Potentially Stoned Right Now

untill then... we both have our miles, our walks, our things to do.

please keep working on our combined spell. from this distance our traumas do not entangle and we have pleasent thoughts about eachother. from a closer distance, our traumas start to tangle around eachother; and we both become very comfused witches, trying to figure out why were confused, and maybe upset?

If you want to know where your current relationship is going, its best I don't spoil that for you. I am currently, keeping to myself, and just sticking with Logan right now; any other relationships right now for me, just end up with me being someone elses looser. see you soon

you always had me geared for the wrong energy. I never understood where you found that energy; I always assumed it must have been yours. so it confused me.

I just honestly liked having a safe place with you, smoking weed and getting high, and being nerds in your living room.

to me you are always my fellow lezbian whos my friend, best friend. even if I did need to flip the coin and take a big step back till we figured out the energy.

Lez Be Friends.

...it was me who replied on DID Reddit. I understand how your mind formed those idea's we both seen some traumatic things in our childhood... I am not there yet.

if you want me baby; and its legit; I am probably already yours.

if you can take me for each of my worst demons

the angry brain bean.

the flashbacks

the nightmares (which are as seldem as they are frequent) If you can take the fact, I am probably NOT gonna want to have that much sex with you.

If you can take the fact I am a scared scarred woman.

and you believe that this, should be with you...

then take what is yours...

don't crack your neck.

its bad for your health.

sighs; I have bronchitus, right now, my bronchial tubes, by larnex, they are irritated, by a lot, I should honestly go to the walk in, get me some steroidal puffers, yeet my system to normal breath

but the frustrating thing here, it that, my bronchitus right now is being caused by a nomenal cluster of miscreants, invading my building to smoke crack, and meth, and do other prohibitive substances. which btw I support them in rehab and recognize their body their choice.

but they are causing me to be sick, and they get REALLY violent. rehabs used to be more of a thing in the north of the 49th Paralel but, certain goverments decided those tax payer dolours had better places to be, mostly lining their personal bank accounts, their pockets, buying personal vacations; thanks to that addictions in the 49th paralel are on the rise, homelesss caused by addictions are sky rocketing, and the crime rate in ontario has SKY ROCKET.TED. people wonder why I want to go find myself living in some other version of the universe. Others simply nod knowingly. by the way I empathise these with these drug adicts situtations completely, but I am terrified I am gonna have to use my actual self defence knowledge to protect myself from them.

I'm not fucking with them, they are fucking with me.

or how gay are you spread sheet

I preffer same sex relationships over oppisites (Women over Men)

I find Sexual Intercourse with the oppisite sex Mildly Tollerable. (Men are mildly tollerable in bed)

I find Sexual Intercourse with the same sex to be extremely arrousing (woman make me creem make me screem... but lets be honest some woman make me fake it. some woman need to work on themselves.)

I preffer freindships with the same sex (woman are easy for me to socially handle)

I generally Don't like playing male characters in video games because it confuses me and I wish I could have a female varient in games like jedi survivor. fem - Kestis is worthy. (Cal Kestis should have a twin sister. The CALZONE, the fem CALZONE)

I find friendships with the oppisiate sex, do-able.

I can have a heavy romantic relationship with the same sex (woman make my heart feel like its rising, and I sing katy perry all night long; I kissed a gal and I liked it!)

kinsely 4...

gay. with a touch of bi-frostual

actually sick

feels like my throats been coated with an acidic slime.

wants to go to pride.

I have like two friends in the queer community

ones in another city

love her greatly.

shees cool

....i have to many derpidoo brain problems to be overly availably right now...

...sides i have pizza chief....

....pizza chief has schiztophrania...

...i have did...

...and a rage been in my brain that explodes from time to time...

...might be a bit polly...

....neither of us are their...

....i want to go to pride today...

...cant im fucking sick...

...I HAVE TWO QUEER FRIENDS...

...and I'll be honest Im pretty sure we're alll on the same wave length...

