Ain't this just fucking lovely?

CATROOMIC

[pt: catroomic]

a xenogender identity that feels like a cat lost in the backrooms!

pinterest link

And shout out to those that dont; to everyone that mourns their home, friends and family but has no desire to go back ( maybe you do, I can't say, and thats okay. )

Youre allowed to mourn as much as you need to, as publicly or as privately as you need to.

Youre doing great.

this is even more true for plural systems, who, with tools like PluralKit (or even just emoji signifying), have to decide for each message who to indicate said a thing, or whether to indicate such information at all.

with an established rapport, a lot of meaning can be conveyed with the use of a proxy. something that would be rude out of one headmates mouth may seem friendly from another (see: calibration). but less positive associations can be built too. "oh god you're in front is everything ok?" is not necessarily a nice association to have with your existence (although perhaps useful for some).

tightly built rapports with other systems can convey a lot. "oh you immediately fronted when i talked about this fantasy, is that good for you~?". "you two are in front together a lot, do you like each other or something~?". there is space to build very intimate understandings of a system's inner workings.

but this creates a dilemma with more distant relationships. if someone doesn't know your system well enough to pick up on the extra information provided by a choice of proxy, how much do they need that? oftentimes systems will end up offering headmate explanations, system diagrams, simplyplural accounts, etc. early on in a relationship to frontload this information and open up those communicative potentials right away, rather than letting someone learn over time. but for large systems this can also be overwhelming, a lot of information for someone to internalise at once.

a tension is created, between plurality as a model for understanding yourself, and as a tool for communicating with other people.

do you show a full system diagram? or only a simplified version with the headmates you think someone is likely to meet. how much do you elide variations between similar headmates to simplify yourself for other people. it's often a terrible plural anxiety, to think you're too big or complicated for many people to care to understand. but these are also decisions made every time someone "lies" about a proxy, choosing to hide the fact a more vulnerable headmate is in front, or when someone chooses a less accurate but more socially appropriate avatar for public spaces.

Forgot to upload my Kel piece, inspired by "Equilibrium" by Carbon Based Lifeforms