durden. But my alter ego has a name. I call her Corrina Nouveau and she wants to be let out once and a while.

Vanishers

Where are all the lonely people?

What is their purpose and their plan:

Why do they take only for themselves,

and never for another;

Why do they alienate colleagues,

friends, and lovers.

Where is the purpose in the pain?

They are Vanishers in the dark. The addicted.

Loneliness is a more potent catalyst

than loving ever was. It’s like trying to understand

the breaking in all the broken places; inexplicable and gnawing

dissatisfaction….of what could have once been.

Being noticed yet never being seen.

Fame is the whore. The setting in of scars.

Starting of a civil war. Vanish into the void.

Being in the zone for me, physically, is sometimes difficult. Especially for someone as cerebral as I am. Tendencies I have make me more likely to just intellectualize everything and live in my head. Kamala Harris said it’s important to take care of your body as well as your mind. Both need attention otherwise one may stagnate. Because the two are connected.

Stanley park is on First Nations territory. The first peoples have owned this territory for thousands of years. The park is on unceded Coast Salish Land. This first and foremost must be acknowledged as fact.

As a child and as a young adult Stanley Park was always there for me. For the city of Vancouver. For everyone. Everything about this place is special. So many things about Stanley Park are iconic. Too many things to list. Somebody please tell me some negatives to counterbalance things.

The sea wall was a welcome scenic walk when I was a child. Getting ice cream at prospect point and taking in the view of North Van. Going to the zoo and the aquarium. (Yes there was a zoo in the 80’s) Watching the penguins and otters. Getting popcorn and peanuts. Feeding the birds and the squirrels. The petting zoo, the train.

My favourite part of Stanley was the Nine ‘O’ Clock Gun. Hands down obsessively favourite thing. I was 5 and loved to watch things blow up! I was a tom boy back then and also loved to play Street hockey. One time when the gun went off our dog escaped and we had to search for her. It took a very long time to find her under some bushes, cowering.

I use humour to diffuse tension and relieve stress. Always have, always will. It’s like a ride or die friendship. Sometimes hilarious, sometimes darkly morbid and strange but always uniquely human. Real at all costs. I have an expired calendar with old motorcycles. Kept the pictures though. Great ones. Triumph, Indian, Yamaha,etc. Beautiful old machines. Like the ones seen on American Pickers. I don’t care that “It’s not a girl thing”- Just like them anyways. I also like old classic cars. Shelby baby. Corvair. Corvettes have more curves than some women.