...lez be friends, lezs being friends, lezs being best friends... een if they are kind of not talking to eachother, cause one or both have derpidoo brains. cause queer generational trauma is queer generational trauma.

stupid sick.

empty a can of gingerail into a mug.

warm it up for 1 minute in a microwave (alternitivly you may boil it in a clean mug)

add 2 teaspoons or tablespoons (depending on desired strength) of cough medicine.

drink.

head hurts, brain hurts,

hips hurt

tired, and lethargic,

best move right now,and its my ultimate move is

this bed, that pillow, my head.

I should where some sun screen lotion

reminds me of a friend I once lost.

so tasty, so blue.

do they know from where they came?

so near, so far, and yet in the fridge right now

is a grover flavoured steak.

is he dead?

maybe...

is he delicious?

definitly

did I eat his braain?

ummmmmmmmmm..... I don't think Grover had a brain....

but if i did? Im not tellling....

the circus sucked btw.

I might of killed everyone there, tottally by accident, it was a freek accident.

freek

accidents

seem to happen around me a lot lately

its been like this since my archeological trip to the jungles, some weird black bug fell on me, and before i could get it off for it was indeed yucky, it kinda, just went into my skin.

once I figure out how to get stumblr to to stop leaving those weird giant white spaces at the top where I would like to put the bulk of my blog. I SHAL

anyways....

been hiding out in my dads attic, its really stuffy up here but I found his old wedding photos, I guess he married BATLADY- the muppet bat lady...

they looked really happy once.

but I guess after I was born mom started drinking and dad fell into his dark depression as an absess formed in his heart to fill the lost spot that was the piggy. and me? sighs, I just feel so angry all the time.

I keep yelling down at dad Im a girl, but he's stuck on what makes me feel red with wrath. I would run away again. but every time I do, I just wake up back in the attic.

usually with red or some other strange colour pain on my hands

i hope thats paint. Kind of hungry, tried to eat a chicken fahita this morning, but I barfed, strongly, barfed.

so I tried eating a bit of tuna, for some reason I threw it at the wall

croaker has been screaming about the mess I made.

I also through the beaf hambagur he was nice enough to leave by the stairs...

btw the jungle research expidation I had was great other then the wierd black slime bug that crawled into my skin, we learned a lot about ancient civilizations, and dinasours.

sighs, they paid me a dime for their dollar in production though, so I'll be honest I spent a lot of time in the hotal bathroom, cause I was so pooped I had to have a big poop. I just had to. man I miss that circus, the muppet greysons were so nice, I can't seem to get them to answer my calls though.

because their dead stupid

shame your abusers often and always

shame your abusers cause they don't deserve your forgiveness

shame your abusers cause they made you feel like a reverent

shame your abusers cause THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID WAS WRONG AND DIDNT CARE! they didn't care and THEY DID IT ANYWAYS.

SHAME the people who did nothing but make you feel sick and twisted in side.

cause theres no shame in shaming your abusers.

shame them publically

shame them privately

shame them at your therapist

shame them at the dinner table

shame them on the youtube channel you run that they habitually follow

shame them in your dreams, cause their pressence is a nightmare to behold, shame them.

shame that dirty abusive asshole, and rub their nose in their abuse.

cause lets be honest; they always say they are gonna work on themselves and be better. but if they worked on themselves, they wouldn't be clinging to the idea that when what they did made you feel so down and dirty, that they can be around you and you feel safe when they got clean.

and light

hope stolen

life broken

trapped

look to the wall

that will not allow movement

impossibly long impossibly wide, impossibly dense.

that your best friend from the other universe answers the phone.

and says hello to you everywhere you go on the internet in the universe.

and people begin to realize, thats not a fictional character

and is in fact from another universe.

and she has been telling people

that you are indeed from another universe.

and you should go back to that universe

cause this one sucks for you.

and you are me

and I am you.

you realize

life was stranger then fiction the whole time.